Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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The Hip Flask Dipstick.

Know when you need a top up!
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I’m at work (where most of my halfbaking normally happens) sitting in my cubicle eating my lunch while trying to look busy and when no one is looking decide to take a swig from my hip flask, When I do I’m horrified to discover it was empty!

I immediately jump up, grab my coat and run to my bosses office, pushing all of my co-workers out of the way and state that I had to go to the hospital for a "shot" after about a quarter of an hour I manage to get a couple of hours to get out of work.

I run out of work and jump in my car (dukes of hazard style) and race off to the nearest Tescos, almost running over some chavlings along the way. (Who rightly screamed "twat!" at me as I raced off to get some whisky)

I manage to get there and purchase my booze, get back to my car and fill up my flask, and started to think why I didn’t fill it up yesterday, when it hit me, I just didn’t know.

45 minutes later I had created the worlds ever first hip flask dipstick and holder on the side of my flask, using a couple of cable ties, a smarties tube, small cork and the straw from a can of WD40, I strapped the smarties tube to the flask and worked the straw all the way through the cork, (witch fits snugly in the smarties tube) to use I put the straw in to my flask trap the air with my thumb and lift it out!

After I had created my creation I went back to work and had to tell some one, "Hummmm... Where could I post something like this..."

Loma, Sep 23 2005

[link]






       Why stop there? How about a wireless setup that shows flask level on your desktop?
normzone, Sep 23 2005
  

       i think you might be an alcoholic
schmendrick, Sep 23 2005
  

       Added bonus - you can drink your whisky through a straw...   

       Did you *really* do this?
wagster, Sep 23 2005
  

       Quick Hip Dipstick
hidden truths, Sep 23 2005
  

       God grant me the serenity... to bun this idea!
daseva, Sep 23 2005
  

       I'd sack this guy!
po, Sep 23 2005
  

       Hi, my name is [moomintroll] and I've met an alcoholic.   

       Hang on... //the straw from a can of WD40// woah, fella, that's strong stuff!
moomintroll, Sep 23 2005
  

       [Loma] - I read your profile page and I beg you, please don't post an idea a day. If you try you'll just post a lot of crap when you can't think of anything and we'll have to read it and you'll get fishbones. Spend the same amount of time each day thinking up your ideas, but mature them until they're ready. Then you'll get croissants.
wagster, Sep 23 2005
  

       The title sounds like a dance move. I may go try it out tonight -   

       them: <what the hell are you doing?>   

       me: <the latest dance craze, of course. It's the hipflask dipstick!>
sleeka, Sep 23 2005
  

       I'm in awe. but ... [Loma], what gall to keep you waiting 15 minutes!
Is it a wonder that many a chavling grows to fear the boss?
reensure, Sep 24 2005
  

       Speaking of the amusement of others, I propose these new regulations to the HB:   

       To everyone of the use, Laundromat. Many people use a Laundromat. Let's comply with the next item to use it for the cleanness safety. 1. Let's read the explanation of the way of using it well, and use the washing machine, the dryness machine properly. 2. Let's wash a hand well before and after a wash. 3. Don't wash the person who get's an epidemic, and clothes which contacted with the person. 4. Don't wash a diaper which urine stuck to, sports shoes, an animal's rug because an unpleasantness is given to the person handled later and it is un-sanitation. 5. Let's bring it back after you spread the wash from the dryness machine and a state is done. 6. Please ask a satellite control person in charge for the inquiry about the establishment, the contact of in case of emergency.   

       <from instructions on the wall of the laundry room in a hotel in Tokyo>
sleeka, Sep 24 2005
  

       //Actually, I try to come up with one idea each day// You see? Look at [Pa've]'s account and see how much good it does you trying think up a cool idea every day. It's not that [Pa've] doesn't have some very good ideas, it's just that if he doesn't have a good one he'll post a rubbish one instead of nothing at all. Apologies for referring to you in the third person [Pa've], rather rude I know.
wagster, Sep 24 2005
  

       //I have a friend who lives in Japan, he is from America, and speaks both American and Japanese. Notice I did not say he speaks English, because he is not from England.// He is not from Japan and therefore does not speak Japanese.
fridge duck, Sep 24 2005
  

       [scout], you're back! probably for ages too, but I've only just noticed. Good to see you again.   

       //because he is not from England// no, but the language is. Spelling notwithstanding.
moomintroll, Sep 25 2005
  
      
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