Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
h a l f b a k e r y
The mutter of invention.

idea: add, search, annotate, link, view, overview, recent, by name, random

meta: news, help, about, links, report a problem

account: browse anonymously, or get an account and write.



The FrontMan™

Because every business man needs a good scapegoat!
  (+7, -4)
(+7, -4)
  [vote for,

Anyone who is in business or has been in business knows that sometimes you find yourself in a difficult position where you are confronted by a client that you have to say "NO" to even though you want to avoid it. Sometimes you make a mistake that is your fault even though you could not avoid it. You cringe as you consider the possibility of putting stress on the relationship because even though you HAVE to say NO you don't want to be the one thats hated! The solution?

The FrontMan™ (music goes, "dun-da-daaa") That's right! When you do not have the courage to face one of your more important clients with bad news you can simply blame it on the FrontMan™. He is the ultimate scapegoat designed to play the role as the "real" owner of your company. So if you have a tenant who cannot pay his rent on time and begs you not to evict him, just tell him, "Hey, Mr. Deadbeat, I know that you are a great guy and all.. and I am sure that you are good for the money but my hands are tied.. Mr. Kawalski is not in a very good mood today..." Whew! That was close. You were able to remain the good guy while you shifted the blame.

Mr. Kawalski will visit your place of business 4 times a month for a nominal monthly fee. He will pretend to be the CEO of your corporation so when you have tell the employees that they can't get a raise, blame it on Mr. Kawalski.. otherwise known as "The FrontMan™" (dun-da-daaaa!!! where is that music coming from?) and even when you want to really look good in front of your employees, you can say, "Ok...(sigh) ... I was really raked over the coals and Mr. Kawaski is HIGHLY pissed off over this but I was able to fight for you guys and get you that raise!" and the whole office cheers and throws you a spontaneous party in your honor! Of course you planned on giving everyone a raise but you just didn't want to give it up too easily.

I do this in my own business sometimes.. and my employees just love me for it. The other day one of my guys said, "Mr. Scotty, you are allright with me. Its that doggone Kawaski.. he acts like he has a cactus in his butt crack!" And I respond by saying, "Yeah.. he has me on my final warning right now.. I am reluctant to ask him for anything else.

Jscotty, Sep 01 2006

Please log in.
If you're not logged in, you can see what this page looks like, but you will not be able to add anything.


       Sounds good to me scotty.... but don't let Mr. Kawaski... Kawalski... Well, don't let your boss know I gave you this bun. But it's no wonder he's pissed at you if you can't remeber his name.
ye_river_xiv, Sep 01 2006

       great idea. definitely deserves to be baked. [+]
arvin, Sep 02 2006

       I admit. I voted against. This is exactly the culture of the workplace that helped me decide to leave it.   

       My co-workers are still assholes now, but yellow tape measure on the corner of the desk & evil fax machine can all be threatened with replacement. (thanks brist, too much belatedly for convincing me that I could do it.)   

       I feel it neccessary to say, that my online collaborators are not in the subset of my tape measure or fax machine. I seriously doubt that either of you will read this, but anyway..
Zimmy, Sep 02 2006

       I must say, much as it sometimes might present itself as a convenient way to escape responsibility, using this technique would scare off customers, partners and investors. how?   

       well, let's see:   

       1) customers really, really detest being treated like jackasses, and will go to some length to avoid suppliers that treat them like jackasses. your competition would take your market share simply by going negative advertisement on your ass.   

       2) partners will not consider buying a company in which it is customary to escape responsibility. think about it: if you wanted to make your life's work, would you do it with a company that sports an imaginary CEO, just so emploees can avoid some customer relation?   

       3) investors will listen to you, for laughs. they want to hear a vibrant idea, not ways you will avoid doing the work. "Mr. Venture Capitalist, we intend to lead the market with this new product. Mr. Kowalski will tell you all about it. Don't ask him any questions, we just hired him today to do the speach. You see, we hate presentations, they make us uncomfortable"
Zus, Sep 16 2006

       Lame tactics for lame leaders.
normzone, Sep 16 2006

       Montgomery Canary Burns
jellydoughnut, Sep 16 2006


back: main index

business  computer  culture  fashion  food  halfbakery  home  other  product  public  science  sport  vehicle