h a l f b a k e r yA few slices short of a loaf.
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no longer will you toss and turn wondering if your expensive garden furniture is safe or your hanging baskets or that rake you left on the lawn is still there ( sounds off stage – “what!”, Thud, whack, “s**t!”). these guys are rough and mean and walk the streets protecting what’s yours. I am thinking
real ugly blokes with hard hats & sticks of dynamite in their pocket and a nifty little pruner in their belt. they keep cats off the petunias, they stop your gnomes going walkabout. they take nasty squidgy bugs off your azaleas. But above all they tiptoe, so as not to wake you up and they keep off the grass.
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Better than the average pun. |
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A real garden angel wouldn't just prevent damage, he would improve it: replace those mamby-pamby primroses with some exotic flora (I don't know what). Or dig up all my peonies and replace them with tea roses and lillies. So add a keen aesthetic sensibility to the job requirements for your angel. |
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no, I liked it better the way it was thank you. everyone thinks they are Alan Titchmarsh these days. tut tut |
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Just find a gardener with a black belt, a Ninja with a green thumb. |
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dunno about the ninja; some of them think five rocks (one mossy) & some carefully raked gravel are a garden; others will rip up your shrubbery to use as camoflauge. |
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Everything nowadays is fashionably rounded, kidney-shaped pools, oval bits of shrubbery, amoeba-shaped plantings of moss roses...I rather like garden angles. (Sorry, po.) |
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being a bit obtuse today, Dog Ed. No apology required. |
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"Is that a stick of dynamite in your pocket or have you been peeking through the Buxus sempervirens again?" |
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Crouching Lilium tigrinum, Hidden Arisaema dracontium. |
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