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Whale rider

Warning: not animal friendly
  (+5, -9)
(+5, -9)
  [vote for,

A living whale is transformed into a submarine.

Lungs are stripped and replaced by compressed air and pump.

Heart: replaced with much smaller pump.


Until there is enough room inside for a crew.

Computers are linked to brain for steering.

The first step in the evolution of living space ships we know from scifi like farscape.

This idea came to me in a dream I had this morning.

zeno, Mar 04 2008

Story of Jonah http://en.wikipedia.../wiki/Book_of_Jonah
[xandram, Mar 04 2008]

Where to get an estimate. http://www.serve.co.../ThePetShopSketch-2
[Amos Kito, Mar 04 2008]

Can't go wrong with Christopher Moore http://www.chrismoore.com/books.html
[normzone, Mar 04 2008]

whale mover http://www.youtube....watch?v=TpqnMtWXJ6Y
You start by anaesthetizing your whale... [jaksplat, Mar 04 2008]

Whale Rider (the movie) http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0298228/
Not much like this [csea, Mar 05 2008]


       I'm sure there's plenty of room inside a whale. Also, biological machines tend to be more efficient than mechanical ones. More importantly, whales don't have windows (so there's no vista, hehe).
marklar, Mar 04 2008

       You need therapy.
angel, Mar 04 2008

       Actually you need to fire the therapist that told you to listen to whale song.
marklar, Mar 04 2008

       Do you need to remove the lungs? You already have to create a pressure vessel, so the brain would seem a better and weirdly humaner choice, though I don't know what kind of room that gives you. If you want to be nice, go with the stomach. Maybe train a bulemic whale to first swallow and then puke you out at your destination?
MisterQED, Mar 04 2008

       Baked by Jonah!
xandram, Mar 04 2008

       I'm sure that you'll have a whale of a time.
skinflaps, Mar 04 2008

       Have you been reading Fluke? (link)
normzone, Mar 04 2008

       Yucky. The lungs are not air pumps, they are blood/air interface areas. You'd need something just about as big, and very complicated, to replace them.
baconbrain, Mar 04 2008

       There's a much easier way to do this. You start by anaesthetizing your whale, obviously. Then you implant a dermal expander. This is basically a balloon which can be inflated with saline. In this case, the balloon wants to start as a tube about 30ft long and 1-2ft across. I'm assuming it will run down the belly of the whale (for symmetry), or could have one down each side.   

       Over the coming months, you inflate the balloons with saline (fairly readily available), until each is about 10-15ft in diameter. The whale's skin will grow as the balloons expand, of course (that's why they're used in plastic surgery; expanders, that is, not whales).   

       When the chambers are the right size, you need to send in a couple of divers. You'll need to inject them in through a huge airlock/syringe structure, into the saline-filled balloon. Each diver carrys a supply of two-pack water-curing epoxy, and plastering equipment. The divers line the inside of the balloon with epoxy.   

       Once complete, the balloon can be emptied of saline, and will form a spacious, dry watertight compartment. You'll have to make some kind of stoma as an access hatch, but any fool can do that. The inside can then be equipped as necessary.   

       It will probably (certainly) be necessary to provide the whale with some ballast to counteract the bouyancy of the chamber. It should be possible to raise plankton on a mercury-rich diet, then feed these to krill, then get the whale to eat the dense krill. Eventually, the whale itself will become denser. However, don't let it dive too far without first reinforcing the inside of the chamber.
MaxwellBuchanan, Mar 04 2008

       I don't normally do this, but [marked-for-tagline] "You start by anaesthetizing your whale, obviously..."
lostdog, Mar 04 2008

       Better off carving out a giant peach. I don't think we have anything like the cyborg technology required for this.   

       And your dream? Your subconcious really was just riffing Farscape.
DrCurry, Mar 04 2008

       Ah, [unabubba] has already found a good use! And I got two whole buns.   

       The whale has to be alive because the idea is to create a living submarine, a creature that is a friend of the crew and allows the crew a unique whale experience.   

       The whole thing is unethical, I know. But in my dream I was not aware of such tecnicalities and could only see the beauty.   

       With present echnology I think we could go a long way in transfiguring the whale into a submarine. Next we try again and study untill we have perfected it in the far future and people and whale become one.
zeno, Mar 05 2008

       Call it the Jonah project. I have major moral objections. Is there some rational for why this would be more desireable than a conventional submarine? The animated corpse of the whale would still need to eat, do we really believe that we would be able to keep the whale healthy? The submarine would be limited to areas where food is dense and would need to constantly migrate. A depressing and pointless exercise in amoral science.
WcW, Mar 05 2008

       wouldn't it be better to just strap a small sub to the outside of a whale?
marklar, Mar 05 2008

       Honey? Do I look fat in this whale?
zeno, Mar 05 2008

       Let's just turn Wales into a submarine instead.
marklar, Mar 05 2008

       Excellent idea. Put the access hatch in Cardhiff.
MaxwellBuchanan, Mar 05 2008

       //You'll have to make some kind of stoma as an access hatch, but any fool can do that//   

       You'd be surprised, but this is not so. In my college "Principles of Stoma Hatch Design for Biosubmarine Access" class there were several students who had trouble keeping up. You wonder how some of these kids get past admissions.
globaltourniquet, Mar 05 2008

       You were in that class too? The one taught by Professor Haemmorhage? God, those were the days. Remember when we hid the Prof's false ear inside his false leg?
MaxwellBuchanan, Mar 05 2008

       This is a hideous idea!
qt75rx1, Mar 13 2008

       Yes, I know. Yet I think it is also a beautifull idea if you manage to strip it of the hideousness, as I did in my dream.
zeno, Mar 14 2008

       //This is a hideous idea!// Aww, c'mon - the prof. saw the funny side. Or he would have if it weren't for his false eye.
MaxwellBuchanan, Mar 16 2008


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