Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Almost as great as sliced bread.

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cats attack!

a frightening fairground experience
  (+16, -5)(+16, -5)
(+16, -5)
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The sign above the tent says in bold and enchanting letters 'cats attack!' and you are lead inside by an old woman with an ornate candle stick. She tells the small group a spooky tale of a mysterious haunted cattery that once stood on this very site. 'It was burnt to the ground,' she whispers, 'by an evil leprechaun in search of buried treasures. Some say that still to this day, you can hear him playing his banjo, and that the cats still haunt the moors'. At this point a banjo starts playing from somewhere in the darkness and you are lead further towards the eerie plucking.

Suddenly there is flash of light and flaming animatronic cats are flung to and fro across the marquee area, with blood curdling cat screeches and meeows. As the viewers are disorientated and run aimlessly through the half darkness to avoid flying cats getting caught on woollen vests, long hair etc a curtain is lifted in the center of the tent revealing a small man dressed as a leprechaun playing a banjo with an evil grin. The old woman withthe candlestick shrieks a bone tingling laugh and everyone runs as quickly as they can outside to safety.

benfrost, Dec 26 2004

flying flaming cats by the cat man http://www.catmankeywest.com/globe.htm
[benfrost, Jan 21 2005]

Spoken Word Performance Video of the idea above: Cats Attack! http://www.youtube....watch?v=NC0Rnxw_Sj0
spoken word by ben frost @ pet cemetary at the oxford art factory, feb 7th 2008 [benfrost, Feb 12 2008]

[link]






       ***makes mental note to hide hair under a hat and not to wear a wool vest to 'cats attack' ***
Machiavelli, Dec 27 2004
  

       Unless you have some way of making sure the cats don't hit the humans, this is a flaming- pointy- thing- in- the- face- related liability suit waiting to happen. Still, I'd go to this. (+) if you can work it out.
nick_n_uit, Dec 27 2004
  

       For variety you could use different stuffed animals for this. Like that little fabric softener teddy bear.
bungston, Dec 28 2004
  

       Why use fake cats?
wagster, Dec 28 2004
  

       the horror...the horror...
etherman, Jan 21 2005
  

       Could the cats arrive on stilts?   

       Please?
wagster, Jan 21 2005
  

       I can picture a certain hegemonising swarm being rather grumpy about getting tricked into going in. The swarm might change the name to "cats, attack!"
methinksnot, Aug 22 2011
  

       We would change it to, "Cats ! ATTACK !"   

       #include <EOSSACR.H>
8th of 7, Aug 22 2011
  

       >that the cats still haunt the moors   

       isn't that a bit cruel on those of north African decent?
not_morrison_rm, Aug 24 2011
  

       Yes; and if they not only disliked cats, but were allergic to them as well, it would be Tripoli cruel...
8th of 7, Aug 24 2011
  
      
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