Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Renovating the wheel

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It's all about maintaining a steady spead.
  (+35, -2)(+35, -2)(+35, -2)
(+35, -2)
  [vote for,

My friend told me a tale of a guy in Brixton who has pimped up his push bike with a massive stereo system. This, I think, is funny. Especially since the guy who modified his bike probably doesn't realise that it's funny.

My bike however will be cooler. This bike has a great big vinyl record over the front wheel covering the spokes - like those no-spoke wheels that kids loved in the eighties - and a needle hovers over it. Where the basket should be there is a bronze gramophone horn. The faster you travel the quicker the track will play. It's all about maintaining a steady speed.

I'd definitely put Queen on it first. I actually do want to ride my bicycle, I want to ride it where I like.

theleopard, Sep 09 2007

here's a start with a verticle turntable + http://retrothing.t...al_turntable_01.jpg
[xandram, Sep 09 2007]

Bicycle song - Red Hot Chilli Peppers http://www.songmean...3530822107858587716
Here she comes in a suit and tie, Shepard’s bush and a leopard’s pie... [theleopard, Sep 10 2007]

Music Box http://i63.photobuc...o/IND_muzic_box.jpg
Plink plink plink... [awesomest, Sep 10 2007]

The devil is a long way from collecting his due. Existential Contract Lawyers
The deal was for 50 2.5 bunners, and I haven't had one since signing. Pesky Dark Lord. [theleopard, Sep 11 2007]


       + I love it. (I thought you said you'd put the Queen on it first; she might like it, too)
xandram, Sep 09 2007

       B&O used to make turntables that would play at any angle, even upside down! - So this would work "perfectly" well. +
xenzag, Sep 09 2007

       Idea of the week[+]
the dog's breakfast, Sep 10 2007

       I had a bike that played whale song when I put the brakes on, does that count?
marklar, Sep 10 2007

       In the late 80's I once kitted out a bicycle with a CB radio from a car.
hippo, Sep 10 2007

       This would be fun over potholes, it would add to the realism.
skinflaps, Sep 10 2007

       For a more sinister touch could the needle mechanism be made to move from the inside out, playing the music backwards?   

       Thanks [Pedigree Chum]!   

       [hippo], was that for any reason? Going on a cross country bike ride in treacherous landscapes for instance?
theleopard, Sep 10 2007

       No, boredom. I worked on a kids' summer camp in the US and all the kids had bicycles and there was a stack of ancient car CB sets in a store room, and I had a few 12V batteries...
hippo, Sep 10 2007

       Well, why not?
theleopard, Sep 10 2007

       When can I buy one? I suppose those downhill glides will make the singers sound like chipmunks.
adjective, Sep 10 2007

       Wouldn't it be "Vincycle" or "Vicycle"?
MaxwellBuchanan, Sep 10 2007

       Yup. Despite spelling vinyl correctly elsewhere in the idea I forgot the 'y' is at the end. Changed. Cheers chappy.   

       I was also thinking that maintaining a steady speed isn't necessarily a necessity. Like you say [adjective], the faster and more frenetic you travel, the faster and more frenetic the music will be, perfectly suited to your current state of mind, panic, as you hurtle down a hill.   

       Similarly, ambling around or slowly coming to a halt will produce that deep, lazy throaty sound.
theleopard, Sep 10 2007

       I'd play Flight of the Bumblebee down a steep hill. Or the Sailor's Hornpipe on an increasing incline.
MaxwellBuchanan, Sep 10 2007

       I can remember playing Ummagumma at half-speed to make it last longer.....
xenzag, Sep 10 2007

       This could be done "music-box" style, too. The disc wheel would have little nubs that, upon passing the front fork tube, would pluck metal tabs attached along the length of the fork tube, each one tuned to a particular note (see link "music box"). In any case, I love and bun the idea heartily.
awesomest, Sep 10 2007

       Nice [danielo], I like it, but every time you cycle through a neighbourhood you'd have the overwhelming urge to sell ice creams.
theleopard, Sep 10 2007

(+) (+)

       What's a "spead"?
BJS, Sep 11 2007

       Yes, well, the original idea was going to be an exploration into what a man's predicted Basal Energy Expenditure at music festivals might be, say for instance the Jazz Appreciation Month, incorporating molecular dynamics simulation and the Vicycle itself as my second and third variables, but in the end I opted just to take spead instead.
theleopard, Sep 11 2007

       Ok, now I know.
BJS, Sep 11 2007

       Design a Univicycle, play the clown music (tum tum tiddle iddle um tum ta dah) et viola, a mobile mini circus! [+]
jtp, Sep 11 2007

       Experienced Vicycle Jockeys could have a vertical deck installed on the back wheel as well, with cross-faders on the handle bars allowing the more talented riders to mix from one wheely good tune to another.
theleopard, Sep 11 2007

       Playing records at 33 1/3 rpm while cycling a 26" wheel equates to a speed of about 2722 inches per minute or about 2.5 mph. It's actually quite hard to cycle this slowly - therefore can I suggest this product is based around singles and 12" EPs (45rpm, or about 3.5mph) or even better, old shellac 78's (78rpm, or 6mph)?
hippo, Sep 11 2007

       The low speed is conquerable: the wheel is, in fact, a large CD. Now, a CD turns at 500rpm when the pickup is at the center, about 200 at the edge. If we assume the bike is going to roll at 500rpm, that's 38+mph - one side, Armstrong! But the rim speed of a CD at 200rpm is about 3100 inches per minute, or just a hair under 3 mph - that's the speed the pickup wants. That's still too slow. I can do it, but I want to GET somewhere, too. Today.   

       Instead there are several pickups and a bit cache that allows the data to feed in at the correct rate - if the bike's moving too slowly, two or more pickups gather the music off the platter simulataneously, and software assembles it from the cache, not too dissimilar from the function of the anti-jog memory in a lot of personal CD players.
elhigh, Sep 11 2007

       //200rpm is about 3100 inches per minute, or just a hair under 3 mph// - I think you might have made an error in this calculation.
hippo, Sep 11 2007

       [Anathema], you can't come out with something that mysterious and then be all like, "Oh, nothing, never mind..." Do tell...
theleopard, Sep 11 2007

       No, I'm sure it's not. But I'd still like to hear it. My email is on the old profile page if you change your mind.
theleopard, Sep 11 2007

       How about a spinner wheel, where the wheel only engages and drives the record when the record spins slower than the predetermined record RPM. Weight the outside of the rim and you'll essentially have a flywheel that keeps the record playing when you're stopped waiting to cross traffic.
bleh, Sep 11 2007

       //Good idea, look out for incoming France// - but we all want to know what you were grumbling about as well...
hippo, Sep 12 2007

       CD speed (when the pickup is at the outer track)= 200rpm (according to Wikipedia), rim diameter is 5", 200 x 5 x 3.14 = 3141 inches per minute.   

       3141 inches / 12 inches per foot = 261.75 feet per minute or .049 miles per minute: just under three miles per hour.
elhigh, Sep 12 2007

       It would be quite simple, I would have thought, to gear the vinyl to increase and decrease in speed at a rate higher than the wheel's acceleration and decelleration. This could also be done discreetly making the final product look like it's spinning at the same rate, whilst producing a more rider friendly playing speed.   

       You asked earlier [21] about vinyl toughness against road vibration and bumps etc. The wheel isn't itself made of vinyl, the wheel still has spokes as its core frame but the vinyl is placed over it, resulting in a marginally wider wheel, but with the spokes obscured from view. Clamps and such forth will keep the needle steady against the record.
theleopard, Sep 12 2007

       if you had records on both wheels, will that make it stereo?
the great unknown, Sep 12 2007

       Yes, and perfectly synced, unless you did a wheelie...
theleopard, Sep 12 2007

       caught in a landsli caught in a landsli caught in a landsli caught in a landsli
nomocrow, Sep 12 2007

       Simple, make the CD be the standard 5" size, and have standard 26" wheels. 3 mph becomes 15, a nice comfortable ride. Surely you're not going to ride along on 5" wheels?
RayfordSteele, Sep 12 2007

       'Stuck in a mome, Stuck in a mome, Stuck in a mome' Shirley.
marklar, Sep 12 2007

       Would it would work better with a Penny Farthing?
Ling, Sep 12 2007

       Only if you could find some old 78s.
skinflaps, Sep 12 2007

       I see this circling in front of Buckingham Palace, playing God Save the Queen.
ldischler, Sep 12 2007

       [+] :)
FlyingToaster, Mar 21 2009


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