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The Book of Lawsuits

A lawsuit waiting to happen...
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Have you ever tripped on something or bumped your head in a store, and then said to yourself "That's a lawsuit waiting to happen!"

And then, just briefly, did you imagine yourself pretending to be hurt, and making millions of $$$ by suing the owner on a trumped-up charge?

You then probably thought, "well, I can't do that...that wouldn't be honest" -- and your mind then wandered to the thought of someone else without such a conscience problem, who would soon probably be the town's next millionaire.

Well, take heart. Here's an idea for you. Every time you bump your head or slip on something, write it down in The Book Of Lawsuits, and then sell this book for $21.95 a copy! It's an instant best seller! Buy this book and you'll have access to billions of dollars in FREE lawsuits! Never have so many money-making opportunities been collected in such an easy-to-use book!

In fact, just owning the book gives you, the buyer, a free lawsuit opportunity - that's right...SUE THIS BOOK!!! This book is a class-action suit waiting to happen, and YOU can get in on the big bucks! The author has set aside funds which are in special, unprotected bank accounts so that the suer of this book can collect fa$t! That suer can be you! So order today. Only $21.95.

phundug, Oct 28 2004

(?) poor old grandad. http://thenagshead....d.com/history02.htm
[po, Oct 30 2004]


       Bangs head on desk as management caught me reading this, [phundug] what's your details ? I'm going to sue you.
skinflaps, Oct 28 2004

       I don't understand this. I get it in as much as you curate a catalogue of your mishaps, like a workplace's statutorily required Accident Book and then, when you've filled it, you sell it. After that, when it gets to the creation of some unspecified legal duty and a money making scheme resting on punitive damages, I get lost.   

       Oh hang on. It's a catalogue of real accidents which the reader could use to conjour up some fictitious legal claim, for their own nefarious money making purposes. I'm not sure where the suing of the book comes in, unless it incites the buyer to raise such a spurious action and I can't see such an action ever succeeding. Well, maybe in the US. But not elsewhere.
calum, Oct 28 2004

       The Compleat Civil Cause Compendium.   

       Other countries are catching up to the US in the frivolous lawsuit department but we do have a big lead.
bristolz, Oct 28 2004

       I get neither what the buyers are supposed to believe nor why it's funny that someone would.   

       Is this just a pun-taken-seriously on "lawsuit waiting to happen"?
jutta, Oct 28 2004

       To me, it's ridiculous how in countries like the US people can sue other people for virtually ANYTHING. I thought I was reading fiction when I saw an article about teenagers who sued McDonald's for making them FAT. Damn, that's a joke. How can any country allow that?   

       Fishbone to anything encouraging people to make this world a more ridiculous place.
Pericles, Oct 28 2004

bspollard, Oct 28 2004

       Pericles, you can always sue someone, that doesn't mean you'll win anything. In the example you cite, that "McDonalds makes you fat" lawsuit (filed Oct 2002) was thrown out of court very quickly by a wise judge (Feb 2003).   

       Lawsuits are an important tool to act as a check against the huge power wielded by corporations and governments. Yes, some unethical people misuse them. But to make it so the government "wont allow" certain lawsuits, gives that government veto power over one of the very things that is supposed to keep it in check.
krelnik, Oct 28 2004

       From my understanding of law - taken entirely from american courtroom drama television - the lead lawyer always refers to a big set of books that have inside them the details of cases that have been won or lost in in some sort of specific circumstances. Then before they go to court they talk about 'precedents' - Hannigan vs. Carbunkle 1953 ruled for the defendant in the matter of same-sex horse marriage etc.
benfrost, Oct 30 2004

       [Pericles], I think you may have just fishboned the halfbakery! Have you read 'vagina jam'? The world *did not* become a more sober place after that idea posted!   

       What's the opposite of ridicules? Commendable?
Ichthus, Oct 30 2004

       Ideas do not make the world a more ridiculous place but sometimes acting upon them does.   

       (puts down fish tank filled with jello)
Worldgineer, Oct 30 2004

       ahem..a story by dentworth   

       I was in Home Depot and standing there not touching anything, and a window, full 8 feet tall, two pieces, and frame fell on me at an angle such that my head and neck took the brunt. I was stunned but not knocked out. The guy in the next aisle who had loosened it came running over, barely spoke English, said little, pulled it up and continued on his business. He was an employee. I thought, Hey I could sue! But as I do not believe in suing for every little mishap I let it go. Year later, ruptured disk, barely walking, arms numb, had to have surgery right away. Still not willing to sue. Am I stupid? probably. but I don't believe suing some poor laborer from Mexico [edit] or Guatamala is going to change anything.
dentworth, Oct 30 2004

       you'd be suing the company not the employee surely?   

       in your case, I think registering the accident would have been prudent, if only to prevent any further misadventure to someone else.
po, Oct 30 2004

       You are right po, unfortunately I was too stunned to think of what to do. and I can't really prove what caused the disk in my neck to rupture either.
dentworth, Oct 30 2004

       don't you just hate it when something comes crashing down near you in a shop! I am surprised they didn't charge you for breakages; that would have brought you out of your reverie quick enough.
po, Oct 30 2004

       The window didn't break! I think I said something lame like, that's a good window.
dentworth, Oct 30 2004

       You should have sued. In fact, I think we should sue you for not suing, as a lesson to others.
waugsqueke, Oct 30 2004

       be gentle waugs, I think she is still concussed...
po, Oct 30 2004


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