Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Todger Torch

Gentlemen: pee with confidence in the dark.
  (+15, -2)(+15, -2)
(+15, -2)
  [vote for,

A small but powerful torch attached to a strap with velcro fastenings to fit snugly around the base of the old boy with the beam in the direction of aim.

The proud owner can now pee with confidence in the dark.

For me it would mean that I could go to the toilet late at night without having to turn on the light in the adjoining bathroom. I would also not run the risk of peeing on the floor as sometimes happens when the manoeuvre is attempted in the dark.

My wife would be pleased about this because the bathroom light wakes her up, as does the noise from the extractor fan. Furthermore, by being able to aim accurately, I would be able to optimise the position of things to minimise the amount of noise. As every schoolboy knows, peeing straight into the water in the toilet bowl can be extremely noisy.

DenholmRicshaw, Apr 14 2002

Simpler than strapping something on: http://www.halfbake...a/Go_20and_20Glo_27
One solution to the aiming problem. [rbl, Apr 14 2002, last modified Oct 04 2004]

A possibility . . . http://bz.pair.com/fun/todger_thingy.html
25Kb image - (I hope this is okay for me to add, [DenholmRicshaw].) [bristolz, Apr 14 2002, last modified Oct 21 2004]


       <obligatory> is that a torch on your todger? etc. </obligatory>   

       Does this product come in different girths?
calum, Apr 14 2002

       ... no I'm just pleased to pee ... ooh. (sorry - 0 out of 10)   

       Yes; three girths. Jumbo, Colossal and Super-Colossal.
DenholmRicshaw, Apr 14 2002

       I have heard of sledgehammers to crack nuts but this is too much... where you going to keep your batteries?
po, Apr 14 2002

       Excellent. Your size naming policy has negated any concerns a less well-endowed man might have about purchasing one of these fine torches. Now wash your hands. Have a croissant.
calum, Apr 14 2002

       You'll have to be careful around windows so as not to inadvertently terrify passerbys with an "old boy" shadow show.
spartanica, Apr 14 2002

       See link to the glowing water. What I was thinking of was a light around the lip of the basin, something soft and soothing, not blinding like opening the fridge. With a built in light the toilet seat being lifted would activate it. (leading to the "does the light really go off when the toilet seat is down?" question.
rbl, Apr 14 2002

       Oh for heaven's sake. If you have to go in the dark, just go ahead and sit down to do it. I promise your masculinity won't be compromised (much).
Jeremi, Apr 14 2002

       [Jeremi] I have experimented with sitting down only to find that the last few drops emerge on standing up - usually down my leg.   

       [rbl] Nice idea ... then it occurred to me that if someone could invent something to make pee glow we could complete the picture. Todger Torch, glowing water, illuminated toilet seat, glowing pee, shadow shows, lasers, ... hang on my wife's just woken up ...
DenholmRicshaw, Apr 14 2002

       I'd hate to be the one to replace the lightbulb.
reensure, Apr 14 2002

       I think long life l.e.d's are in order.
rbl, Apr 15 2002

       [bristolz] - Excellent picture - I specially like the adjustable tray.
DenholmRicshaw, Apr 15 2002

       [bristolz] I like the picture. Kind of looks like a splint.
-----, May 14 2005

       //where you going to keep your batteries// Don't be silly [po], it is one of those torches you shake to charge up...
coprocephalous, Apr 07 2006

       /I have experimented with sitting down only to find that the last few drops emerge on standing up - usually down my leg./-[DenholmRicshaw]   

       Sounds like what's needed here is a Evil Laugh Activated Hose Dryer.
NotTheSharpestSpoon, Apr 07 2006

DenholmRicshaw, Jul 31 2006

       Clearly the word 'torch' has a different meaning in England than in the US.
RayfordSteele, Aug 16 2007

       Nice pic [bristolz] Of course I would require a little more support - maybe something like braces to help elevate the end.. Oh, and It would need a solid underslung mainrail and...Hem*. Great Idea!
the dog's breakfast, Sep 04 2007

       What's wrong with a <inuendo> head </inuendo> torch? + anyway.
Anchovy, Sep 05 2007

       Sp.:In your end-o.
MaxwellBuchanan, Sep 05 2007

       The problem is that the direction of aim may not pinpoint the location of impact. Parabolics.
Texticle, Sep 06 2007

AbsintheWithoutLeave, Oct 02 2008

       sounds great. adds a whole new light saber dimension.
williamsmatt, Oct 02 2008

       Take one of those caps of pens which have a torch built in. Attach to todger with a rubber band. Done.
neelandan, Oct 03 2008

       Don't cross the streams!
mecotterill, Nov 21 2008

       i just wonder: if it is dark, then how will you find this torch? Surely you would need another source of light to locate your todger...I mean..torch, in which case why not just use the bathroom light? Or even better, it could be attached to your todger all the time, eliminating the problem completely!
samosa_pirate, Nov 21 2008


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