Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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The Pun Generator

For all Instant pun fun!
  [vote for,

This idea is a small, pocket sized dictionary based output device. The device has three basic functions. The first function is simply a definition based function, just type in a word and the device will list all the possible definitions. This basic thesaurus idea will allow budding, yet foolish journalists to allow their imagination to create the pun.

The second function would list the chosen word in a possible sentence with the word either in or out of context.

The third major function is the one that will break down the word into the phonemes and use the syllabic sound for each of these phonemes and find a word with a similar syllabic sound. So, for example, take the word 'Beckham' which can be broken down into 'Beck' and 'ham'. The pun generator would take the word 'beck' and find similar mono-syllabic sounding words or phonemes eg. deck. Which when put in the word would create David Deckham for use with a relevant story eg. The boot throwing by Alex Ferguson. This would not only increase the quality of newspapers, but would theoretically help newspapers everywhere as the comedic value of each headline would double instantly.

Take 'The Sun', as they mainly use pun related headlines such as 'Im a liability, get me out of here!'. This would eliminate the need for useless freelancer journalists whose only use is to create these headlines, yet they cost a lot of money to hire. The money saved by newspapers by not having to hire these parasitic freelancers could be used by cutting the cost of the newspaper. For example, if 10p was cut off daily, then 70p a week and £36.40 a year would be saved!! This money could be put towards more useful purchases, such as healthier food for children, helping them grow into world-class atheletes.

Liam The Baker, May 22 2003

The sun http://www.thesun.co.uk
Pun-based newspaper fun for all! [Liam The Baker, Oct 05 2004]

Lexical Free Net http://www.lexfn.com/
Sort of baked: it will find words that sound similar to an input word (as well as rhymes, synonyms and loads more). [kropotkin, Oct 05 2004]


       ANYTHING that could lead to tabloid sacking gets my vote!
Seaneeboy, May 22 2003

       Hm. Much headline punnery is hopelessly workaday and these instances could feasibly be generated by this machine but I'd be reluctant to do away with the human element when the human element can come up with puns such as the one The Sun ran when footballing minnows Inverness Caley Thistle beat relative giants Celtic in the cup a few years ago:   

       "Super Caley Go Ballistic, Celtic Are Atrocious."
my face your, May 22 2003

       Remember, it was The Sun that ran the headline "Gotcha!" when the Belgrano was sunk. A Marxist rag had the same headline when the IRA blew up the Tories at the Brighton hotel.   

       I like the idea, but, like [mfy], wonder if this device could better the sometimes deliciously human puns.
saker, May 22 2003

       My favorite headline was from the same war, but not a pun: Time with its "The Empire Strikes Back!" over a picture of the British fleet under weigh.
DrCurry, May 22 2003

       There are already computer programs that do this (only on supercomputers, though).
However, they still need a Funniness Evaluator function, since currently that is done by humans. Maybe you could invent that.
phundug, May 22 2003

       We did a computerized humor thing a couple of months ago and all heck broke loose.
snarfyguy, May 22 2003

       Hm. Punishing.
bristolz, May 22 2003

       Ron Hardin of Bell Labs wrote a program to automatically generate puns. User input helped it choose between alternatives. Its best work was the following:   


       Better buy perfect Topeka beagle buffers.
Topeka beagle buffers sputter fiber beaks.
Effeter fiber beaks abetted feeble puppies.
Worse Topeka beagle papers feature viper-pique.

       It required a lot of human guidance to produce that one. With only a little human intervention, it did the famous "Tweeze denied beef worker isthmus" (a google search will find it.)   

       So, this is mostly baked.
td, May 22 2003

       [bliss] I remember the computerized humor thing, but I don't feel old...hmmm *pretending to stroke imaginary goatee*
igirl, May 22 2003

       td: I don't understand any of those. Is that your point, that this is really hard to do, and the results are bad?
snarfyguy, May 22 2003

       What is "Tweeze denied the..." ?
It looks like something to do with Christmas.

       "Twas the Night Before Christmas?" (GROAN!)
phundug, May 22 2003

       td, I love that. Hadn't seen it before. "Node azure! No Dunce era! No France urine fixing! Uncommit! And cubit! Andante ran vexing!"
waugsqueke, May 22 2003


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