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Warm Baby Trap

No more mosquito hunting at 3:00 am
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For those who are averse to the idea of spraying insecticide or burning incense, here is a way to cut down on mosquito bites at night.

I'm told that mosquitos are attracted by heat, carbon dioxide, and moisture. Hence, when her temperature is higher than mine, my wife will get stung quite often while I escape scot-free.

So before going to sleep, place a life-like doll of a baby in a cot at the foot of your bed. This doll gives off slightly more heat, carbon dioxide, and water vapor than the average human. When a mosquite lands on the baby, it is either electrocuted, has its stinger cut off, or gets stuck to the baby's skin.

The baby should be naked, and thus have a large potential landing area, but also be equipped with rattles and a pacifier, for maximum subterfuge, because frankly I think these mosquitos are much smarter than they are made out to be.

Dr Furtz, Jul 04 2001

(?) Chickens can be used... http://www.cfe.corn...rchive/4-26-00.html
...and are not susceptible. [angel, Jul 04 2001, last modified Oct 21 2004]

...as can Limburger. http://www.sciencen...g/20000422/bob2.asp
Just like mcscotland claimed. But could push cheese-electrification technology state-of-the-art. [Monkfish, Jul 04 2001, last modified Oct 21 2004]

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       Baked, sort of. I read somewhere that you can do this with a particular brand of very smelly cheese. There were some scientists in Africa that worked out why most mosquito bites tend to be around the feet and lower leg - and it was the smelly feet that was doing it. So if you can stomach sleeping in a hot room with a pile of pungent cheese sweating in the corner - you should not be bothered by any mosquitos.   

       The results of the study to discover whether this works with custard have not yet been published.
mcscotland, Jul 04 2001, last modified Jul 05 2001
  

       Why not use a small dead pig? Simply warm it on some hot fire pebbles an hour before bedtime. This would save on the embarrasment and distress of locating a warm baby.
benfrost, Jul 04 2001
  

       No no no... The point is to incapacitate them.
Dr Furtz, Jul 05 2001
  

       Just suround your bed with laser beams...
RobertKidney, Jul 05 2001
  

       Raving Lord Such attemted to catch the loch ness monster with a britsh rail cheese and pickle sandwich.
chimpboy, Jul 05 2001
  

       I take it that he failed...
RobertKidney, Jul 05 2001
  

       Do you mean Screaming Lord Sutch, of the Monster Raving Loony Party? If so, he's not an impostor, merely dead. He remains the longest-serving leader of any political party in UK. I knew him slightly; he was a very funny, as well as a very clever, man.
angel, Jul 08 2001
  
      
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