Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Strap *this* to the back of your cat.

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Trivial Task Decathlon

Be the best in the world at something anyone can do
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Can you tie your own shoelaces? Are you capable of turning on a light switch? Perhaps, could you even pour yourself a glass of orange juice? Then you might have what it takes to be a competitor in the International Trivial Sports League!

At an ITSL sanctioned event, competitors will be required to complete a list of ten predetermined tasks as quickly as possible. Tasks might include opening a book to a certain page, kicking a ball at least two feet, ladling soup into a bowl, or grabbing a matching pair of socks from a drawer (filled with identical socks, of course).

The list of potential tasks is published prior to the event so that competitors can practice, but the specific tasks and the order in which they must be completed isn't determined until the day of the event, thus requiring all “taskletes” to maintain proficiency in all of the events if they hope to take home the gold.

So—do *you* have what it takes to pour water out of a boot (with instructions on the heel, no less)?

ytk, Jun 05 2014

upper class twit of the year contest https://www.youtube...watch?v=k5ba1OKY7Xc
Contest of simple things though the last is a bit final. [popbottle, Jun 08 2014]

Gurning, Pipe smoking, &c. http://www.egremontcrabfair.com/
Perhaps not trivial enough for this idea though. [pocmloc, Jun 09 2014]

[link]






       [+] ...bake half croissants.
xandram, Jun 05 2014
  

       Watches Paint Dry, please.
blissmiss, Jun 05 2014
  

       Diaper Changing?
blissmiss, Jun 05 2014
  

       Daydreaming?   

       I an without a doubt the best in peeling a mandarin.
zeno, Jun 06 2014
  

       Saying “uh...”
pocmloc, Jun 07 2014
  

       I was going to suggest Thumb Twiddling but I believe there was a PSA a while back warning of the potential for long-term soft-tissue damage from repeated thumb collisions.   

       Medical experts routinely call damage to the ulnar collateral ligament "Skier's Thumb", but in some urban medical circles, particularly those near seats of government, "Twiddler's Thumb" is more common.
Canuck, Jun 09 2014
  

       Listing lists. I'm good at that.
blissmiss, Jun 10 2014
  

       Channel Flipping
vfrackis, Jun 11 2014
  

       Flipping Chanel?
blissmiss, Jun 11 2014
  

       Recovering a ball bearing from a 100 litre barrel of butter. Rubbing holes through the elbows of a sweater on a concrete surface. Catching a 400 yard drive by Tiger Woods in a tin cup, standing 350 yards from the tee. Catching a 400 yard drive by Tiger Woods in a tin cup, standing 50 yards from the tee. Catching a 400 yard drive by Tiger Woods in a tin cup, standing 5 yards from the tee. The list goes on...
Harry Mudd, Jun 11 2014
  

       Don't be rude.
MaxwellBuchanan, Jun 11 2014
  

       Wasn't Trivial Task one of the 007 Archenemy Henchmen??? Oh, wait. I confused it with by Doctor Evil's shoe-tossing henchman Random Task...   

       Sorry! How about "making a list of trivial tasks"?
Canuck, Jun 12 2014
  
      
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