Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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naff appliance reminders

Don't forget those naff appliances!
  [vote for,

Picture the scene - you return home from the shops with your lovely new sandwich toaster. Enthused with the novelty and in awe of a new world of sandwich flavours you dive headlong into what you expect to be a lifetime's investigation into square-shaped food preparation. A short time later (research suggests approx 3 weeks) having exhausted your imagination and failed to invent the all-in-one-Christmas-roast-dinner-sandwich (US read thanksgiving) complete with soggy brussel sprouts, your now stained and shabby appliance is carefully hidden away in the least accessible cupboard in your kitchen (usually by your partner while you are out) alongside the popcorn maker, salad spinner and oddly shaped plastic vessel intended for poaching goose livers in the microwave.

If you are lucky, then some time (much) later you accidentally stumble across said appliance while looking for your old 1/2-a-cup-if-you're-lucky cappuccino maker. For a few brief days the sandwich toaster is restored to your kitchen worktop and you and your partner can re-live those glory days of sandwich subsistence all over again.

But what if you never went back to the cupboard? - The delights you would miss! NO I can't allow it. Step forward the automatic appliance reminder. This small device would be attached to the front of your kitchen 'junk' cupboard (you know you have one). Manufacturers of appliances who know they have a maximum usefulness of about a fortnight would supply with each appliance a multi-sensory reminder pack (MSRP) to an agreed interface standard. When you finally hide away the appliance you simply detach the MSRP and plug it into the appliance reminder device (which could accept a max of 10 plug-ins). At appropriate intervals (6 months?) after the stashing, the reminder device would trigger the release of the specially prepared sensory reminders from the plug in to alert you to the world of fun you are missing out on. Examples:

Powdered smell-of-burning-bacon for the infamous sandwich toaster, Popping noise and vaguely salty smell for the popcorn maker, Splashing and grinding noise with fruity smell for the mixer, Fire-engine sirens for the deep-fat-fryer


<invites ridicule>P.S. Newbie so please be gentle</invites ridicule>

dobtabulous, Aug 15 2003


       perhaps requires bluetooth for each appliance to do away with the detachable MSRP, and a GPS sensor so you can find its location in the cupboard...
suctionpad, Aug 15 2003

       The idea of the MSRP would be that it could contain all the raw material for making smells (as per scratch'n'sniff technology) since olfactory stimulation is a great way to make you think 'I haven't eaten a pine-nut and broccoli sandwich for months'. Audio clips and even a mist-spray with droplets of water laced with an appropriate taste (cranberry?) could be included. The manufacturer would have to provide all this. I don't think Bluetooth includes a spec for this!
dobtabulous, Aug 15 2003

       This is very good. Forlorn appliances whimpering in the dark.
bristolz, Aug 15 2003

       I'm going to go home tonight and search the boxes in the basement and see if I can find my crockery cooker! +
mwburden, Aug 15 2003

       [bris] Not good, my fire alarms do that all the time because they think the house isn't on fire often enough. Drives me nuts. The appliances should pop out a little red flag to attract attention.
kbecker, Aug 15 2003

       Your warranty registration could be registered in the manufacturer's database as a trigger to send you, via e-mail, a new batch of recipes appropriate to the appliance at the same time the MSRP is scheduled to activate.
lurch, Aug 15 2003

       +Great idea. I am scared to look in my junk cupboard.
<Slightly off topic> My mum used to have an Automatic Cocktail Stirrer manufactured by Pifco or Ronco in the early seventies. Basically it was a battery powered spoon saving you the 'trouble' of moving your wrist.Unbelievable</s-o-t>
gnomethang, Aug 16 2003

       (+) Tonight I fondue.   

       newbie = new blood = bloody good +
FarmerJohn, Aug 17 2003

       ditto, and WTAGIPBAN.
krelnik, Aug 17 2003

       (what's WTAGIPBAN?)
phundug, Aug 17 2003

       Wasn't That A Great Idea Posted By A Newbie.
//Great idea, great writing style, I hope you're here to stay. + fogfreak//
Kickass style. Midway through a miserable summer, the drought has ended.
It fits perfectly into the the 'bakery scheme of things. +
thumbwax, Aug 17 2003

       Thanks for your kind comments.   

       mwburden - what is a "crockery cooker"? (I'll take my desert bowl pie well-done with a saucer coolie please).
dobtabulous, Aug 18 2003

       Sometimes called a "crock pot," it's a countertop cooking vessel, usually ceramic and with its own heating source, used to slow cook foods at low temperatures.
bristolz, Aug 18 2003

       Thanks bristolz - I know this as a 'slow cooker'. And I think there's one in the back of my cupboard. QED
dobtabulous, Aug 18 2003

       Heh! I keep my naff appliances in a little ghetto area of the kitchen, all huddled together near a single, slightly dodgy socket. They've all got some small part either damaged or missing altogether and they look so sad and vulnerable. When I've had a bad day at work I like to harangue and bully them and wave my latest shiny, new appliance at them just to humiliate the poor things a bit more.
DrBob, Aug 18 2003

       I see a Dreamworks cartoovie about the mis-adventures of forgotten kitchen appliances in the future.
RayfordSteele, Aug 18 2003

       starring Mr Automatic Potato Peeler Head?
dobtabulous, Aug 18 2003

       //mwburden - what is a "crockery cooker"?   

       What Bristolz said.
mwburden, Aug 18 2003

       Sorry. I guess it was yours to answer.
bristolz, Aug 18 2003

       I spent much of my life throwing out my parents naff appliances. They never knew. And I must bear the guilt of it for years to come! Oh, if only... +
k_sra, Aug 20 2003

       mmm this reminds me, I should get out my little sandwich maker this weekend. It's been in my junk cupboard for at least two years now. (scared to see what else may be lurking back there though) Great idea - + !
Mamamoose, Aug 20 2003

       mmmm... ice cream maker.....
Fishrat, Nov 07 2003


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