Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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The gas you pass won't pass this.
  (+10, -4)
(+10, -4)
  [vote for,

This is a specially designed pair of boxer shorts with an insert in the seat that is made of activated charcoal lined with cotton. When you fart, the pad not only muffles the noise, but the gas passes through the charcoal and the smell gets filtered out.
dpenguin, Mar 31 2000

(?) Flatulence Filter http://www.flatulence-filter.com/
Originally known as the "Toot Trapper", this filter is implemented as a seat cushion. [Eeyore, Mar 31 2000, last modified Oct 04 2004]

Under-Ease http://www.under-tec.com/
Underwear with replaceable filter [neelandan, Jan 24 2002, last modified Oct 04 2004]

Flairt http://www.devilducky.com/media/55095/
[Dub, Jan 25 2007]

(?) Baked! http://www.shreddiesgifts.com/giftware/
[hippo, May 27 2012]

[hippo]s' link won't load but here's another. http://imgur.com/gallery/VezbTfe
[2 fries shy of a happy meal, Apr 18 2014]

MyShreddies https://www.myshreddies.com
Yes, this is a real thing [hippo, Sep 08 2019]


       sounds like fancy maxi pads for men.
lyse, Nov 19 2000

       Farts were made to enjoy ! Please don't mask
misa hornee, Nov 28 2000

       Wouldn't this tend to thicken one's behind noticeably, even when concealed in a funky pair of pink camo' UFO(tm) brand jeans? Wouldn't want that stigmata.   

       Of course, I'm not the sort to wear pink camo' UFOs, and they sell reasonably well, I am told.
jester, Jan 24 2002

       Don't fart too hard, you might crap your pants.
jeffman, Jul 24 2003

       They make headphones that reduce background noise. Why not develope a similar device that reduces the sound electronically. Also, I have seen air filters that ionize the air to reduce odor. Using both of these technologies, one could effectivly eliminate this problem.
JesseOQ, Aug 01 2003

       Dub, the link you added is to a report of the product that was mentioned here in the link right above yours, more than five years ago.
jutta, Jan 25 2007

       Although the odor might be suppressed by a proper suppository the noise is a problem. Embarrassment might be minimized by having a group of pseudofart noisemakers distributed around the room activated by remotes held by everybody. If anybody hears a fart coming on he or she could press the remote so that a chorus of farts would resound through the room and nobody in particular could be held guilty.
JSand, Jan 25 2007

       Oh fart
Dub, Jan 25 2007

       Did you mean oaf art?
JSand, Jan 25 2007

       Well, it could be a fire hazard if it's a dry fart and the cotton is statically charged, and you know how activated charcoal/cotton are flammable materials....Instead, you should try using adult sized asbestos diapers, a 9-volt battery, and a butt/spark plug with a gas check-valve activated igniter switch. (warning: Farter beware, don't smoke the diaper)
quantum_flux, Nov 19 2008

       Yet another step towards becoming carbon neutral..
samosa_pirate, Nov 21 2008

       I would much prefer a method of making the flatulence louder and more stinky.
MikeD, Nov 23 2008

       Well then, eat bean chile and garlic, buy yourself a loudspeaker, and let-er-rip then.
quantum_flux, Nov 24 2008

       A high surface area that allows non-polar particals to adhere to it.
quantum_flux, Nov 25 2008

       //louder and more stinky//   

       Go on a course of antibiotics. Then drink a cocktail laced with the sludge from an anaerobic digestor gas plant. Eat lots of green stuff.
neelandan, Nov 25 2008

       " knitted by nanas" [hippo]
po, May 29 2012


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