Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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This Desk Sucks

Everything where you put it.
  (+7, -1)
(+7, -1)
  [vote for,
against]

A desk, fashioned from an air hockey table, with the fan reversed so the fan sucks air in through the pinholes, trapping paper on the desk.

A simple plenum chamber under the desk surface will prevent inconsistent pressures being generated directly over the fan.

No longer will pieces of paper flutter off my desk and hide between desk and wall.

UnaBubba, Jan 22 2013

Don't forget to install the emergency backup system... DocumNets
[normzone, Jan 23 2013]

How to build your own http://diysilkscree...m-table-poster.html
vacuum screen printing table [xenzag, Jan 23 2013]

[link]






       Who writes any more? I doubt I'd physically write more than 5% of the words I record and writing is a large part of what I do for a living.   

       Put a cutting mat or blotter over a few of the holes.
UnaBubba, Jan 22 2013
  

       Make the desktop out of a microporous material (fiberboard or sintered aluminum), it will pass enough air for a vacuum while still being to small for a pen/pencil (except maybe a really fine mechanical pencil) to penetrate.
MechE, Jan 23 2013
  

       That would work... I was going the recycling path, with an air hockey table.
UnaBubba, Jan 23 2013
  

       Now when a fly lands on your desk, it won't have chance of escaping before you swat it.
swimswim, Jan 23 2013
  

       Mwahahahahaha!
UnaBubba, Jan 23 2013
  

       //who writes anymore!// yeah what he said with a hint of shame on you "Planet Hater!" But [+] for using your noggin to control your earth carnage paper wasting.
Brian the Painter, Jan 23 2013
  

       Start with the air hockey table and lay a sheet of something on top of it, your new material is limited to a single sheet, which is completely recyclable at the desk's end of life if you go with the aluminum.
MechE, Jan 23 2013
  

       This has been used in silk screen-printing using a vacuum cleaner.
skinflaps, Jan 23 2013
  

       Hi, flaps, by the way, where's the uniboner? I like this, but I'm afraid it might interfere with my fake paper shuffle-ling routine that I go to on a daily basis. Wouldn't it make that a little harder to do, oh wise one Bubba?
blissmiss, Jan 23 2013
  

       I remember this one. Is this a resurrected classic from previous UB incarnations?
RayfordSteele, Jan 23 2013
  

       Yes. It's one I did in about 2004, I think.
UnaBubba, Jan 23 2013
  
      
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