Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
h a l f b a k e r y
The phrase 'crumpled heap' comes to mind.

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The Do-badder

White people archetypes
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This isn’t the only way to read white people but it will do for now.

White people come in four colors. Apathy, hate, do-gooder, and do- badder.

White people are essentially haters in that they hate the cold and do something about it, and black people are essentially lovers in that they love fucking under palm trees in the sun, and Rome was built on this principle, that French white people and germsn white people will never get along so you go with the Moroccans, right?

But besides the productive/unproductive split between white people archetypes there is also a shit head/reasonable guy archetype split between the do-goodies and the do-badders. Think Tony Robbins and Harvey Weinstein, yes he is white.

So I am a do-badder. And I have “invented” a currency and an outreach collaborative with which to take over the world.

And you know, as white people’s sitting behind your unproductive computers, having your babies and complaining that your ergonomic chairs aren’t just right, that I can measure your shit, but I am not on your side, white people.

Take a lesson from Uber. I remediated that shit with my left pinky, negro. Blind community sued the Muslim drivers who wouldn’t accept guide dogs into their cars, Kalalnik reacted too strongly and got his mother accident Suicided. I killed your mother, nigger, with no government money spent. Your welcome. You like that? Pretty magical ay? I am a do-badder. Next is Hollywood and then, America.

You like it? There is more where that came from. And it is targeted right here at the half bakery, in a totally virtual sense of course you understand, forthwith, and wherewithal and the rest of your fucking bullshit. Because you are the essence of a marriage between apathy and hate. And i love football because it essentializes the difference between black between white people in that black people can’t throw a spiral. That’s why it’s the American national sport. And I love to win, and don’t care about the losers, because I am a do-badder.

Lick it up haters. This is a new White archetype, open source, rooted in libraries.

Take this and paint it. You can have whole Morman charter schools about it which you can fund with your American currency which will be like iceberg lettuce in my teeth as a gnash my way into do- badder hell. And I’m taking you with me.

I will meet you there. It’s a deal.

JesusHChrist, Oct 23 2017

Huge https://www.google....en-us&client=safari
[JesusHChrist, Oct 24 2017]

Corey Holcolm https://www.youtube...watch?v=hdmnR1cSc4o
I think he's on the side of the leave-people-alone-er. [spidermother, Oct 27 2017]

[link]






       Come on MB, throw a spiral in my direction, I’m totally open.
JesusHChrist, Oct 23 2017
  

       I will happily donate $5 towards the development of a street drug that makes a person feel good, but fucks up their ability to post on the Internet.
FlyingToaster, Oct 24 2017
  

       Your first FT
JesusHChrist, Oct 24 2017
  

       And by the way your currency is no good with me
JesusHChrist, Oct 24 2017
  

       Most people don't think about their actions. Will labelling/stating the problem help this? As a person that usually thinks why did I do that on many occasions, I don't think so.   

       A better, more subtle, experience-thought complex step up is probably needed.
wjt, Oct 24 2017
  

       >>>>>
16. Jesus said, "Perhaps people think that I have come to cast peace upon the world. They do not know that I have come to cast conflicts upon the earth: fire, sword, war.
  

       For there will be five in a house: there'll be three against two and two against three, father against son and son against father, and they will stand alone."
<<<<<
  

       -- from The Gospel of Thomas
translated by Stephen Patterson and Marvin Meyers
sbowles, Oct 24 2017
  

       I think he's sleeping.
mylodon, Oct 24 2017
  

       If you could team up with a dee-boo-wopper, you could form a scat group (in either sense of the word).
MaxwellBuchanan, Oct 26 2017
  

       I will speak with Corey, for the white peoples. I declare myself, the antichrist, an official representative of white people and i’m Going to tell the truth about what we white people really think when we are in line at 7-11 behind some prime black people. I promise to speak right from the heart.
JesusHChrist, Oct 27 2017
  

       Is Trump the Unites states of America's stereotypical corporate head and finally this stereotype has got a direct hold on the political system, showing how much monetary drive is so behind everything else?   

       <self indecision> archetype - stereotype </self indecision> Public voting was on the stereotype. I just hope the hidden corporate head isn't the archetype.
wjt, Oct 27 2017
  

       //an official representative of white people and i’m Going to tell the truth about what we white people really think when we are in line at 7-11 behind some prime black people//   

       I think that, if you're in line at a 7-11, you are already not quite one of life's success stories.
MaxwellBuchanan, Oct 27 2017
  

       Thank you for opening your heart. You may be my Sargent at arms when I abdicate control of the disability currency to Corey for reparations for all color people.
JesusHChrist, Oct 27 2017
  

       You may hold the gilded sword quiveringly, abject and inconsequential at the feet of the throne while I bend down low as if to pick a bale ‘o cotton and as if in the shower at prison, expose my anus to you and kiss Corey’s holy glans at the same time. Do you want me supplicant? Lalolelilslolelo
JesusHChrist, Oct 27 2017
  

       I am holding a warty gnarled winged gourd right now and thinking of you.
JesusHChrist, Oct 27 2017
  

       But I miss bigsleep. But he was a bitch, you know how some guys are all like front and no back end? Totally, like as soon as we got in the bedroom? Shaking like an alter boy accepting his first holy Cock I’m the anus, the sane kind of scream like squeaky like a pig which you see is the advantage of pugs, it the high frequencies in their squeals, you know what I mean jelly bean?
JesusHChrist, Oct 27 2017
  

       Do you dare to dance by the light of the silvery moon?
JesusHChrist, Oct 27 2017
  

       I’m inventing my own Batman bad guy for Halloween, Fr. Love, the antichristus, capable of leaping inaccessible captchas in a single num pad enter button pinky swipe, it’s a bird it’s a plane, it ... the antichrist! Kiss, join me in taking over the greatful dead franchise and producing s real world wide pagan reawakening. Come one come all, the candy man’s in town, open up your windows.
JesusHChrist, Oct 27 2017
  

       2066! Summer of love! April 19th. Sizzle! Burrrrrn baby burn, disco inferno. Turn this mother out.
JesusHChrist, Oct 27 2017
  

       I’m a free man, I had a thing with death and it totally blew up restraining orders the whole 9 yards, he’s a total wanker btw, but so anyway, death, failed to live up to its promise as pat fir the course so as of yet I am still unmarried in the ultimate sense so as the cat may play, I am going to continue to fuck your wives and mothers and daughters with vigor and relish and aplomb if you wiki permit me the poetic license, until something better comes along in the form of another halfbakery with a user name that is as it more pertinent to the concept of the antichrist as death is,
JesusHChrist, Oct 27 2017
  

       Bigsleep: total... as I said, shakin like a leaf on a tree. I need some money. I want beef! Gimme sine money (capitalization excoriated per biggie’s sensitivity, we’re all welcome here.
JesusHChrist, Oct 27 2017
  

       At least give me an identity like 3 frys shy, that man knows what he’s talking about. There’s at least a little sun in that guy. But I think I’ve had him before and it didn’t end well, you know what I mean so, forthwith, step up for god sakes...
JesusHChrist, Oct 27 2017
  

       My next friendship as the antichrist, shall be with....
JesusHChrist, Oct 27 2017
  

       MaxwellBuchanan copy and paste, I wouldn’t learn how to spell that motherfucker if he was the last captcha between me and the 79 virgins ;) :)
JesusHChrist, Oct 28 2017
  

       He CANNOT be the antichrist, I dissallow it,I disavow it, it mustn’t be, you NEED to comply with my orders right now, or I’m going to become very very vary hot and bothered. Apologize for the capitals, we are all Scott’s here.
JesusHChrist, Oct 28 2017
  

       All Scott’s?
JesusHChrist, Oct 28 2017
  

       Off with your head, that’s what.
JesusHChrist, Oct 28 2017
  

       I’m blonde on blonde.
JesusHChrist, Oct 28 2017
  

       As white as the driven snow. The antichrist, cold, white, evil. Bright. Light. High! I’m in too. I win! Yes Yes Yes. I love it. I feel good. I like it. A lot. Unhhhh. It feel good,
JesusHChrist, Oct 28 2017
  

       White like lightning. Bright Lightning. Sky Diver. Aint good looking but you know I ain’t shy Ain’t afraid to look a girl in the eye. Cause I was born to gamble.
JesusHChrist, Oct 28 2017
  

       A Rambling Guy
JesusHChrist, Oct 28 2017
  

       R A M B L I N apposraphe, on the “n”.
JesusHChrist, Oct 28 2017
  

       As in negative
JesusHChrist, Oct 28 2017
  

       Negatory, negritude and niggardky, negronius.. never mind MaxwellBuchanan you are like biggie smalls, only here for a while,?, a passing thing, befreft of life you are pushing up the dasies.
JesusHChrist, Oct 28 2017
  

       It’s because I did my homework mother fucker.
JesusHChrist, Oct 28 2017
  

       Spelled H OME W O R K ! Apologize for the all caps, were all Scott’s here you know wat I mean Ian?
JesusHChrist, Oct 28 2017
  

       That’s two strikes boogers.
JesusHChrist, Oct 28 2017
  

       Step up to the plate. Wait for the ball. Swing!
JesusHChrist, Oct 28 2017
  

       I hope I am not upsetting your collective magnanumiudnesses, by saving the WORLD from the disgusting orange ogre we have vouchsafed into the whitehosevas an anti Christian calling card that the rapture is about to start funk soul brothers. And I’m an evil older brother so approach my adoption agency with tender care. Back to part about saving the world and getting flaming ostracism in return, can I get s kitkke heli, little shut out, mittkr thank you
JesusHChrist, Oct 28 2017
  

       I saved the world and return I get ostracism.
JesusHChrist, Oct 28 2017
  

       Suck the yellow gilded sword of Yakov Kahn the great and terrible negro!
JesusHChrist, Oct 28 2017
  

       Silence is complicit
JesusHChrist, Oct 28 2017
  

       Mongol Hordes coming to get you Montgomery.
JesusHChrist, Oct 28 2017
  

       Happy Halloween. Remediate thyself by standing in one leg. That is all.
JesusHChrist, Oct 28 2017
  

       Sp.: "daisies"
MaxwellBuchanan, Oct 28 2017
  

       Flying Toaster you're up.
JesusHChrist, Oct 28 2017
  

       I keep reading this as the Do Bladder, which is something quite different, and probably an idea for a portable toilet for solid waste.
xenzag, Oct 28 2017
  

       Each one of you shall attain my identity, if you follow me.
JesusHChrist, Oct 28 2017
  

       There are suppose to be inhibitor neurones. They serve a vital function.
wjt, Oct 28 2017
  

       i liked the ideas about your snake game better
Cuit_au_Four, Oct 28 2017
  

       All the money in the return for one gourd with which I shall remediate the world of violence, and take this money and put the KEYS TI THE KINGDON IF HEAVEN into the hands of Corey to initiate worldwide reparations to n the form of an infrastructure project starting with mobile assistive technology outreach in remote areas of Iran. 2018.
JesusHChrist, Oct 28 2017
  

       I shall accept an impromptu role as Jesus in Godspell on Broadway, reunion, summer New York 2018. The cast will join the Dead and Friends Tour with a special appearances by Gene Simmons of Kiss for an encore of Dr Love backed by the Mormon Tabernacke choir in full orgy.   

       The cast will know the play and will prompt me but otherwise I will just go off the top of my head and tell parables that are pertinent and aporioriate to the people present, solving one problem at s time as a stairway to grace whereby we all remediate each other. Chair massages by hot Asian chicks and tactile attention from deafblind filks ciutesy if the antichrist LLC.
JesusHChrist, Oct 28 2017
  

       I shall play Terence McKenna in a remake of the Ala Chorrera Experiment, again using no script but prompts and improvising parables according to the needs of those who are present in real time and real space, and touching people in occasionally inappropriate places Ruth the gourd of course, and you will like it. My gourd shall smite thee from a platform of snicker snack and with a financial consultancy of one two and through and through.
JesusHChrist, Oct 28 2017
  

       I shall accept the opportunity to participate in a month long reakity tv version of the Ricky horror picture where I am dr frank n further, gene Simmons is my trusty dude kick, all of the robots are hot Asian chicks, Brad and Janet are played naked by Donald and Melanie Trump with his daughter in a leash, all naked, for much hilarity in the various scenarios up to which we will get.
JesusHChrist, Oct 28 2017
  

       At night there shall be merriment and committee tree meetings at which to share ayahuasca and René nice about the old old old times. And to negotiate a settlement package, singed in spunk, by my on the contract if Donald trumps soul or as close as I can get to it with the gourd. And he shall sing his consent at my direction with the gourd. I will be very gentle and the resulting song will be played wirkdwide too I f the charts, huge, with a bullet.
JesusHChrist, Oct 29 2017
  

       Orange and Green for Halloween Donald, and I have the green folks wrapped around my little pinky.
JesusHChrist, Oct 29 2017
  

       Allow me to reply at the same level from which the idea is written: OP is a fag.
Voice, Oct 29 2017
  

       The only thing I can think of when I think of OP is other people’s. That can’t be what you meant.
JesusHChrist, Oct 29 2017
  

       Original poster, Voice, I like it. You are kinda sexy with that.
JesusHChrist, Oct 29 2017
  

       We can talk, the antichrist needs a Voice.
JesusHChrist, Oct 29 2017
  

       I was kind of thinking that ringing the shofar by introducing a giant Vaselined gourd into Donald Trumps anus si that he may sing exactly what I feel, was going to be my voice but now that I look at that, it’s a little duck tapey know what I mean? I could use a soapoperetic vitriolic relationship between JesusHChrist and Voice to achieve the same ends. Yes, dastardly. You are bold young banana.
JesusHChrist, Oct 29 2017
  

       And quite strapping.
JesusHChrist, Oct 29 2017
  

       And recalcitrant in need of some discipline with your 3 letter essays from detention. What does fag mean to you Voice? Does a gourd count? We could ride the line.
JesusHChrist, Oct 29 2017
  

       Death was my bitch, you will be my moomoo wearing mother hen, clucking around the kitchen preparing ordeurves for company. Kind of faggy yes. I’ll go there, Voice, with you.
JesusHChrist, Oct 29 2017
  

       You know why gay men are all clucky like that? Like so polite and “oooh I almost spilled the tea”? It’s becayse they are appropriating microaggressiins and using them as a technology in order to extract enough endorphins from their brain to convince their bodies that they are undergoing the danger and pleasurful situations they would need to go through in order to procreate. People with disabilities go through the same thing. We could give it a Voice together lover. You and me. My Voice.
JesusHChrist, Oct 29 2017
  

       My faggy Voice.
JesusHChrist, Oct 29 2017
  

       Loo LA LA LEE LA LA Looooo.
JesusHChrist, Oct 29 2017
  

       Choir practice, NOW! Bitch!
JesusHChrist, Oct 29 2017
  

       Oh yeah, gentle, gentle, this is how I lost bigsleep, my first real love, la loo la loo to the max biggie smalls. You would have been my lover in another time and place but I have to raise the living and the dead and your bigness is only about 50 years now since 2066 is the end, so you know big sleep 59 years, wanker. I’ll see your 59 years and I will raise you one Voice. I found my Voice negro. And I’m doing him in the back end and there ain’t no babies coming out if his other end. We are fat and we love it. Bitch. Do what u want. My identity bitch.
JesusHChrist, Oct 29 2017
  

       I’m lookin for some real love baby this evening some hot love baby tonight.
JesusHChrist, Oct 29 2017
  

       This is the real deal Voice! If you demure one anus hairs breath from opening your soul to me I will feel it. Do not demure, do not struggle, do not resist. Give yourself over to me completely or I shalt vomit thee out my mouth.
JesusHChrist, Oct 29 2017
  

       I HAVE FOUND MY VOICE! Fi GA RO FI GA RO. I AN TGE FRITI BANDITO. The butt toothbrush bandit. Putting your toothbrush in my butt and taking picture in your iPhone si you can find them after your vacation during which you have been using that toothbrush. Brush up cocky doody. I want to introduce you to my intestinal flora. Gently. Get used to them, you are going to have a nice long family together.
JesusHChrist, Oct 29 2017
  

       And when I finally sing I want it to be form the gut, and that means an organized coalition of intestinal flora, including all, from which we may launch a coordinated platform to raze the world of violence with one long note.
JesusHChrist, Oct 29 2017
  

       You don’t need no ticket you just THANK THE GOURD. Gratitude Vioce. You can do it. The little engineer that could. Chuff chuff chuff.
JesusHChrist, Oct 29 2017
  

       You’re welcome.
JesusHChrist, Oct 29 2017
  

       Accept my signature into your soul. I’m getting pretty good at this. It’s s flourish, like the Zorro Z. Plan Z. That cannot possibly fail.
JesusHChrist, Oct 29 2017
  

       Halloween is the anti anti Christmas and no one has asked me what I’m going to be Voice. Here’s your opportunity.
JesusHChrist, Oct 29 2017
  

       Nobody loves me. It’s raining here. Crows squeaking over the crucified souls of the damned. Lonely down here.
JesusHChrist, Oct 29 2017
  

       Raze me up dear Voice, as your sickle of opportunity, bringing peace and understanding and live to all mankind, even the fags and their AIDS and their monkey brothers and sisters, and the rocks too and the subatomic particles and even then eventually, after much hilarity and shenanigans, here to the halfbakery such that there might be peace among the shitheadery and among the bleak heart of your identity crisis. With hot Asian prostitutes and flowers for all.
JesusHChrist, Oct 29 2017
  

       Am I talking big too much Voice because if I am just give me a wink and I’ll shut up. I want to have open lines of communication with you.
JesusHChrist, Oct 29 2017
  

       Pootie comes in little ni ni. Just makin room for ya. Got a big load for the basements of Annacostia and then you can put it in me. Takin a constitutional lover man. Makiiiiiiin room. Ah yeah, it’s like a golden banana squirting out of the marriage between a neutron star and a black hole. And it’s exactly in the twisted and gnarled morphology of your little ni ni misquto labido. Love me long time.
JesusHChrist, Oct 29 2017
  

       Nods as good as a wink to a blind bat lover man.
JesusHChrist, Oct 29 2017
  

       Need you in me.
JesusHChrist, Oct 29 2017
  

       Struck a nerve, did I? Well I shall not apologize. This whole idea is worthy of no response more thoughtful than what I've already said.
Voice, Oct 29 2017
  

       Thank you for your voice voice voice. I will sing your praises far and wide, and your children will bear many generations upon the land until I smite them for no other reason than that I am bored of playing my electric guord. But all’s fair in love and war so. Sayonara. .
JesusHChrist, Oct 29 2017
  

       Dora... right here on the floor-a.
JesusHChrist, Oct 29 2017
  

       [JHC] this is not meant solely as a snarky comment, but you need medical assistance.
MaxwellBuchanan, Oct 29 2017
  

       I’ll tell you what, voice, you be my shofar, as in Joshua fit the battle of Jericho, and I will arrange for Donald Trump to finance a month long Tahitian reality television show dedicated to s reunion celebration of Thr Ricky Horrir Oucture Shiw where I play Dr Frank N Furter and I am like doing people and Donald is Brad and you may be the shofar that Donald Trump shall blow when I introduce into his Duodenum, a gourd that is gnarled and warty, grotesque in its overdevelopment and greased with the finest opiated hashiesh, mhyrr and lsd lemon spritzer puffs. You may be the Voice if the opening of the kingdom of heaven Voice, or you may wallow there in your slough of self satisfied cubicle working compromise and oink your counseling talk and your self help and your drawing the line adultisns and you may include some helps and some dim awning realizations as you go beneath the burbeking stew, or you may come follow me and become a fisher of men, big strong hard wet deep hot Asian men, with tiny little ni ni boners for with to hack into your otherwise excellent security system which is not unlike the system that a duck might employ in order not to sink as he was floating on the water with his anus beaneath the surface of the water.
JesusHChrist, Oct 29 2017
  

       The rivers of Babylon, Voice. I lay thee down, like Heilue Adelaide, Whike we remember Zion.
JesusHChrist, Oct 29 2017
  

       MB I am the Doctor of Love. I’ve got the cure you’re thinking of. And even though I’m full of sin, in the end you’ll let me in. You’ll let me through there’s nothing you can do. You need my love and dont you know it’s true. So love me please get on your knees, there are no bills there are no fees baby I know what your problem is, the first step if the cure is... a kiss!
JesusHChrist, Oct 29 2017
  

       Just kidding MB I wouldn’t fuck you with a 10 foot pole made of fire and brimstone even if it would erase your existence for ever after the moment it entered your saggy old pedantic anus, because I am that Unattracted to you. Couldn’t bring myself to kill you because I’m too digusted to bring myself to focus on you long enough to aim Jimmeny Cricket. Just not worth a spare second to poop on, not worth a damn, literally. You are free to go.
JesusHChrist, Oct 30 2017
  

       Medical attention, you really take the cake Chester. Accept this gourdoscope which I call “the Donald Trump” because it is big and warty and gnarled enough to start the rapture when I insert it into his anus, take this gourdscycle and suck some of the shit off of it because that is the shit of your mother and your daughter and your wife and they weren’t so great I think I don’t remember but if you suck it now there will be more of their remains on me percentage wise than if you were to suck it next Tuesday by which time there will be a more complex arrangement of female relative remains on my Gourd so come and get it and can you put a veil over your face while you are up, Punjab?
JesusHChrist, Oct 30 2017
  

       Hop to Punjab! Wiki Wiki Wiki Wiki!
JesusHChrist, Oct 30 2017
  

       Medical attention, JesusHChrist. I will be a monkeys uncle. No wait, you actually said medical assistance which means you know what you are talking about and you know the law and also that you are on the wrong side. But the Cowboys beat the redskins here last Knight kimosabe, and on a steel horse I ride. I walk these streets, a loaded six string on my back and I play for keeps cause I might not make it back. I’m a cowboy on a steel horse I ride. And I’m wanted dead or alive.
JesusHChrist, Oct 30 2017
  

       I want you to look at my RayBans, King George the second, as you suckle my gourdsycle, and imagine what it means to be a cowboy, to always have to play for keeps, because you never know whether you might not make it back, it’s a lot of responsibility that you lazyboy recliner jockeys might not totally understand how deeply a real American cowboy who smokes Narlboro cigarettes and sips lemon Coke’s and eats neck wafers at the corner store but always has to keep a thirty odd six pointed directly at the back of the head of his current ride, because they are you know having problems with their boss or their daughter wants to transfer to pastry cooking school which is more expensive than the accounting program she is leaving, you know that kind of shit, which rains on my parade because I can feel it in your mouth. You are not sucking my gourd well because of your petty concerns. So suck well kimosabe. The Lone Ranger stands tall and white above you Punjab. Wiki wiki. Mop up. Stiff upper lip. Roland. Georgie Porgie. Puddin n pie. Let me lick a lotta Louis off your lower lip Larry. Look at me in the Raybands negro. I’m a cowboy, and on a steel horse I ride, after your closest female relative. Because I’m wanted, negro, dead or alive.
JesusHChrist, Oct 30 2017
  

       You’re going to need medical assistance if you don’t swallow just the way I like it. And don’t blink when I flick my ash in your eyes. You have a moustach made of my spunk and your closet female relatives iridescence. And I don’t want you to shut your blue albino eyes because they look like pretty gold to me and I lahk uht a laht.
JesusHChrist, Oct 30 2017
  

       Into the RayBands Jethro. Smile.
JesusHChrist, Oct 30 2017
  

       This is way better than the usual Lorem Ipsum generators.
MaxwellBuchanan, Oct 30 2017
  

       It's reached the length where I expect it to morph into a [Vernon] nuclear fusion idea. Once we spot a priapic palladium lattice, we'll know we've arrived. Or perhaps a fuckatokamak; that has a ring to it.
pertinax, Oct 30 2017
  

       I'm not sure if it's wise to use the word "ring" around [JHC] at the moment.   

       [JHC] I may have missed this in my careful reading of your annotations, but are you a black guy who hates whites, or a white guy who hates blacks? Or just somewhere in the middle?
MaxwellBuchanan, Oct 30 2017
  

       My theory is that he's running with Norman Mailer's idea of using race as a sort of proxy for cool vs. uncool.
pertinax, Nov 01 2017
  

       He's gone very quiet. I hope he's OK.
pertinax, Nov 03 2017
  
      
[annotate]
  


 

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