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Toilet Silencer

Silences the noise of people using toilet
(+2, -2)
  [vote for,

This happens to me a lot, you get up at the dead of night and need the toilet, but everything you do creates noise.

So how about a noise cancelation device that creates inverse noise patterns to shut out any noise you make.

FM, May 02 2002

Silence Machine http://www.newscien...s.jsp?id=ns99992094
Not as far off as you think... [bartkusa, May 03 2002, last modified Oct 04 2004]

Student designs noise-reducing toilet seat http://www.press.ba...053C125703E00499E3B
Wins first price in contest sponsored by company selling the materials he used. [jutta, Oct 20 2005]


       Ummmm, how would this work, exactly?   

       And *why* would you want it to work? Are you afraid that people will hear you wee? Or are you afraid of waking people? If it's the former, then take comfort in the thought that they are most probably asleep. If the latter, just how much noise do you make, going to the toilet?
salachair, May 02 2002

       I had this problem. I solved it by becoming a ninja. I can now silently speed through my flat in the dead of night without my feet every touching the floor. Indeed, the noise of urination itself is muffled by my secret ninja toilet-paper-in-the-pan technique.
"There is a guy in the south village called Tony. He is a ninja." Perhaps you should talk to him, FM.
calum, May 02 2002

       Noise cancellation might be nice just for flushing.
phoenix, May 02 2002

       Not that this site has much, if anything, to do with practicality but, if this really is a problem for you then insulate your bathroom walls for the sound deadening effect.   

       The cellulose (shredded paper) folks claim that their product has noise dampening properties that are superior to those of fiberglass. Then add a sound insulated door. Just close it quietly. shhhhhh.   

       Should help some. Not nearly as fun as active noise cancellation though.
half, May 02 2002

       Taking the level down just that bit further....   

       When I want to disguise what might be a noisy poo (curry-bum etc), then I turn on the tap to drown out the offensive noise. Then the whole house doesn't need to know my business.   

       I'm sharing this deep secret with you, but actually I should reveal it to my father who has no qualms about the residents & visitors hearing the state of his bowels!
julie, May 03 2002

       I would agree with Calum on this one. Ninja is the way to go. I've perfected many amethods for silencing my dirty business. The gas murmurs like a summer breeze and poo like greased lightning. Be forewarned though, that those who meet the ninja in the dead of dark, will one day be the object of his stealth revenge.
Underdrunk, May 03 2002


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