Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Your own dancers

Finally get some attention.
  (+12, -1)(+12, -1)
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What people really need are small troops of crazy dancers to add some visual punch to their statements. You could be in some business meeting and make a remark about next quarter's office-supply budget and then sit down and your dancers would jump up from the floor behind you where they had been squatting and do a frantic, jiggly dance for emphasis. People could continue to find you fantastically dull but give you respect and attention because they dig your troupe.
Monkfish, Nov 04 2000

Distributed backup dancers http://www.halfbake..._20backup_20dancers
Not just for business. [hello_c, Nov 04 2000, last modified Oct 05 2004]

[link]






       Good idea! And the dancers could all be wearing matching outfits, a lá music videos.   

       [sdrowkcab gnikaeps no "sey" etoV]
[ sctld ], Nov 04 2000
  

       Or like in that Xerox series of commercials, they could also repeat the important points of your presentation in unision, add expressions of surprise or dismay, etc. to prompt the audience as to which emotions to use. I'm envisioning a troupe like those Long John Silver's guys...   

       You could also have "strongarm dancers" to take with you when negotiating for a raise. The supervisor's agreement to your requests will elicit a positive reward, like dancing or fish, whereas the supervisor's reluctance or disagreement may elicit strongarm tactics such as spraying with a water-bottle.
Bumpy, Nov 08 2000
  

       Oh man what I wouldn't give for that. All I got now is my grandma in a speedo and that just doesn't have the same cool effect as say the Dallas cowboy cheerleaders. Oh man that would be sweet.
beancrock, Nov 08 2000
  

       Yeah, all I have is beancrock's grandma in a speedo, too.
AfroAssault, Nov 09 2000
  

       Maybe a minor version of this : Your Own Musical Sting. Every time you say something that should be funny (in a punchy sorta way) - or even a little odd, a drummer who follows you around taps out a little sting.
It has to be a real drummer, though, cause a synth or tape recording just isn't the same.
  

       Another bonus is, the drummer probably wouldn't realise that he's being exploited in any way. *duck*
Detly, Nov 09 2000
  

       Reminds me of the way Jonathan Richman + drummer followed everyone around in "Something about Mary".
hippo, Nov 09 2000
  

       In the dark comedy "Underground" (1995, directory Emir Kusturica, written by Dusan Kovacevic), one of the characters is followed by his own personal brass band through most of the movie.   

       The theatrical roots of this sort of thing lead back to the greek chorus, about 500 bc, who'd do the commentary between scenes, providing introductions, interludes, and perspective. The chorus is said to have evolved out of the group dancing and recital that was the origin of Greek tragedy - not so far from this idea.
jutta, Nov 09 2000
  

       so what would the dancers do if you were having sex?
batgirl, Nov 17 2000
  

       Personally, I've found that dancing ludicrously myself usually has quite the effect I intended. People either laugh so hard or they're scared enough to not warrant upsetting me much, that they usually just go along with it. No need to be responsible for all the dancers when you could do the same work yourself.   

       (yes, I am still single)
absterge, Nov 17 2000
  

       death to mimes! death to mimes! please don't create more employment opportunities for these overwhelmingly despised entertainers...
pauluskc, May 11 2004
  

       //make a remark about next quarter's office-supply budget and then sit down //   

       ... only to see "your" dancers across the room, emphasising not your own remark, but your nemesis' lame riposte. Thus, once more, do the dreaded praetorian dance troupe switch allegiances,to make one sub-regional deputy manager and break another.
pertinax, May 02 2007
  
      
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