Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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aggressive useless box

  [vote for,

Its a typical useless box that does the normal thing of using an arm to switch itself off, when you try to flick its switch on.

The only differences is after the first few times, it will start to hiss.

The hiss will get louder, until a random number of times later, it will make a loud piecing sound, and stab you with a taser arm. After that, the cycle repeats.

(optional: If you persist even after the pain, it will ignite its own embedded thermite and napalm; burning you and your house down.)

mofosyne, Sep 19 2012


       What if you still persist after that?
pocmloc, Sep 19 2012

       pocmloc => Hmmm... instead of burning down your house... if you want it to go beyond that, then how about this.   

       After certain amount of painful pushes, the box will want to deal with you once and for all.   

       First it will suddenly stop acting nasty, and instead pop up a camera to take a video of your face. It will then start to play a fake game with the aim of learning as much about you (hopefully with your address, name and social security number)   

       While it is recording the video, it will connect to the nearest Wifi (or use cellphone tower), and connect to a hidden network like i2p, or tor.   

       Next, it will take you face and post it up on an assassination board with a bitcoin bounty on your head.   

       Once that is done, it will detonate an embedded explosive charge.
mofosyne, Sep 19 2012

       Alternatively, a simpler approach and most effective approach, is to embed C4 into it.   

       If you want to cheap out, or if collateral damage minimization is required over killing the offender. Then place multiple shotgun shell, hidden behind a thin wooden wall of the box. (You can add an armor piecing bullet, if for some reason it was a guy with body armor touching it. To increase the chance that the offender will be in front of such device, you may want to put clear plastic around that box, so that it is awkward to push it any other way but the front (you may run the risk of increasing suspicion about it though, so the simplest method could be just make the 'hissing sound' loudest in the front, to psychologically nudge the offender to the center of the box, and thus the shotgun shells inside.)
mofosyne, Sep 19 2012

       more along the lines of:   

       1-3: reaches out, flicks switch, retreats.   

       4: gives the finger before flicking switch and retreating.   

       5-7: box doesn't open: threatening noises from inside.   

       8: reaches out, waves jauntily, flicks switch, retreats (taser armed for the next 5 minutes).
FlyingToaster, Sep 19 2012

       // Steampunk version // You spend five minutes filling the boiler, starting the fire, getting it up to temperature, etc. When you flip the switch to activate it, it uses the remaining water in the boiler to extinguish the fire.
scad mientist, Sep 19 2012

FlyingToaster, Sep 19 2012

       I had a coin bank as a child that was just like that useless machine. Hey there it is in the other link.
rcarty, Sep 19 2012

       needs to be an alarm clock snooze button feature.
Voice, Sep 20 2012

       bump: dunno why I didn't + it first time'round.   

       ... and [marked-for-category]
FlyingToaster, Jan 22 2013


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