h a l f b a k e r yStill more entertaining than cricket.
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You're at a cocktail party and you stumble into the kitchen to escape the noisy party for a breath or two of fresh air.
What's this? you say, eyeing the kettle in a drug riddled haze. A pair of pursed female robotic lips are fitted into its side, smooth and moistened by mechanical means - undulating
with a long slippery tongue as you switch it on. You groan as the appliance undulates and throbs with a realistic swallow effect, warm artificial saliva dripping onto your trousers. Your eyes dart about the room - lips o' fun on the toaster blow you a kiss, the waffle iron bites its bottom lip, the juicer puffs hard on a marlboro and ooohhh my god ...
the host of the party walks in and you put the kettle back nervously on the bench, do up your fly and get the first taxi back to the hospital.
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Erm. Well. Uh. Hmm. It has a tongue, you say? |
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So the idea is dual function sex toys/food preparation devices? |
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I hope you didn't eat or drink anything at that cocktail party. [-] |
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I don't get it. Is it just a hallucination or just cute attachments for kitchen appliances? Either way, I'm scared. |
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Not sure a kettle would be the best choice for this, from a liability standpoint. |
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Skip the party and go straight to the hospital, it'll save ya some time. |
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I knew it was you when I got to //undulating with a long slippery tongue//. Get help [ben], before you scald your lips. |
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OK, I've had it with the halfbakery wank-fest. Please either find something to talk about other than your genitalia or some other place to do the talking. |
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well there is a sex toy section in halfbakery. some of my ideas are filthy, but i feel they reflect with irony the filthy world we live in. point taken however :) |
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It's not that I never want anyone to talk about sex; but lately, we've had three or four newcomers (and some oldtimers like you) who are all joining in the dick-waving fray, and I've simply had enough. It's not transgressive or interesting anymore if every other idea on the halfbakery goes for the shock value. |
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(And they're all just "cultural" ideas - it's not like anyone actually invents a new sex toy or something here. ...)
Maybe we can consider the filthy world we live in sufficiently ironically reflected at this juncture. Just for a week or so. |
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It's odd enough that every idea posted on this category after the crash has gotten a majority of negative votes. Maybe people are extra strict when it comes to inventing something that's supposed to have contact with his/her genitals. |
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"What was I going to do? Take away your only hope?" |
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