Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
h a l f b a k e r y
Apply directly to forehead.

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cigabeard guard

sir, your beard seems to be alit
  (+8, -1)
(+8, -1)
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This is a common problem among the hursuit smoking community. One minute there's delightful chatter about the last horse in the cup, next minute the admiral's face is on fire due to an excessive beard, moustache, goatee etc, whilst tryin' to light a fag.

This clever device is attached to the cigarette lighter. Using ornate prongs fastened to a metal funnel type contraption, which presses firmly against the upper and lower lip areas - it may allow a generous flame to access the cigarette, cigarello, cigar etc without any stray hairs tempting a fiery furnace of the facial features.

Certain lights may also be attached with ring tone features should a friend or relative choose to call during said function, with varying reactions.

benfrost, Mar 18 2005

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       I'm thinking of a metal beardguard shaped much like the curving guard on a cutlass - Which would work nicely for colourfully bearded gentlemen of a sea-faring persuasion (arrrr).
zen_tom, Mar 18 2005
  

       Alternatively a telescopic cigarette holder - blow to extend and light, suck to contract and smoke.
FarmerJohn, Mar 18 2005
  

       Delightfully well written. [+] Tally-ho!
contracts, Mar 18 2005
  


 

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