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Throat muscles in ears

Put throat muscles in the auditory canal
(+3, -3)
  [vote for,

It’s summertime, and that means we have to put up with insects flying into our ears. The only way to get them out is to cough them out of your auditory canal using your recently installed ear-throat muscles.

A useful side effect of these muscles is that you can suck in sounds to make them louder, or close off the auditory canal and mute sound altogether.

spiritualized, Jun 25 2005

for Pa've. somehow I doubt that it is true. http://www.straight...bag/mspidereat.html
whilst working in the ENT dept in my youth, we had a man walk in one evening complaining of a mighty flapping in his ear. apparently while driving with his window open, a moth had flown in his ear. we coaxed it out with a slice of apple [po, Jun 26 2005]

Eight spiders. kaz, Feb 13 2002 Spider_20Early_20Warning_20System
Don't believe everything you read here. [angel, Jun 26 2005]

There are a lot of these buggers. http://www.xs4all.n...idae/Agelenidae.htm
Not for arachnafobes! [Susan, Jun 26 2005]

Optional. earlids
[angel, Jun 28 2005]

http://www.snopes.c...e/stats/spiders.htm 8 spiders a year [ferox, Jun 28 2005]


       While I've often had bugs fly into my mouth (whilst cycling), I have never, ever had an insect fly into my ear. You an elephant?
DrCurry, Jun 25 2005

       I want to know where you heard that. Until then I'll dismiss as apocryphal.   

       As Curry states, to my knowledge I have never had a bug in my ear.   

       The idea seems rather impossible. I like the thought of just making everything go wah-ooo-wah-ooo anytime I want without using my hands.
waugsqueke, Jun 26 2005

       i heard about that spider thing too and you can just use a flash light turn it on and point it in ur ear and they'll come out
mike743, Jun 26 2005

       with their hands up!
po, Jun 26 2005

       I heard the story too and dismissid it right away. A lot of the household spiders are poisonous, some even deadly (black widow is also found in europe). If almost everybody would swallow about eight spiders a night, we would soon run out of humans.   

       //The only way to get them out is to cough them out of your auditory canal using your recently installed ear-throat muscles.//. Or wait untill your earwax does its job.
Susan, Jun 26 2005

       [Pa`ve] - how do they know? The sleepers, not the spiders.
Detly, Jun 26 2005

       And do I have to digest food via my ears then? And how will I get the flies out of my throat?
Susan, Jun 26 2005

       no its 8piders a year doesn't seem that impossible considering that thares always at least one spider 8 feet away from u
mike743, Jun 26 2005

       oh good, I can put up with them as long as they are always 8 feet away.
po, Jun 26 2005

       Isn't it an advantage to have hairy, waxy ears, in that respect?   

       I have a notion that the smell of ear wax is designed to repel creepy crawlies. At least I hope it's true.
Ling, Jun 26 2005

       //people will swallow eight spiders while sleeping in their lifetime// *squeals, hides under blanket*
hobbitcoat, Jun 28 2005

       It dosen't taste all that great, either.
daseva, Jun 28 2005

       I had heard that about spiders. I also heard that the average person will eat about a ton of dirt over the course of their lifetime. I always said "If you're gonna eat a ton of dirt, might as well get it all over with now." It's not pleasant and I don't say that anymore.
Aegd, Jun 28 2005


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