Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Homicide Body Outline Break Dance and Sex Aid

pedagogic projection system
  [vote for,

Each click of the remote control flashes one of hundreds of authentic murder outlines onto your bed. The unit easily mounts on a 100 watt bulb in the socket of your ceiling light fixture. The diagrams are accompanied by appropriate music and the computer-generated voices of Barry White and Queen Victoria to guide your every move, as if narrating a nature documentary on the love life of Bonobo chimps.

Just position your body/bodies in the pleasure postures, and your genital dreadlocks and key-to-my-heart, pierce-hung, keychain will be displayed in their best light. Angle the projector towards the floor for continued “aerotics” or to hop your hips in a beginner’s break dance. You’ll soon advance to the expert level doing head pirouettes guided by a battery-powered projector attached to a blade of the ceiling fan.

FarmerJohn, Mar 27 2004

Do crime scene investigators really draw a chalk line around the body? http://www.straight...columns/010413.html
"They do not outline bodies with chalk anymore." Even fluorescent paint has been used and contaminates the evidence. [FarmerJohn, Oct 05 2004, last modified Oct 21 2004]


       "Darling, I didn't want to say anything, but..."

"Yes Dierdre?"

"Would you feel better if we used a less powerful lens on the projector?"
hippo, Mar 27 2004

       I think I'd rather follow along on a video tape.   

       On an interesting side note, the homicide chalk outline displayed in countless movies and television shows is a work of fiction. Real homicide detectives have NEVER used chalk outlines to depict where the bodies were. Real forensic experts cringe when they see it since even drawing the line would possibly destroy evidence and contaminate the crime scene. A defense attorney would love that.
Nitehawk, Mar 27 2004

       According to The Straight Dope link real homicide detectives HAVE used chalk outlines.
FarmerJohn, Mar 27 2004

       At my life drawing class if the model wants to take a break in the middle of a long pose, his/her outline will sometimes be marked out in chalk to assist in getting back to the same position after the break.
hippo, Mar 27 2004

       I missed that site in my search [FarmerJohn] but it pretty much says that it was done in the past by a small number of detectives or over zealous officers. Change the NEVER to ALMOST never.
Nitehawk, Mar 27 2004

       This one had tears rolling down my face, in laughter. I guess time will heal...
blissmiss, Nov 06 2004


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