Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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"5 pints or less" taxi rank

Separates the drunks from the non-drunks
  (+8, -4)
(+8, -4)
  [vote for,

Similar in principle to the "5 items or less" checkout in the supermarket.

This rank would operate alongside the normal one, but each cab would be fitted with a breathalyzer. If all the passengers pass the test, they are allowed to travel in the taxi. If not, they have to use a normal taxi.

Benefits :

1) Taxi driver reduces the risk of a passenger vomiting in his taxi. Also less risk of violent/abusive passengers.

2) Passengers pay a slightly reduced fare.

jtp, Nov 16 2006

Hatfield and the North http://en.wikipedia...field_and_the_North
I still don't know what Murdoch's on about... [jtp, Nov 16 2006]

Definition of "fewer" http://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/fewer
[jtp, Nov 16 2006]


       Nice. There could also be an "absolutely shitfaced" service where the cabs would charge premium rates but have entirely flushable interiors.
hippo, Nov 16 2006

       Fewer, shirley?
calum, Nov 16 2006

       [calum] I'll leave that for the Ninja Pedants to decide. If you're one, then the voting currently stands at 1-1.
jtp, Nov 16 2006

       Can we also have a queue for "I'm buckin' fuckled, but my ole lady's shanctimonioushly teetotal and will kill me an' my dog if I so much as hiccup.", please?
Murdoch, Nov 16 2006

       <ninja pedant>It's 'fewer' if you're talking about discrete pints, and 'less' is you're talking about the total quantity.</ninja pedant>
angel, Nov 16 2006

       [angel] Still not clear, sorry. Are you saying that 'less' is correct?
jtp, Nov 16 2006

       I think you're all more or less (not fewer) correct. One might drink fewer than 5 pints, which would result in there being less than 5 pints in one's tummy-tum-tum.   

       Loving your work on "discrete", angel. have you got any Hatfield and the North records?
Murdoch, Nov 16 2006

       I think that there should be dual-wording signage, to eliminate the issue.
calum, Nov 16 2006

       Or a few more pints and a kebab to eliminate everything.
angel, Nov 16 2006

       Kebabs have that effect on me too.
zen_tom, Nov 16 2006

       Could you get some sort of certified "good drunk" card? I think the only way I'm ralphing (or becoming violent/abusive) on only 5 pints is if the cab is rolled over multiple times.
Zimmy, Nov 16 2006

       You've never heard of the "four-pint screamer"?   

       I think cabbies already avoid a potential fare who'se carrying a kebab, on the basis that only the "vayy, vayy djunk" will be eating them.
Murdoch, Nov 16 2006

       Why not just put barf bags in the back of the cab? They do it in planes.
Jscotty, Nov 16 2006

       if i'm drunk, chances are i won't know the difference - or care for that matter
abhorsen1983, Nov 16 2006

       In my town, cabs don't accept anyone who's noticeably drunk (or eating a kebab).
angel, Nov 16 2006

       The problem with the idea is that those of us who like to drink but haven't yet obtained a "good drunk" card (terrific idea, especially for an excellent drunk like me)is that the taxi drivers wouldn't pick up people like me.   

       "less" is used for things which cannot be separated (I feel less like upchucking now than I did before eating the ke---mmmuuuarrghhhh..."); "fewer" for discrete units ("I will not throw up in your cab as I have drunk fewer than 7 pints")
therattle, Nov 16 2006

       I stand corrected. I don't really like it though, it just doesn't sound right for some reason.
jtp, Nov 16 2006

       Sorry, I did change the title to 'fewer', but now I've changed it back again. I don't care if it's wrong. I'm all for pedantry, but the word 'fewer' in my opinion looks and sounds ugly. It's only one letter away from 'sewer'. Coincidence?   

       BTW Zimmy, please post the "good drunk" card idea. It's a far simpler solution to the problem, and eradicates the need to use the f word.
jtp, Nov 16 2006

       Or, we could all be like Santa, and take the turbocharged riding lawnmower home =^-^=
Shrimp, Nov 17 2006

       I thought that was George Jones w/ the lawnmower.
([jtp], I think I've got baker's block right now. You're welcome to do up the idea. All the ideas I've been getting have already been either baked, are no good, or are already here.)
Zimmy, Nov 17 2006

       Legless Taxi?
baconbrain, Nov 17 2006

       //['Fewer' is] only one letter away from 'sewer'. Coincidence?//   

       Perhaps... but then again, 'less' is only one letter away from 'cess'.
imaginality, Nov 17 2006

       //"5 pints or less" taxi rank
Separates the drunks from the non-drunks//

       I hope this applies to the drivers, too.
Ling, Nov 17 2006

       Yes, that's exactly what it is. And it is perfectly all right, for at least two reasons: First, no-one is born drunk, they simply make themselves drunk and second, the discimination can be objectively justified as it is unfair that those who choose not get themselves steaming drunk sould not have to subsidise those that do.
calum, Nov 18 2006

       whats a pint?
bulb, Nov 19 2006

       16 ounces?
bulb, Nov 19 2006

       pints a pound the world around
bulb, Nov 19 2006

       drunks should get the discount /\50%
bulb, Nov 19 2006

Zimmy, Nov 19 2006

       H20 @ 32.8 degrees celcius =
bulb, Nov 19 2006

       they nEED to BE inCentivized
bulb, Nov 19 2006

       the drunks do!
bulb, Nov 19 2006

       donate to FREE DRUNK RIDES
bulb, Nov 19 2006

bulb, Nov 19 2006

bulb, Nov 19 2006

bulb, Nov 19 2006

       //I've changed it back again. I don't care if it's wrong// it isn't, unless you have a particular problem with people who drink from pint glasses. As angel said, fewer refers to discrete units so unless you would let someone who had drunk eleven halves into your cab less is the correct word. Of course a super-bitchy pedant would point out that one can get paralytic long before reaching five pints of whisky but would be able to claim false advertising if one were turned away from the taxi due to it's results.
stilgar, Nov 19 2006

       //pints a pound the world around// ...for milk eggs and water.
Chefboyrbored, Nov 20 2006


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