Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
h a l f b a k e r y
This is what happens when one confuses "random" with "profound."

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"monthly friend"

changing the way women menstruate
  (+14, -3)(+14, -3)
(+14, -3)
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This is not an invention, more like an unrealistic dream. Most women don't appreciate getting a visit from their "monthly friend", especially when this "monthly friend" of theirs sometimes sticks around for a week. The problem is we never know precisely when it's coming, for how long it's actually staying, the uncomfortableness that goes along with the visit, the mood swings, the bloating, etc... I've always wondered (and I'm sure I'm not alone) what it would be like and how much easier it would be if we could just set aside maybe 15-20 min. once a month and just release it all in one shot, right into the toilet. There probably would be a device where we would have to trigger something inside for this process to start. Now if in fact this was the way our bodies worked and you forgot to release your menstruation then it would in fact spill out on its own at an unsuspecting time (probably when you've got that white dress on)
momoko, Nov 29 2000

Menstrual extraction http://www.io.com/~...ion/extraction.html
Not supposed to try it at home. Dang. [hello_c, Nov 29 2000, last modified Oct 21 2004]

Instead http://www.softcup.com/
I like this better than tampons, although the removal is trickier than just pulling a string, and I do notice a slight pressure against my bladder when wearing it. The main advantages are that it requires fewer changes, doesn't shift, doesn't get in the way of penetration, and doesn't "bleed through" as easily as tampons do. [ping, Nov 29 2000, last modified Oct 21 2004]


       you always have the answer, don't you, PeterSealy? Actually, taking the pill all the time and skipping menstruation has been studied, and shown to help protect against cancer. I'm not too sure how it works, though.
DreamGoddess, Nov 29 2000

       When you got the white dress on, or the white anything on, you are subconsciously telling it to begin, didn't ya'll know that?..solution: NEVER wear white when you're expecting your "friend"!
wanda x, Nov 29 2000

       The theory that menstruation washes out germs was proposed by Margie Profet, & raised a fair amount of interesting commotion - but is not supported by evidence, e.g. tests of uterine bacterial load, which tends to be lowest right before menstruation. Blood is an excellent culture medium and menstruum can backwash; risk of STD infection is highest during menstruation. Apparently menstruation is actually energetically cheaper than keeping the (incredibly active) endometrial lining, and is suggestively mostly found in species - like humans - whose wombs are large relative to their bodies. /Woman/, Natalie Anger, pp. 102-108.   

       Back to the original topic - this can be encouraged mechanically; see link.
hello_c, Nov 30 2000

       Wow! An interesting link, but I'm hard-pressed to see the menstrual usefulness of this. I mean, sports events? Honeymoon?? Yeah, nothing quite like having a doctor vacuum blood out of my uterus to get me in the mood, honey.   

       I love the image of everything rushing out all at once, but wonder what the hormonal/psychological equivalent of a week all condensed into one would be. I don't think I can eat that much chocolate this fast and scream at the same time.   

       Favorite thing to make menstruation low-maintenance (other than the pill): Instead(TM). Takes about half as many changes as a tampon, doesn't bleed into your pants if it's "full", doesn't shift around. In the early days, you can pretty much pop it in and forget about it. They're hard to find, and your mileage may vary, but I'll never go back.
ping, Nov 30 2000

       Perhaps we can make a TV show on this. Sort of a 'period' drama.
fretzman, Nov 30 2000

       Can someone please explain to me what "TM" is?? I'm *extremely* interested now after reading what "ping" had to say about it. I thought I found heaven when I first started using tampons. I vowed to give up the pad forever. Depending on what this "TM" thing is I might have to give up the tampon.
momoko, Nov 30 2000

       See link. The name of the product is "Instead"; I was using "TM" for TradeMark to indicate that the word is the name of the product, not the usual adverb.
ping, Nov 30 2000

       Oh, just wait about 30 years and you won't have to worry about this whole menstrual thing anymore.
absterge, Dec 01 2000

       You women should spend less time complaining and more time working on putting your legs your head. If menstruation is getting you down that much, there is one fool-proof solution... get pregnant.
dbianco, Dec 07 2000

       What do you do for a headache, dbianco- take a quick trip to the guilotine?
Uncle Nutsy, Dec 07 2000

       interesting idea, the germs come from men. so...the solution is really, don't have sex with men (vaginal intercourse without condoms at least)! ;) no more germs. of course pregnancy isn't a solution to menstruation, pregnancy is the problem.
dj_photon, Apr 17 2001

       Believe it or not, this is somewhat baked.   

       There is/was a women's collective in the 70s-80s who espoused a technique similar to D&C or vacuum curretage near the time of an expected period for women whose cycles were regular. Not only did it remove the thickened endometrium and uterine contents (i.e., that which is lost during menstruation), it also removed any newly implanted fertilized egg before the woman had any idea she was pregnant. Insta-period and abortion all at once. Took less than an hour, some mild cramping after, maybe a bit of spotting that day, but that's it.
djanaba, Jun 07 2001

       Has there ever been organized competitive menstruating?
thumbwax, Jun 07 2001

       um... I'm not in the medical profession, but (hob, are you out there?) I don't think one would go into shock for losing "all that blood" all at once; it's not blood from your bloodstream, it's the lining that's been building up in your uterus in case you get pregnant; your body sheds it when you don't. it's just a form of automatic house-cleaning. now if only the useless hair on my legs would just fall off. evolution, evolution-- how slow thou art.
romy, Aug 03 2001

       Can't you just jump up and down really hard?
mrthingy, Aug 03 2001

       Hi, Romy. Pretty much right as far as I know, although this "extraction" deal sounds like it could be a little traumatic and there are a lot of blood vessels there.   

       p.s. That leg hair is not useless!
hob, Aug 05 2001


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