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donkeylegs

Slope Donkey
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Picture, if you will, a steeply inclined hill frequented by tourists. The tourists want to get to the top of said steep hill to admire the view. The locals, people living around the base of said hill, find it in their best interests to shuttle the tourists to the top of the hill. The local economy collapsed some time ago with the withdrawal of a multinational textile producer's factory.

Anyway, the locals use donkeys to transport the tourists up the hill - finding that tourists are quite lazy and prefer donkeys to traveling by foot. The trouble is, the hill is very steep which prevents the donkeys from taking a direct line to the top of the hill... instead, the tourist-laden donkeys must walk a circular path around the hill; winding their way nearer and nearer the summit. Each summit attempt can take as many as seven or eight full trips around the steep and tall hill.

The locals are finding that the donkeys are wearing out too quickly. Donkey legs naturally abhor bending and so, after a lifetime of burden and knee flexing on the one side of their body, the donkeys die of sadness.

ENTER SELECTIVE BREEDING!

Simply breed a new type of donkey: one that has two long legs on the left side of his body and two shorter legs on the right. To this new wunderdonk, climbing the steep hill in question (or any steep hill for that matter) would be a piece of cake! And donkeys don't even like cake! Any steep sideways incline would appear perfectly level to them.

Obviously, once these fantastic new creatures reached the top of the hill, they would have to turn around and walk back down. This presents another problem that could be solved by what I like to call the Padded Donkey Ball. Another story for another time...

Markle, Apr 05 2006

Sidehill Gouger http://en.wikipedia...iki/Sidehill_Gouger
Not an invention, and well enough known to have a wikipedia article. [jurist, Apr 06 2006]

[link]






       The problem I see is that they would be fine going up, but when they try to go down, they will tip over.   

       //And donkeys don't even like cake!//   

       Yes they do.
DesertFox, Apr 05 2006
  

       But these will be special selectivelly-bred donkeys with a particular affinity for trotting backwards down the hill, [DF].   

       Trifle, my donkey *loves* trifle.
methinksnot, Apr 05 2006
  

       Just get them walk back down the hill spiralling the other way i.e. one path up (say, clockwise), and one path down (anticlockwise).   

       This might just solve the original problem, without need for crazy breeding.   

       Man says to lop-sided donkey: "fancy going the other way up the hill today?"   

       Donkey replies: "I'm inclined not to".
Texticle, Apr 06 2006
  

       Ha!
methinksnot, Apr 06 2006
  

       The upward path and the downward path would both have to be right-turning, clockwise as seen from above. They would probably intersect one or more times.   

       If paths are constructed, they might as well be made level, side-to-side. The donkeys could be bred in two varieties, one riding uphill and one for riding downhill.   

       If there are no paths, the legs that are shorter on one side would be very useful, as history proves. Ozark folktales include stories of sidehill cows, and describe the difficulties when a left-side cow and a right-side cow meet head-on. Scottish folklore includes a wild animal roaming the hillsides in the in the Highlands, supposedly called a "haggis".
baconbrain, Apr 06 2006
  

       These donkeys are up to something, I know it. They move in some very strange circles.
Texticle, Apr 06 2006
  
      
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