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inflatable condom

solve two problems with one handy appliance
  (+2, -10)(+2, -10)
(+2, -10)
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(sort of inspired by sphocks).

In the modern world, the gentleman about town has two problems when it comes to intimate relations with the opposite gender (or even with the same gender; I guess this applies equally to such interactions).

First, the need for safe sex, which means condoms - fiddly, messy, difficult (often painful) to put on, replenish supplies, not run out at the wrong time, disposing of afterwards. The general non-user-friendliness of condoms leads a lot of people to want to dispense with them altogether.

Second, the issue of equipment size. Accustomed as we are to more of everything, and with the free availability of internet porn to up the ante, gentlemen often find that they do not measure up to expectations, leading to disappointment for both partners.

Hence the inflatable condom. This is a large-size, thicker-than-usual condom (so reusable) made of two condoms joined together at the opening, kind of like the sphock. The second is then pushed inside the first; an air tube is positioned at the interface, and runs to a small valve and pump (a squeezable rubber bulb).

To use, the penetrator puts the (deflated) condom over the equipment, then uses the pump to inflate the condom until it fits snugly. Penetration can then take place. Squeezing the bulb during intercourse allows the apparent size of the appendage to be increased arbitrarily, thus (possibly) doubling the penetratee's fun.

bumhat, Sep 16 2006

Breathable Condom Breathable_20Condom
[Texticle, Sep 18 2006]


       you lost me at *equipment* but then I didn't understand sphocks and believed that I was shoving both feet into one sock and was left wondering how the f**k I got to walk in these things... never mind f**k in your wonderful gizmos...   

       would the dragons care to invest £20,000 on any of these marketing gems?
po, Sep 16 2006

       // thus (possibly) doubling the penetratee's fun// .. or possibly allowing the item to pop off in an amusing but ultimately unfotunate way.   

       //difficult (often painful) to put on,// ...hmmm. Not in my experience. You need more practice, [bumhat] ;) Either that or I do. Probably the latter. In fact, definitely the latter, but you might need it too... unless you're just unfeasibly large, or something.   

       //To use, the penetrator puts the (deflated) condom over the equipment, then uses the pump to inflate the condom until it fits snugly.//
.. okay, I thought I understood until I got to this sentence. Surely if you've got it on then why do you need to inflate it? Or are you *deflating* it for a truly snug fit?

       //thicker than usual// oh now, you see, my main gripe against condoms is that you can't feel anything through them anyway. And you've just made it thicker. Booooo! Fishbone, for that if nothing else.
moomintroll, Sep 17 2006

       Back to drawing board, make me a condom I don't know is there.
Zus, Sep 17 2006

       This is for womens pleasure only. No man would want to put on all of these penis accessories and reduce his pleasure in order to pleasure his partner more. Especially if she is mocking the size of his Carl jr.
Phaedrus, Sep 18 2006

       Wouldn't work for women's pleasure either. Get a bit of air in a regular condom and you might as well be shagging a party balloon and have to put a new one on. All squashy. Not stiff. No fun.
squeak, Sep 18 2006

       "difficult (often painful) to put on"
Take the foil off first.
st3f, Sep 18 2006

       "This is for womens pleasure only." Yeah, right. This sounds like JUST what women want. That, and a guy who talks about "pleasuring" his partner (I presume through the medium of poor grammar, in Phaedrus's case).   

       Condoms are "penis accessories" in much the same way that coils and caps are uterine jewellery.   

       Bumhat - buy your partner a Rabbit.
Murdoch, Sep 18 2006

       So you are inflating the space between two layers of rubber? This way both partners can get the sensation of boffing a blow up doll?(-)
Galbinus_Caeli, Sep 18 2006

       I have sometimes tried to imagine the conversations that would take place in a world where condoms were not widely known, but some few perverts liked to use one. "See, Doc, I have this thing like a balloon that I put over my old fella so that I can have sex with a woman without touching her . . .." Or, "Wait a second, Honey, I want to put this on to keep your stuff off me. Hey, where you goin'?" Or, "Wrap this constrictive device around your erection, and try to keep it from squeezing all the fun out."
baconbrain, Sep 18 2006

       Add helium and you have a device fit to send someone on a very embarassing flight.
jmvw, Sep 18 2006

       //Wrap this constrictive device around your erection, and try to keep it from squeezing all the fun out// - HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! <gasps>
wagster, Sep 18 2006

       Sheep gut.
wagster, Sep 18 2006

       Did someone say /condoms that are not in any way inflatable/?   

Texticle, Sep 18 2006


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