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The Pangs Of Aphasia

Victorian novel where all the female characters are named after medical conditions and procedures.
  (+34, -3)(+34, -3)(+34, -3)
(+34, -3)
  [vote for,

Some suggested lines:

"Awake, Anasthaesia dearest, Awake!"

"I am afraid Listeria is feeling a little unwell after lunch, and has retired, Mr Bulstrode."

`Captain Danvers fell to his knees: "But Myopia! Can you not see what you mean to me!"'

Septicaemia's blood ran hot when Sturgess appeared at the gate.

Mickey the Fish, Sep 12 2000

Charlie and the Chocolate Factory http://www.amazon.c...026-3121374-9746018
As we will all remember from our childhoods, there is a character in this book called Verruca Salt. [hippo, Sep 12 2000, last modified Oct 21 2004]

Mrs Malaprop http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Malapropism
Curriculum Vitriol [reensure, Sep 12 2000, last modified Jan 20 2007]

Hercules Returns http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0107103/
Movie where all of the greek characters have medical names [tenhand, Sep 12 2000, last modified Oct 21 2004]

The official Asterix site (in French) http://www..asterix.tm.fr/
A world full of people whose names are puns. [DrBob, Sep 12 2000, last modified Oct 21 2004]

Angels & Insects http://www.amazon.c...103-7332452-1198245
A Victorian story where all the female characters are (essentially) insects: Bees, Ants, Butterflies, etc. [slacy, Feb 10 2002, last modified Oct 21 2004]

Aptronym http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Aptronym
The technical name for this technique [csea, Oct 02 2006]


       Chlamydia longed to become part of him, to spread through him like an infection, an inflammation, if you will, of the pelvis and reproductive organs which, if left untreated, could cause infertility.
mrthingy, Sep 12 2000

       Sadly for Chlamydia, Gonnorrhoea had got to him first. Her unrequited love forced her to turn for comfort and solace to Colonel Syphilis, an untrustworthy cad of the first order. (thought we should even it out between the sexes!)
frances, Sep 12 2000

       Emphysema coughed politely...
hippo, Sep 13 2000

       "I seem to have forgotten the point of this entry," mused Lady Amnesia.
DrBob, Sep 13 2000

       Emphysema's poor working-class cousin Silicosis coughed politely too.
hippo, Sep 13 2000

       Lord Touchnott, bursting with good cheer, brought a bustling energy into the household that had not been the same since Anorexia had succumbed to the cruel wasting disease that had bedevilled her.   

       The sudden appearance of the good Lord Touchnott, hale and hearty after his long sea voyage, took Asphyxia's breath away. "My Lord," she asked with the best manners and self-possession she could muster, "how did you find the Caribbean?"   

       "I took a left turn at the Azores," said Lord Touchnott, displaying wit if not geographical certitude, for while the jolly lord was always willing to buck up the spirits of any of his nieces, he was too caught up in private worry over the inexplicable (to him) moodiness of his own daughter Dysmenorrhea to pay full attention.
Uncle Nutsy, Sep 13 2000

       "Urethra!!!", cried Labia, "though there is a vas deferens between the male and female species, we have managed to overcome."   

       Mammary popped up and uddered, "I need to get this off my chest. If ever you thought we had a chance with the men, urine big trouble. If there were any chances, you rectum. You consider yourself a cunning linguist but all you succeed in doing is pissing people off!"
IBBen, Sep 14 2000, last modified Sep 15 2000

       "Cirrhosis my dear, I think you have had a wee bit much to drink for one night..."
Alcin, Sep 19 2000

       My penile warts your herpes, My syphilitic sores, Your moenelial infection, How I miss you more and more. Your dhobi's itch, my scrumpox, Our lovely gonorrhoea, At least we were both lying when we said that we were clear. Our syphilitic kisses sealed the secret of our tryst. You gave me scrotal pustules with a quick flick of your wrist. Your trachovaginitis sent shivers down my spine. I got snail tracks in my anus when your spirochaetes met mine. Eric Idle & Graham Chapman KGB Music 1980
thumbwax, Sep 19 2000

       Has society really come to the point where when we think of diseases half the time we think of STDs? oh-well.
salmon, Dec 15 2000

       After the proposal Hernia felt that her heart must be visibly protruding from her chest it was beating so hard. The thought that she, an orphaned parson's daughter from the shire of Milton Keynes, might be in the position as to become wife to such an august and dashing gent as Sir Vical Smear would have been ludicrous not three months prior. And yet here she was.   

       But, Oh! What about her sisters! She promised herself that, no matter that this might be her one chance to make such a propitious match, she would turn down the proposal unless her new husband would consent to ensure that no harm befall Katatonia and Renalfalia.
mark_t, Feb 05 2001

       "Rubella! Come here!" cried Hyperthermia warmly, "Now, I here you've been a little rash. What's this about you and Major Surgery?" "But Mama, he was so handsome in his uniform!I couldn't help myself - I was all over him before I knew it". At that moment, Postule suddenly burst into the room. "Mama, it's Sam'n'Ella, they've both been sick in the hall!" "Nasty little bugs" replied Varicella, "a pox on both of them!"
goff, Feb 06 2001

       Done in reverse in Russell Hoban's "Kleinzeit," a hospital tale where all the diseases and body parts are borrowed from other fields of knowledge:
"I'm not worried about your diapason. That sort of dissonance is quite a common thing, and with any luck we'll clear it up fairly soon. The hypotenuse of course is definitely skewed, but not enough to account for a 12 percent polarity ... On the other hand, the X-rays indicate that your asymptotes may be going hyperbolic."
hob, Jul 18 2002

       But Doctor, I was implying the question, "Would I live?" Not, "Would you kill me with nitrous oxide?!"
hollajam, Oct 13 2002

       Of course, such a novel would have to feature an evil doppleganger who keeps imitating all the female maladies and thus discrediting their veracity and sincerity as characters. Her name? "Hysteria".
codesushi, Oct 13 2002

       Hypochondria, shirley?
st3f, Oct 14 2002

       "women's suffrage? never my dear Munchausen, only by proxy!"
po, Oct 14 2002

       I augment that!
hollajam, Oct 14 2002

       "Orgmentia, is that you? I hear you call - here have a tissue"
po, Oct 14 2002

       Scarlet Fever kissed his hand rashly, but Bronze John felt a headache coming on.
FarmerJohn, Oct 14 2002

       //Augment' is a disease?//   

       ...and this septic story's topic is...?!
hollajam, Oct 15 2002

       In the lovely Ebola's embrace, his insides seemed to melt... He was like putty in her hands.
X2Entendre, Dec 28 2002

       Y'know, my Auntie Diluvian used to tell me stories of what it was like before the flood...
jacksheet, Feb 08 2004

       Have you met my Welsh-Irish uncle, Di o'Rhea?
MaxwellBuchanan, Feb 07 2008

       lowering the tone again!
po, Feb 07 2008

       You've met Tone too, then?
MaxwellBuchanan, Feb 07 2008

       I was about to post a link to the movie site for Hercules Returns, an awesome aussie film where all the greek characters are either named after diseases or body parts. But [tenhand] beat me by about 6 1/2 years.   

       Sadly, this is fairly well baked.
Custardguts, Feb 07 2008

       Somehow I can't find the right words to describe this idea.
pertinax, Feb 08 2008

       Ben Bova did this about ten years ago.   

       Or maybe I'm drunl.
nomocrow, Feb 08 2008

       "Hi, Sepp. I'd like you to meet my handsome Anglo-Franco-Spanish sports coach, Dennis el Beau. He's a big fan of Urethra Franklin."
MaxwellBuchanan, Feb 08 2008

       (Further details will be found in the appendix.)
MaxwellBuchanan, Feb 09 2008

       You had me at the subtitle [+] :)
simonj, Mar 11 2009


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