Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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The Italian Job

Well, why not ?
(+2, -2)
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There are good prospects that before long, England may be freed from the millstone-like burden of Bonnie Scotchland and its infestation of parasitic inebriated mendicants.

Hadrian's wall was originally constructed by the Romans, predecessors of the Italians, with the assistance of locally-recruited labour.

Italian unemployment levels are high.

So, on the basis that they probably still have the plans somewhere, contract with the Italians to rebuild, maintain and man Hadrian's wall.

This will have numerous advantages.

- England will be protected to a certain extent from a further influx of undesireables from North of the border.

- Large numbers of Italians will be given meaningful employment (for the first time since 425AD)

- Any Italians that make it home, having endured a posting to the border, will realise that they are well off, and never complain about anything again.

- When hiking across the line of the wall, there will always be somewhere to stop for a pizza and some icecream.

8th of 7, Feb 20 2014

Prince William, Duke of Cumberland http://en.wikipedia..._Duke_of_Cumberland
Widely known as "Butcher" Cumberland ... [8th of 7, Feb 21 2014]

ice cream http://en.wikipedia...i/Italian_ice-cream
Gelato, immigration flavored [popbottle, Feb 24 2014]


       I hate to say this, but I think the Welsh border is probably more of a priority, by a whisker.
MaxwellBuchanan, Feb 20 2014

       Check out the category. This is about immigration, not pest control.
8th of 7, Feb 20 2014

       It is a common misconception that Hadrian's wall marks the boundary between England and Scotland. This is not the case; Hadrian's wall lies entirely within England, and south of the border with Scotland by less than one kilometre in the west at Bowness-on- Solway, and 110 kilometres (68 mi) in the east.   

       Source: Wikipedia.   

       There is, however, another wall further north, which is shorter.
Ling, Feb 21 2014

       Pfft. Their bizarrely unintelligible accent notwithstanding, Scotland is one of the best things about the UK. They've given the world doctors, economists, and the best damn whisky in the world, bar none. Frankly, you cocky Englishers should consider yourselves lucky that the Scots don't decide they've had enough of your crap, invade your country, and cut off the head of your precious queen just for sport.
ytk, Feb 21 2014

       Of course, the Italians will need access to large amounts of rock to do the job.   

       Wales is made mostly of rock.   

       Two birds, one stone.
MaxwellBuchanan, Feb 21 2014

       // invade your country, and cut off the head of your precious queen just for sport. //   

       Right. Well, they tried that one in 1745; didn't end well for them.   

       Interestingly, one of the Queen's grandchild is also called William... prophetic, or what ?   

8th of 7, Feb 21 2014

       //There is, however, another wall further north, which is shorter.//   

       However, the Antonine/Severan wall is north of both Glasgow and Edinburgh, which I suspect rather defeats the point of protecting the Scots from unruly Brits.
MechE, Feb 21 2014

       Back to the Welsh problem for a moment.   

       It strikes me that we are doing the geography all wrong here - we've got Wales on the left and Scotland on the top, giving us two borders to defend.   

       As a first step, I suggest that we lift Scotland up and swing Wales up-and-right, pivoting it around Machynlleth, into the gap.   

       The Scots will then have to get through Wales in order to get to us, which should slow them down. The Welsh, meanwhile, being subterranean by nature, will probably not be aware of the new geography and will just keep tunnelling eastwards until they pop out into the North Sea.
MaxwellBuchanan, Feb 21 2014

       / When hiking across the line of the wall, there will always be somewhere to stop for a pizza and some ice cream. /   

       This I understand, the rest no.
popbottle, Feb 24 2014

       Irish whiskey is basically just Scotch without the peat flavor, which is a bit like having sex without an orgasm.
ytk, Feb 24 2014

       Which makes the 16yo Lagavullin well, eh, what does it make the 16yo Lagavullin? Best not to think to much about this. I'll be on my way, then.
calum, Feb 24 2014

       //which is a bit like having sex without an orgasm//

What, all too familiar you mean?
DrBob, Mar 03 2014


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