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It's the christmas party. I'm standing talking to a work colleague. I've known them for two months, and we've often talked, albeit briefly, as we've passed in the corridor each morning. Despite this, I have no idea of their name is. I feel that I've known them long enough for it to be rude to suddenly
ask "Who are you?"
I now dread the moment that my girlfriend comes back from the bar, and says, "Aren't you going to introduce us?"
With the subtle "I don't know his/her name" signal, probably holding three fingers upto my shoulder or the like, I alert my girlfriend to the problem, and avoid the embarassment for any of us.
Upon spying another work colleague, I make the same signal to them. They take the hint, and join the conversation with a line like "Ah, I see you know Wilberforce, Bartholemew."
"Sure," I bluff. "Wilberforce and I have been pals for ages."
How to remember names
http://www.halfbake..._20remember_20names [hippo, Oct 05 2004]
[link]
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I like it, but wouldn't the person you were talking spot the signal? It'd have to be extremly directional to work... |
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You say "What was your name again?". Wilberforce says "Wilberforce, of course". You say "Yes, yes. I know that. I meant your surname". Problem solved. |
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Sneaky, squeaky. But what if Wilberforce wondered why you needed his surname, assumed that you were an agent who had rumbled his revenue scam, and promptly fed you to his crocodiles? |
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Secret service earphones, with those little white wires. |
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That is, unless you worked with Tommy LaSorda ... then you'd be telling the batter to sacrifice bunt, and steal third; then he'd probably call you on it. Then its suckerville for you, mister. |
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<signalling, though discreetly, so as not to cause offence> What the hell does Letsbuildafort's anno mean? <signalling, though discreetly> |
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simple : each team can have an agreed signal (surely you know the people in your team? ) then you're laughing. Nice one [Fishrat]. |
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squeak - tommy lasorda is a baseball manager and in baseball they use secretive hand signals to inform the players on the field of what they should do. |
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tsuka - i am eagerly awaiting the day that i find something funny enough to have tears run all the way down to my legs ... i thought reading your anno was going to do it, but they dried up around my belly button. |
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+ Yes, very good, because this problem occurs too often. |
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I have always thought that we need to change the way we greet each other. As it is, when I pass that woman from accounting in the hall, she says Hi, Stanley! and Im stuck saying, Oh, hi
and lamely trailing off. Its unfair to assume that just because she has found out (or remembers) what my name is that I should have done likewise for her. A person should use his or her own name when greeting a person. For instance, the lady from accounting would say, What ho! Livingston here! And I would respond, Ahoy there! Greetings from Stanley! Problem solved. |
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Thank you, [luecke], very nicely put. -- and, uh, [squeak] I could see your signal |
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//<signalling, though discreetly, so as not to cause offence>// |
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OK, pay attention, you may not get this first time. It took me a few goes. |
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You call over someone you know. You say TO the-person-who's-name-you've-forgotten, "Have you met...er..." and turning to the-person-you-DO-know, you say "I'm sorry, I've forgotten your name". The-person-you-DO-know is forced to introduce themselves to the-person-who's-name-you've-forgotten, at which point, the-person-who's-name-you've-forgotten states his/her name, and the problem is solved. |
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I have a friend with this problem. He worked out a simple solution, so with his wife's help, he can avoid embarassment. It goes something like this. |
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Friend to coworker: I'd like you to meet my wife. |
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Wife (extending hand): Hi I'm Jane. |
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At this point the coworker feels obliged to say their name. |
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Sure it's not as good as a proper introduction, but it's better than not making any introduction, and less embarrasing than asking for their name. |
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more or less works for me, and gets me in less trouble than telling my girlfriend I've forgotten her name |
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Although I like the idea, I must admit that AO annotated the real solution. I love it! Still, actually trying it is difficult. It's REALLY hard to drop that old bad habit of saying the other person's name. Reminiscent of, say, smoking. |
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Stanley only *presumed* it were Livingstone. he wasn't really sure. |
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[po] He got the signal from a coworker. |
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[egbert] - good work, that's a beaut. |
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With modern mind control devices
getting names shouldn't be too
much trouble. + |
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egbert is not so clever, he thinks I am Rods Tiger. |
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Wait. You're not then? Drat. <scribbles out something in small disheveled notepad> |
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Oh, and [dag], I have one two! Ha HAA! (oh, wait that's backwards) Ha HAA!! |
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But what if Wilberforce saw the I don't know what the hell your name is hand signal? I mean wouldn't everyone know it and be able to identify it? Just take the breif embarrasment of asking, "Gee I'm sorry, but I just completely blanked out on your name, what was it again?" |
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I just call everyone Mate...G'day mate err yer garn? |
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Ok, dag made his own. I accept
that, but K sra, where did you find
a manufacturer for these things?
Who sells these? |
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My brain got full up a couple of years ago, and now I cant remember names unless I learned them in high school. Christopher Columbus? Yeah, of course I remember you. And being named after a day of the week is awfully nice...how could anyone forget Pluterday? |
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Try this: "What was your name again?" "Wilberforce" "Sorry Wilberforce, I'm not great at remembering names." |
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Problem solved. Life's too short to worry about such issues. Next time if there's someone who's name you should remember but don't, ask them as soon as you realize this so you don't feel foolish in a few months at a party. |
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// that usually backfires if their name is Bob or something. // |
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Bawb, Baub, Bahb, Bobb, Beaughb... you can never be sure. |
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Ask for the name and explain you've recently been diagnosed with Alzheimer's disease. They'll understand. |
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[dag] Check your wallet. Assuming, of course, you have a wallet and that it's yours. |
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Thank you, [Worldgineer]. I have decided to only use subtlety when absolutely necessary (ie. for self preservation), and I have accepted the fact that I have a bad memory for names. So I just admit that I don't remember someone's name. Nobody so far has cared. |
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//"Ohhh! Dolores!!!"// made me laugh more than it rightly should have. |
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[+] for the awesome link [scout]. I am currently working with a deaf resident and this will help greatly since my ASL skills aren't what they used to be. |
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A friend of my brother's was named Bobble after the following conversation: |
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"So, which do you prefer, Robert, Bob, Rob, Rab, Bert..." |
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An alternative is just to make up a name and consistently refer to the other party as that - it's worked for me for years. |
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thats half-baked - Rodney / Dave in Only Fools. |
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oh tsuka, I missed that one! |
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Try giving everybody you ever meet a nickname. These are much easier to remember provided that you base them on physical features. E.g. |
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"Hello bignose, how is cheap-wig doing these days - still with stained-pits?" |
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[dob] I think most people would rather have someone not remember their name than refer to them as stained-pits. Seriously. (sniggersnigger...*stained-pits*.. sniggersnigger) |
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I've seen many funny posts on this one, but no actual suggestions (physical that is). |
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I just know Im too dumb for some of the oral suggestions (leave it alone) above, I'd screw it up for sure. |
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Us dummies do need the hand signal...um...how about these suggestions: |
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1. 4 fingers at the person, thumb back at self
2. scratch middle of back with thumb (good as other person cant see it.)
3. scream and run from teh room...(no too obvious). |
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When we come up with an agreed solution, lets just email the internet with it...everybody@internet.com |
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I've found a simpler solution. I've taken to calling everyone (including my mother) Bob. This is a gentle admission that I'm terrible at remembering names, but colleagues seem to be viewing me sympathetically, as though I'm some fond old grandad. |
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I think cFish nailed the main problem with gestures in the first anno - hence, I would venture, the lack of suggestions. |
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Wasn't it "Becker" that contained an annoying little character (Bob, coincidentally) who used his name instead of the first personal pronoun? |
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My four-year old is just growing out of that habit. Maybe I should encourage her to continue with it. |
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//Can't ask me for a favour// Can I borrow a tenner, Bob?
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As far as spotting the signal goes, [egbert] I would think it would only require the same amount of discretion as when you tell a third party that you'll be a couple of minutes, by holding up a couple of fingers during a conversation, or subtly mouthing "help" to a friend when you're stuck with a dullard. The art of misdirection is a wonderful thing - oh look, [squeak]'s tucked her skirt into her knickers again, look, over there! |
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Dammit, [fishrat]. You made me look! |
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Has anyone seen my 1$ bill? |
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<finishes ice cream bar and scurries off> |
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I have seen a man enter a TV studio, greet the audience one by one and then twenty minutes later go around the room and adress everyone by name... correctly and not in order. Hundreds of them. I have read a book by him, but can't remember his name or the name of the book. (Three fingers in my shorts, help me!) |
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This is a public forum. Please get your fingers out of your shorts. |
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Unless you're trying to untuck your skirt... |
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At one of these hideous quasi-corporate "getting to know you" affairs, I was required to turn to the bloke sitting next to me, ask his name, all about him and then, not 45 seconds later, introduce him to the rest of the group. |
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Me: "Everybody, this is Brian and his interests are intellectual property law and playing guitar in his band."
Him: "Actually, I'm Barry. I've no idea who Brian is." |
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He's now a very good friend, but he still calls me "Dave" in much the same style as Trigger. Maybe he's making a point. |
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We could all just make a point to
say our names for the first ten
times we meet someone. |
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calum, one of my colleagues went on a similar kind of thing, a Quality Service Skills course. Paul (was introduced courteously by his partner, however, after being introduced he could remember so little about his partner he simply said. "This is Matt he likes computers and Star Trek and doesn't get out much....." when he told us we were all rolling around on the floor, especially being as when we read his star signs for the day it said, "mix tact with the truth"........... |
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//say our names for the first ten times we meet someone// ...and simultaneously point at our most distinguishing feature? |
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[dobtabulous] - see link. I am
terrible at remembering names. |
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You know squeak might have the right idea! + |
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Or, like Leonard Shelby in Memento, take Polariod pictures of everyone you meet and write their name on it. |
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Or be like Matt, stay in watching Star Trek and avoid the whole situation. |
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The only way that I see this working is by mixing in a little of that Blue Tooth invetion. (The one that tracks people...) However, I don't think that having the blue tooth thing would work anyway, so my vote, well, I would give it an OK for now. However, Its only common courtesy to learn you colleagues names... |
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but i don't watch star trek! |
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