Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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White Rhino Burger

For the good of the species...
  (+14, -4)(+14, -4)
(+14, -4)
  [vote for,

There is a certain species of white rhino in which only about 10 individuals are still remaining and they are all in captivity and are reluctant to mate (like most endangered species, it seems). Many are too old to mate. If the zoo or sanctuary in which these animals were being sold would hide these individuals, one at a time and start selling the rare and limited time offer of the white rhino burger, some people would pay enourmous fees to eat the flesh of a soon-to-be extinct animal, the taste of which no one will ever experience again. These burgers, of course would be cow meat or maybe even soy burgers and would be cooked in a different way or with different spices to make it seem like the flesh of a 7-ton endangered animal, and could cost up to 15,000 American dollars per burger. The "late" rhinoes would be placed in a hidden reserve or underground holding pen. Of course burgers could be produced limitlessly, seeing as how large a rhino is, and people would buy them until they realized that they've eaten more rhinoes than were alive. They proceeds from this fundraising activity would go to preservation and cloning of this species and other endangered species.
jellydoughnut, May 24 2006

"The Freshman" (1990) http://www.allmovie...l?p=avg&sql=1:18652
[Shz, May 24 2006]

International Rhino Foundation/Northern White Rhino http://www.rhinos-i...pecies/northern.htm
Sorry, it was a subspecies. [jellydoughnut, May 25 2006]

Want fries with that? http://raptorcannon...ek-rhino-fries.html
Recipe for Rhino Fries! [Cow Chamber, Jun 22 2009]


       Haha. I'd love to dupe the western civilisation with a scheme like this! Although I'm not sure people would part with 15,000 USD for the privelege ..
kuupuuluu, May 24 2006

       for 15K, someone would pay an extra 2K to have one bite of the burger analyzed...and the whole scheme would fall apart miserably. bun.
sninctown, May 24 2006

       Maybe the pricetag was a bit exagerific... itastical... istic, but people who'd want to kill an endangered species for the taste aren't going to be the brightest muffins in the pantry. If you did a test on a "cow" burger from McDonald's or Burger King, I bet you could find traces of rhino, anyway.
jellydoughnut, May 24 2006

       Um, this is exactly the scam from the movie "The Freshman", only the people ("Gourmet Club") were eating smoked turkey they thought was Komodo Dragon. A different endangered animal was supposedly served each time. The animals actually went to the scammer's wildlife preserve.
Shz, May 24 2006

       Turtle meat has been successfully farmed to bring them back from extinction, so I'm thinking even using genuine rhino meat would work.   

       Rhinos seem to be pretty sedentary, so I'm guessing the meat would be pretty tender. Make mine a steak, and you're on!
DrCurry, May 25 2006

       Amazing coincidence?
Shz, May 25 2006

       ...I knew I should have used actual Northern White Rhino flesh.
jellydoughnut, May 26 2006

       I'm sure this scam would bring about many lawsuits.
BJS, May 27 2006

       what BrauBeaton said.
sweet, May 27 2006

       Please don't mark ideas as derivative (WTCTT ...) unless the owner actually derived them. Thank you!
jutta, Jun 05 2006

       Royal Chitwan National Park, Nepal, has a few hundred Rhino which are rapidly disappearing due to poaching.
One village nearby has a couple of 'pet' Rhinos that are free to roam around. Normally, they are considered to be more dangerous than the Tiger, but these ones let us touch them.
My word, the skin was as hard as wood.
Ling, Jun 05 2006

       Actually (and harking back to Dr. Curry's anno a mere three years ago), one could levy a tax on meat which was directly proportional to the world population of that species.   

       Chicken would then be exhorbitantly expensive, and intensive chicken farming would be non-viable. Eventually, a small number of specialists might start to raise very small numbers of chickens, carefully pampered, for sale at high but affordable prices.   

       At the same time, rhino meat would become affordable, and the farming industry would very quickly devise ways to breed small herds of these animals, until they became so numerous that the tax on them started to rise.   

       Eventually, and equilibrium would be established in which all tasty creatures would be equally abundant and equally affordable, with no battery farming and no endangered comestibles.
MaxwellBuchanan, Jun 22 2009

       /My word, the skin was as hard as wood./   

       Did you get a taste? Maybe just a lick?
bungston, Jun 22 2009

       //Eventually, and equilibrium would be established in which all tasty creatures would be equally abundant and equally affordable, with no battery farming and no endangered comestibles.//

So, for the non-tasty species, it's a question of evolve to become tastier (and then get eaten) or become extinct? What a choice!
DrBob, Jun 23 2009

       //one could levy a tax on meat which was directly proportional to the world population of that species//   

       Thus making it financially effective to farm only the largest animals. Whale steak, anyone?
Wrongfellow, Jun 23 2009

       Hmm. Whale/cod - [MB] your idea only really works for farmable species. ([Wrongfellow] just make that population mass or whatever). And obviously depends how farmable species are - I mean chickens are a darn site easier to control than rhinos, I would think. We had sheep on our school farm, and they were bad enough.
VaquitaTim, Jun 23 2009

       All species are farmable, with sufficient effort. The more difficult the species, the fewer willing to farm it, the greater the tax break for succeeding. Of course, farmed whale will never taste the same as line-caught, though.
MaxwellBuchanan, Jun 23 2009

       I can't believe it's not rhino
methinksnot, Jun 23 2009

       They might charge too much.
Aristotle, Jun 24 2009

       The crackling'll be pretty amazing.
MaxwellBuchanan, Jun 28 2009

       <Beavis and Butt-head moment> Heh! You've got the horn! Heh! Heh!</babm>
DrBob, Jun 29 2009

       //They might charge too much// Bun.
coprocephalous, Jun 29 2009

       "Would Sir like one's steak medium rare, rare, or endangered?"
Ling, Jun 29 2009


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