Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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garden angels

night security for gardens
  (+6, -4)
(+6, -4)
  [vote for,

no longer will you toss and turn wondering if your expensive garden furniture is safe or your hanging baskets or that rake you left on the lawn is still there ( sounds off stage – “what!”, Thud, whack, “s**t!”). these guys are rough and mean and walk the streets protecting what’s yours. I am thinking real ugly blokes with hard hats & sticks of dynamite in their pocket and a nifty little pruner in their belt. they keep cats off the petunias, they stop your gnomes going walkabout. they take nasty squidgy bugs off your azaleas. But above all they tiptoe, so as not to wake you up and they keep off the grass.
po, Mar 28 2002


       Better than the average pun.
beauxeault, Mar 28 2002

       A real garden angel wouldn't just prevent damage, he would improve it: replace those mamby-pamby primroses with some exotic flora (I don't know what). Or dig up all my peonies and replace them with tea roses and lillies. So add a keen aesthetic sensibility to the job requirements for your angel.
quarterbaker, Mar 28 2002

       no, I liked it better the way it was thank you. everyone thinks they are Alan Titchmarsh these days. tut tut
po, Mar 28 2002

       Just find a gardener with a black belt, a Ninja with a green thumb.
dag, Mar 28 2002

       Garden Hell's Angels
thumbwax, Mar 28 2002

       dunno about the ninja; some of them think five rocks (one mossy) & some carefully raked gravel are a garden; others will rip up your shrubbery to use as camoflauge.
hello_c, Mar 29 2002

       Everything nowadays is fashionably rounded, kidney-shaped pools, oval bits of shrubbery, amoeba-shaped plantings of moss roses...I rather like garden angles. (Sorry, po.)
Dog Ed, Mar 29 2002

       being a bit obtuse today, Dog Ed. No apology required.
po, Mar 29 2002

       "Is that a stick of dynamite in your pocket or have you been peeking through the Buxus sempervirens again?"
spartanica, Mar 29 2002

       Crouching Lilium tigrinum, Hidden Arisaema dracontium.
Pseudonym #3, Mar 30 2002


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