Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Wind-up anno

Fertiliser for delusions of grandeur
  [vote for,

Fake Pentagon/MIT/AREA51 summons letter to half bakers of a certain disposition who are having a moment of mania and losing insight, think they have made something stupendous. Eg. free energy/cured cancer / superluminal hat/ perpetual orgasm machine using only ordinary domestic items..

Admit it, who hasn’t once secretly thought they were really on to ‘something’. Now it’s just a case of waiting by the phone/ the email/ looking out for airforce 1/ the queen and Prince Harry to land in the back garden and take you away from all this to some nirvana where Asian babes really do want to meet you. This may even have happened to me.. not the helicopter, or the babes, the mania. I am prone to it, and boy do the delusions of grandeur feel good. Then you wake up the next week and discover your answer to the “meaning of everything” was the square root of blue cheese.

This anno would be like a sarcastic comment to either a) help bring you to your senses sooner, or more likely b) gently nurture the madness ( sarcasm doesn’t work on young children and the insane)

For example :

“I think you may have something significant here - please contact me as a matter of urgency. Your country needs you. Yours, Lieutenant General Cybo. RG. PhD, DPhil defib.N’uff SED.V.c. Ps your family has been put in protective custody. all happy watching tv. please do not discuss this matter with anyone. Halfbakery as a web site has been reassigned under military security order no 235 and its contents conscripted. do not attempt to contact anyone or leave the house. “

Later you will get the joke

Of course one day you may really surpass yourself. Then when the men in uniforms come in a helicopter to take you to AREA51 research facility, you will probably laugh in their faces and rip open their uniforms, looking for the stripogram. Which is a good thing too.

DDRopDeadly, Mar 16 2018


       What? Hasn't this happened to you already? All the rest of us are sitting in various luxurious Government safe-houses already.
hippo, Mar 16 2018

       Well ... some of us are lying down.
pertinax, Mar 16 2018

       Ok, they’re going to have to kill you both now, probably with nerve agents or even suffocation by babes sat on your faces.
DDRopDeadly, Mar 16 2018

       The symptoms are probably similar
DDRopDeadly, Mar 16 2018

       Yes, but "victims" don't pay out thick handfuls of folding money to die from acetylcholinesterase inhibiting toxins, whereas ....   

       // boy do the delusions of grandeur feel good. //   

       They certainly do, except in our case, thankfully, they're not delusions.
8th of 7, Mar 16 2018

       All of us are in the gutter - some of us are looking at the stars.
normzone, Mar 16 2018

       Stairs, not stars.   

       The fire escape treads have little holes in them for drainage ... it's just the street lights shining through.   

       You can't see the stars because of the thick overcast and the pollution haze.
8th of 7, Mar 16 2018

       I was expecting something more steampunk.   

       //Admit it, who hasn’t once secretly thought they were really on to ‘something’.//   

       It's no secret...   

       // who hasn’t once secretly thought they were really on to ‘something’. //   

       We have frequently thought that some* hb contributors are "on something", but not necessarily "on to something".   

       In fact, quite the reverse - "on a hiding to nothing" just about describes it.   

       *Apart from the obvious ones like [IT] and [beanangel] who are clearly just badly-written AI bots created by bored, marginally-competent pre-teen programmers.
8th of 7, Mar 16 2018

       Ecclesiastes, or Eccles?
pertinax, Mar 17 2018

       My arse! No, you’re right, that funnels wind in t’other direction
DDRopDeadly, Mar 17 2018

       //something more steampunk// Like in the paper version of halfbakery in that other, papery dimension, where the halfbakery conductor winds a little knob on side of his anno dispenser - that kind of thing ?
DDRopDeadly, Mar 17 2018

       Yes, and then we roll up the scraps of paper and insert them into a brass capsule which we pop into the vacuum tube for delivery.   


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