Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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The murder of Elija2

Pseudo documentary
  [vote for,

A young movie director who binges on real-crime channels about disappeared people is exposed to the story of Elisha and Elija in the biblical book of Kings.

She reads about Elisha going to meet his master, on the way passing through three cities. In each city, a group of fifty "prophet children" meet him secretly and warn him that his master is about to end his life today. Elisha hushes them. Elija repeatedly requests that Elisha leave him alone, but he stubbornly continues to follow his master.

The two men leave Jericho and reach the Jordan River. Elija takes his wig off and hits the water with it, "parting" the waters so the two can cross over to the desert. A storm stirs up after Elisha asks to receive twice his master’s powers, and after a promise to Elisha by Elija, that if Elisha sees him go, his request will be granted.

The two walk into the fog with thunder and lightning flashes, and Elija is lost in the storm.

Elisha searches for him for a while but returns alone to Jericho, refusing the offer of a local professional search group to go back and look for him. Following a three-day search, they give up, with Elisha telling them: I told you so.

The young movie director is intrigued by the similarities with several similar disappearance stories and begins writing the synopsis for a historical documentary, teaming up with an Israeli archaeologist. The two begin to discover clues left in the locations described in the biblical story, and, as it turns out, they find people more than 2500 years later who have a tradition that they themselves do not understand about the murder of Elija.

As her research advances, she learns that both prophets were immersed in violence, including the murder of 500 priests of Baal, and the killing of 102 policemen sent to arrest Elija, while Elisha killed 52 boys using trained bears, and infected his personal aid with a skin illness when he didn’t like something that Gehazi did.

A married barren woman who seeks Elisha's help, (or perhaps Gehazi's help), gets pregnant shortly after meeting him and has a boy whose life he saves using artificial respiration and cardiopulmonary resuscitation.

Elisha was an inventor and a performing magician, learning from his master how to make fire from rain, and himself discovering how to turn poisonous water from the sulfurous water fountains near Jericho into healthful drinking water using minerals. He also learns how to use a similar formula to cause seven years of starvation. When the seven years are over the bad water in the fountains suddenly "returned" upon Elisha's request.

This section of the movie has references to the Manon de Source movie. It turns out that Elisha’s invention of the floating iron ship was part of the plot, but the movie ends with you wondering what Gehazi’s part was.

pashute, Apr 21 2023

Mime Abduction: https://www.youtube...watch?v=T9mNABMSTww
it could happen. [Sgt Teacup, Apr 21 2023]

I didn't make this up! https://www.infinit...ioned-in-the-bible/
But that doesn't mean it's true, either. [a1, Apr 21 2023]

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       I remember the leprosy that Gehazi suffered.   

       Leave a seat and wine empty for Elijah.
chronological, Apr 21 2023

       Elija wasn’t murdered, he was abducted by aliens. Like Brian Cohen, though that was an accident and they dropped him back off when they were done with him.
a1, Apr 21 2023

       //abducted by aliens// Or someone* may have put Elijah 'in a box that wasn't there' (see link).   

       *The Arrogant Worms report on this.
Sgt Teacup, Apr 21 2023

       Aliens and Mimes would overlap in the 'mostly hand signals and wiggly eyebrows*' centre of a Venn diagram, right?   

       *for a given value of eyebrow-like attachment
Sgt Teacup, Apr 21 2023

       Could someone explain what "I was abducted by a mime" about? Is this an actual old song or a parody on some known old song?   

       I was unaware of the fact that the idea of Elija being abducted by Aliens is an old idea and even has many mimes for it. So is the song being used as a funny saying about my idea. Sorry I don't get it. Even chat GPT chose to opt out and deny any knowledge rather than bsing me as usual. (In which case I know how to unbs it, and eventually get myself on track in the right direction).
pashute, Apr 24 2023

       // unaware the idea of Elija being abducted by Aliens is an old idea //   

       Oh, not just him. The bible has a lot of mysterious sightings in it that might be explained as alien encounters, even beyond the ones mentioned in that link.   

       Ezekiel's vision of the "wheel within a wheel" was always my favorite. The scene in Monty Python's Life of Brian is more fun but apocryphal.
a1, Apr 24 2023


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