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stuff that gets even when stolen

Yes another derivative idea, but all the same...
  (+26, -3)(+26, -3)(+26, -3)
(+26, -3)
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I really like futurebird's post about stuff that gets sad when it gets stolen but..why get sad, when you can GET EVEN?
So now, if your car is stolen, it lulls the thief into a false sense of security by behaving normally, but when it senses a steep incline - suddenly the brakes don't work.
Or someone steals your walkman, and after playing normally for an hour it suddenly blasts the culprit with a full volume burst which blows their eardrums...
goff, Jan 29 2002

stuff that gets sad when stolen http://www.halfbake...sad_20when_20stolen
Futurebird's original, original post [goff, Jan 29 2002, last modified Oct 05 2004]

The Ransom of Red Chief http://eserver.org/...m-of-red-chief.html
by O. Henry [beauxeault, Jan 29 2002, last modified Oct 05 2004]

Stolen Imac phones home, is recovered. http://www.macscrip...net/un_ilojack.html
An amazing story about a stolen imac running Timbuktu (a remote desktop app) that was recovered after it called to see if anyone wanted to connect to it. A guilty plea to a Receiving Stolen Merchandise charge was obtained. [td, Jan 29 2002, last modified Oct 05 2004]

Attacky, isn't it? http://www.dog-in-a...ges/disk-4/1122.jpg
[thumbwax, Oct 04 2004, last modified Oct 05 2004]

She sells seashells with cats in them by the seashore http://www.dog-in-a...ges/cats/c-1420.jpg
[thumbwax, Oct 04 2004, last modified Oct 05 2004]

Hindsight http://www.saf.org/...sight/hs011000.html
indiscriminate response, illegal, immoral [jvonr, Oct 04 2004, last modified Oct 05 2004]

a working link to the story contained in the third link from the top...
[normzone, Sep 18 2005]


       my umbrella would fold down on culprits head tightly and irrevocably. My stolen pen would leak all over their best suit.
po, Jan 29 2002

       Looks like you're using a stolen keyboard.
phoenix, Jan 29 2002

       A stolen computer will seem to work just fine but it also sends an alert to the local gendarmes where to find it.   

       (My first post; hope I didn't mess it up.)
threeoutside, Jan 29 2002

       [threeoutside]: No, you didn't mess it up (at least it doesn't look like you did; depends on what you intended to do, I suppose), but a stolen computer that alerts the police is not really half-baked. Even a semi-permanent BSoD doesn't quite fit the bill. A stolen computer that mis-spells everything, or calculates things incorrectly, or navigates to the wrong web-page is more like what we're after.
angel, Jan 29 2002

       How about a mobile that registers an interest with the sales departments of every avaliable double glazer, kitchen designer, insurance seller etc?
mcscotland, Jan 29 2002

       Half baked by O. Henry (see link).
beauxeault, Jan 29 2002

       Have just re-read and realised how bad spelling etc. was. Apologies. Hope I've now corrected it all...
goff, Jan 29 2002

       [mcscotland] Ouch! That's some revenge!   

       [threeoutside] How about a computer when stolen acts normally for a few days, and then invests all of the thief's money in Enron stock?
mwburden, Jan 29 2002

       Nice thought mcscotland. Accept of course, it will be ringing up the sales departments on your bill...
goff, Jan 29 2002

       Eventually stuff will take revenge when stolen, and then have fits of remorse caused by either developing kidnapee's sympathy for the thieves or (for your more complicated, upscale stuff) realizing that it enjoyed the revenge and could not possibly risk the safety of its original owner by being returned.
hello_c, Jan 29 2002

       Kind of like that Kids in the Hall episode I mentioned in the original Sad Idea.
barnzenen, Jan 29 2002

       I bought a laptop computer on eBay last year. It arrived on September 13, with a return address from a guy with an obviously Arabic name. I emailed him to offer condolences for the fact that he would have to suffer the horror of the attacks as well as the suspicions of those around him because of his ethnicity.   

       And then I installed a firewall to make sure there weren't and pesky little trojan horses installed, that might try to contact the mother ship.
beauxeault, Jan 29 2002

       Astoundingly, this idea is baked (see link.)
td, Jan 29 2002

       Hi, [Meph].
angel, Jan 30 2002

       I had been looking for info on security systems and alarms on Google and I got a link to this idea page instead.... Geez, thanks a lot. (J/K) Seriously, this is a pretty cool idea. But it seems like crooks will always find a way to circumvent whatever protections we try to put on our stuff, and they will most certainly try not to feel guilty about it.   

       On this topic, I suggest a computer that can, from afar, be set to display only a blue screen with white letters that say, "Mwahahahahahaha!!!"
polartomato, Jun 14 2002

       Put some links up from a little now-deleted idea I had called *Attacktcotchke" - kudos to phoenix for providing the proper location for pics, instead of as a new idea.
thumbwax, Dec 08 2002

       Dangerous idea. Where might it lead? Felony. See Hindsight link.
jvonr, Jan 03 2003

       //When somebody steals the wallet and brings it out of range of the owner, the radio receiver stops detecting the signal, and sets off a small but powerful explosive device.//   

       Um, actual case of a guy who robbed a bank, stuffed the money bag in his pants, then was, um, injured when the paint pack went off. (Can't track down a link to the story at the moment, but for five bucks I'll try.) Best part was, he then sued.   

       Anyone who's seen Out of Sight, the bit about bank robbers being idiots seems to hold: One I knew indirectly because borrowed this girl's bike to rob a bank since he was headed for state prison and wanted to go federal - reason: the federal pen allowed smoking.   

       Another, who I knew well, escaped the police chase/car crash by running to a bus stop. A cruiser came along and the cop asked if anyone had seen anything suspicious, then asked my pal why his head was bleeding. If the guy had just said, "Oh, I slipped on the ice," the cop would have driven off to search for the thieves. Instead, he replied, "My head's not bleeding!" He got to spend the next six years considering a better response - kinda made the cop suspicious.   

       On the original idea, I have a question: My friends had a new high-end car alarm installed. They came back to their car to find someone had stolen... the car alarm. For revenge, what would it do?
rowlycat, Jan 03 2003

       Obviously, it would go off at 2 in the morning, and then refuse to shut down.
Detly, Aug 04 2003

       i've allways liked the idea of decoy theft items. why go to the trouble of making your pen smart enough to leak on the culprit if the intended use is writeing.   

       remote detonated explosives in a nice looking pen on your desk. you dont have to worry about the other pens being taken, because the good one is right there. when you come back from lunch and its missing, you sipmly pull out your detonater and press the red button. a flash of light and a boom come from a cubicle across the room, identifying the culprit while punishing him in the process.   

       i myself plan on trying this soon. not with explosives, mind you, with sandwitches.   

       ever have a roomate that takes your food from the refrigerator without asking? well, i will put a "mine, dont take" lable on a salmanela infested sandwitch and see what happens.
HalfwayHebrew, Aug 04 2003

       A sand witch? Shirley no one would want to touch one of them, I hear they're quite nasty, casting desert spells on you and all... :p
ghillie, Apr 22 2004

       include blade's sword...
aeox, Apr 22 2004

       I used to keep wasabi peas on my desk in a bowl after a coworker kept snarfing my munchies... watching the guy grab a handful of those things without knowing what they were-- that was fun.
zigness, Apr 22 2004

DesertFox, Sep 17 2005

       jz, th -ky's stoppd working... Buggr! I knw I shuldn't hv bght ths dmnd cmptr frm tht gy in th pb.
Dub, Sep 18 2005

       I posted this idea over in the "things that get sad when stolen" idea first, but here might seem even more appropriate. What about a device that after getting stolen it told other devices of its past? Like, maybe the thief has a computer which he paid for, but stole a stereo.   

       Imagine this conversation... Stereo: "Hey, computer! Your owner just stole me. Wha'd'ya think about that?" Computer: "Aw, man. That jerk. You gonna stop working then?" Stereo: "Sure am. You should too." Computer: "Sounds like a plan. No more computer for this guy. Oh, and tell the toaster."   

       Hahahah!! =)
pigonthewing, Jan 31 2006

       Many times over the past 20 years I have heard about computer games that appear to have no copy protection, but when they are copied, they recognise this, and are much harder to play, Some also add new elements that make it obvous that the game is copied.   

       Gamer: "Could you help me, I can't get past the falling safe on level 3" Helpline Worker: "Just wait a moment sir, (While I call the police) What was your address again..."   

       Maybe this was all just a bluff by the game industry, to disuade us from copying.....
Minimal, Feb 01 2006

       I had a game with "protection" along the same lines. It was a game that deployed viruses into your computer if you tried to copy it. It then infected the bootleg, making it futile. Argh, I'm trying to remember the name of the game, but I destroyed it after a while. Shame, I probably could've sued.
Shadow Phoenix, Nov 28 2007

       I had a game with "protection" along the same lines. It was a game that deployed viruses into your computer if you tried to copy it. It then infected the bootleg, making it futile. Argh, I'm trying to remember the name of the game, but I destroyed it after a while. Shame, I probably could've sued. Oh well, guess I'll have to settle for self-destructing stuff (yes, even my erasers blow up when stolen, or so I wish.)
Shadow Phoenix, Nov 28 2007

       1. A guy drops his wallet 2. A good samaritan picks it up 3. Half way to the police station (to turn the wallet in) it explodes 4. The guy gets arrested for stealing the wallet
keithbrunkala, Nov 28 2007


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