Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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The Fun Free Zone Diet

Sick and tired of faddy diets...?
  [vote for,

I have been a strong supporter of this diet for many years, despite not being on it myself.

The Fun Free Zone Diet makes the Watermelon Diet (favoured by Phyllis Diller and Liberace) look positively unhealthy.

It works like this:

There are five basic food groups to mix and match from: Quark (a cheese like substance) Quorn (a mould grown in a laboratory in North England) Whey (that gunk left over from cheese) Soya (a staple favourite) Carob (dog chocolate)

You may have the choice of one vegetable from this list:

Sprouts Swede Cabbage

The real beauty of this diet is that you can render any of your favourite food items out of the above five food groups. For example, if you want to eat chicken stroganoff, all you do is to get some soya and make it into chicken shapes and pour over some whey. Bake in the oven for four hours. For dessert, you could try our Carob Surprise, which is carob melted over some Quorn.

I have produced a recipe book for adherents to the diet and have not received any complaints as yet. There was an incident where some silly vegetarian tried to introduce another vegetable into the diet, but after a rectal prolapse and complications with a tampon, she learned her lesson.

I don't know about you, but the faddishness of some of the diets out there beggar description. The FFZ diet is simple to follow, tasty, and results in alarming weight loss and liver failure. Besides, none of our little animal friends is harmed by it, which must be good.

Ideal for fatties, veggies, and people who have a warped relationship with food.

algoyo, Apr 14 2004


       What's your point? The "watermelon diet" looks unhealthy to begin with. Yes, weird diets exist. You've described another one.
jutta, Apr 14 2004

       He's sick and tired of faddy diets, I guess, and wants to reduce them to absurdity. I say he's a troll.
DrCurry, Apr 14 2004

RayfordSteele, Apr 14 2004

       Are you all suffering from sense of humour bypasses?
algoyo, Apr 21 2004

       Maybe it was only funny the first time.
st3f, Apr 21 2004

       It's nice to know the art of projection isn't dead. Anyway, I just made it up. You'd shit out your own bowels if you were to try it.
algoyo, Apr 21 2004


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