Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
h a l f b a k e r y
I never imagined it would be edible.

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Ultimate Underwater Dive-Boxing

Can you fathom this?
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The contest takes place in a transparent tank, about the size of a boxing ring, and about 10 feet deep. The floor is covered with sand and scattered sea weeds, and in the corner is a treasure chest that opens occasionaly to emit a stream of bubbles. The two combatants are wearing old-school style diving suits, with lead boots and bulbous brass helmets with air hoses attatched to the back. Each diver has a team of two pumpers, who provide him with fresh air while they madly pump the apparatus. The object for each diver is to disable the other, the best method being kinking his air hose and blocking off supply, forcing him to submit or pass out. Divers are allowed to punch, kick, push, pull, wrestle, and grapple their opponent to reach their objective, but biting and hair pulling is strictly foribdden. This is not Queensberry Rules; the term boxing in the title refers more to the fight being held in a glass box rather than any gentlemanly notion of fair play. For the winner - a large diameter pearl, a few bottles of 300 year old rum, and 600 lead ingots. For the loser - nothing but rum, sodomy, and the lash. (at least he too gets some rum).
simonj, Jul 23 2004

Ready for combat http://news.bbc.co....2869_loch360_pa.jpg
[simonj, Oct 04 2004, last modified Oct 05 2004]

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       I was given a bottle of forty-year-old Bacardi once.....smoooooothhhh. No sodomy required.   

       The author Jack Vance did a variation on this where the contestants were in adjoining but seperate tubular tanks, and each tried to pump the chest-high water from his tank into the other one. Fastest and longest enduring lived, the other drowned.
normzone, Jul 23 2004
  

       Ha - missed that one. But there are so many ways for people to harm eachother, I don't think calling them a sport really makes a vote-worthy idea. Fishbone.
DrCurry, Jul 24 2004
  

       I misread this as 'ultimate underwear dive boxing.'
RayfordSteele, Jul 24 2004
  

       That would be a different sport altogether...
simonj, Jul 28 2004
  
      
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