Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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hall of mirrors play area for red squirrels

a nice place for red squirrels.
  (+19, -1)(+19, -1)
(+19, -1)
  [vote for,

red squirrels are having a hard time in UK and the few remaining have been driven into remote spots. it seems that the problems are a. they are fussier eaters than their American counterpart. b. there is some kind of poxy virus that they are prone too and c. the fellas lose their sex drive when surrounded by bigger alpha grey types.

now I propose we set up some protected areas especially for red squirrels. plant it out with some of their favourite delicacies and decorate it extensively with hall-of-mirrors type reflective surfaces. I guarantee that when they have all finished falling about laughing at themselves and their mates, they will become immune to size worries and will resume breeding like, well, squirrels.

po, Nov 24 2004

(???) hey cute. never heard of a black variety before. http://home.eol.ca/.../blacksquirrel.html
[po, Nov 24 2004]


       I like it. Or perhaps feed them squirrel viagra.
Worldgineer, Nov 24 2004

       We have black squirrels around here.   

       Can't we just set up a breeding program to mix the color with the eating habits?
DrCurry, Nov 24 2004

       Alternatively - just trap the grey squirrels and berate them until they're impotent.   

       It works...just ask my girlfriend.
shapu, Nov 24 2004

       that is so sad! don't believe what she says willy nilly, look in the mirror!
po, Nov 24 2004

       Actually, that's what she told me to do... </self-deprecation>
shapu, Nov 24 2004

       well, I think you're gorgeous...   

       and back to squirrels...
po, Nov 24 2004

       squirrels are gorgeous too.
Worldgineer, Nov 24 2004

       I drive past the common every morning in the autumn, I always see one grey squirrel posing with his nuts ( and he is painful that he is cute ) but is it the same one? or are there a hundred hiding in the trees?
po, Nov 24 2004

       furry-tailed tree rats. Not much meat on 'em, but otherwise good eating.
Freefall, Nov 24 2004

       Grey squirrel bad, red squirrel good, red squirrel in hall of mirrors - fantastic! Hope the little guys have fun.
wagster, Nov 24 2004

       Oh, they are _that_ kind of funhouse mirror. That's different then.
Worldgineer, Nov 24 2004

       Here in Columbus, OH, we have white squirrels. They are albino, because they have red eyes. They are not uncommon, and there seems to be a gene that shows up frequently near my parents house. When we were kids, my mom told us that the squirrel was white because it was in its underwear.
lawpoop, Nov 24 2004

       When you get their safe haven set up, could you please give dustin a jingle. His favorite, (fantasy), food is squirrel.   

       He's not a prejudiced sorta guy, white, black, red, whatever. It got tail, he got saliva. He also got long, jagged, sharpened claws. Under the fur, they all look alike to him.
blissmiss, Nov 25 2004

       [...waits for random mutation to create red squirrel that will not get freaked out by greys...]
st3f, Nov 25 2004

       or dustin.
po, Nov 25 2004

       po/bliss: I have to believe that a squirrel/cat fight would be pretty fair, or we wouldn't have nearly so many squirrels hereabouts. My guess would be that the squirrels can climb faster to branches that can't support cats (or at least, that the slower ones get Darwinned out). But feedback from the real world appreciated, since I've never actually seen a cat chasing a squirrel.
DrCurry, Nov 26 2004

       I hear more often of squirrels chasing cats. Their rapid turning and clawing abilities give them the advantage.   

       This has more than earned my vote. And yes, I've also seen the white squirrels of Columbus.
squirrelecule, Nov 26 2004

       UB, crickey. is he saying " now where did I hide my nuts?"   

       DrC. I am surprised that cats and squirrels have any interest in each other.
po, Nov 26 2004

       Wow, I wasn't seeing things after all. We saw a black squirrel when we were on honeymoon in Slovenia (former Yugoslavia). Took a photo, but it was as blurred as a UFO shot and the little tree-rat's nowhere to be seen.
david_scothern, Nov 26 2004

       Is there a worry that the females might begin to worry that they're looking bigger, and stop feeling sexy and feminine? Ah, I doubt it [+]
Fishrat, Nov 26 2004

       //waits for random mutation to create red squirrel that will not get freaked out by greys//

Interestingly, I've noticed that the grey squirrels 'round my area are gradually acquiring an increasing amount of red in their fur colour which, I guess, is exactly what the Darwinian theory of evolution would predict. So just wait a while and grey squirrels will turn into red ones eventually anyway. Well, sort of.
DrBob, Nov 26 2004

       At the group home, I watched in horror as a big nasty cat came galloping past the birdfeeder, and while one squirrel was eating birdseed, his "lookout" buddy was grabbed by the scruff of his neck by the cat, who then ran very fast into the woods. Don't know what he did with em then. It was ugly.
blissmiss, Nov 26 2004

       Ha - that's my kind of cat! Don't mourn - the surviving suirrels will be the stronger for it.
DrCurry, Nov 26 2004

       Not sure if this is Darwinism or not, but my dad was in his apartment watching TV when he heard *SNAP* followed by a flickering of the lights. He went outside to investigate only to find a charred squirrel lying next to some power lines.
AfroAssault, Mar 27 2005

       //a squirrel/cat fight//   

       I think it depends on the cat; I was once watching a lawnful of squirrels happily doing squirrel things when the neighbours' fat tabby squeezed under the hedge.   

       For a moment, they froze - "It's a cat!". Then, they relaxed - "Oh, it's *that* cat." - and got on with what they were doing.
pertinax, Nov 16 2006

       Sort of off topic - In the Lake District they've erected rope bridges that are suspended high above the roads so that the squirrels can cross without getting squished. Nice.
jtp, Nov 16 2006

       We have problems with possums in the power lines here. Nobody much minds the charred possums (possums are a bit of a nuisance especially in the garbage cans) but it sometimes puts the power out for hours.
cetacean, Nov 16 2006

       you could set up a little gentleman's club for all the impotent squirrels.
abhorsen1983, Nov 16 2006


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