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Pick up strategy
  [vote for,

dating strategy: walk up to random people on the street that you become progressively selective about, and say to them, "hold my hand" and then hold their hand really gently and look deeply into their eyes and don't blink until they look away first and then have a catch phrase like "it's the real thing" that you can implant into people's consciousness right after they've fallen in love with you. Some of them will fall in love with you and eventually you will have a large harem of followers and you will be scoring all over the place. Fuck Yeah!
JesusHChrist, Sep 09 2017


       Hmmm. Let us know how this works out for you.
8th of 7, Sep 09 2017

       Well, the Beatles just sang about holding hands and look at the reaction they got.   

       Your idea makes me think of robot girlfriends. The subtle interplay of hands during handholding could be described with a deep learning model, so that the robot girlfriend was at 99th percentile or higher of being good at holding hands, with gentle squeezes, etc. causing holding hands with them to be better that the real thing almost all the time.   

       If these were ancient days of yore, when VR gloves were the talk of the computer world, you could have a beatlesesque strategy. Lets say 1 out of 300 persons that listened to the beatles around 1962 got tremendous crushes on them, and then became the actually hysterical ly romantic crowds at shows playing "I wanna hold your hand."   

       Then the thing is to automate hand holding with a million people simultaneously to generate a few thousand swooning crushes. If VR gloves had caught on, you could literally hold hands with that many people.
beanangel, Sep 09 2017

       There is actually science behind this. In eye contact studies, random strangers were paired with each other and told to make uninterrupted eye contact for several minutes. Then they were quizzed on the attractiveness of their partner. Many of the test subjects rated their partners as more attractive after the trial than before, and many went on to date and fornicate, with some even ruining their lives in matrimony.
LimpNotes, Sep 09 2017

       Sorry, I don't want to know the knowledge tricks. I want it to happen naturally.
wjt, Sep 09 2017

       //naturally.// sp. accidently?
LimpNotes, Sep 09 2017

       Sp. MessiahILF
pertinax, Sep 09 2017

       Sp. Accidentally
pertinax, Sep 09 2017

       PS: There's a difference between, on the one hand, a process involving another person's un-manipulated input and, on the other hand, an accident. People who can't see that difference are known as psychopaths.
pertinax, Sep 09 2017

       Noted. And if someone dresses nicely or presents flowers, is that manipulation? And if they wear makeup, is that manipulation? I'd say it is, but I'd also say that is the point. At least in the first stages of prospecting and infatuation. Eye gazing goes beyond that though in that it is mutually affectual. At least for people who are not psychopaths. In real love attachments (generally created over time) eye gazing can restore or ignite a "spark". Is that manipulation? Again, I'd say it was. Is it bad like wearing someone else's face around the house? No.

I think closer to the animal kingdom model than the Disney fairy-tale model. There is NOT a special someone out there just for you, that when you meet, you'll fall instantly in love, and birds will be singing and shit. Instead... if someone is sitting around doing nothing to attract a mate, but they want one, better results could be had through making yourself more attractive, advertising, and courtship, following the example of nearly every other species of animal on the planet.

Of course there is the known paradigm of not doing anything to actively attract others, just be yourself (admirable) and if someone is attracted, things will progress. Maybe. By accident. When this works it works well, probably for lack of pretense... the ever present danger in the first model. But I see many lonely good people who wallow here. But maybe I missed something, so I ask.

Also, I think that true lasting love has almost nothing to do with these basic models, and is more a function of time spent together tolerating each others crap. But you have to start somewhere.
LimpNotes, Sep 10 2017

       //There is NOT a special someone out there just for you, that when you meet, you'll fall instantly in love, and birds will be singing and shit//   

       Don't be too sure of that. Except for the birds singing part. Not much birdsong in winter around here.   

       So, like twenty some years ago now I'm in line at the grocery store with my best friend at the time and I lock gazes with a woman three aisles over that makes me forget myself for a few seconds. It wasn't her looks, I hadn't spoken with her, could have already been married for all I knew.
I elbowed my buddy in the ribs and said, "See that chick over there? I'm going to be with her for a very long time." He tells me to fuck off and we both go back to standing in line.
Later in the week I'm tiling this guys fireplace and he's grilling me to the point where I wonder if he's trying to date me when he says, "You should meet my daughter."
I'm ok with this and more than a little relieved to learn what was up with the interrogation.
He tells her that he met someone that needs a bookkeeper and sets up a meeting.
I had no idea he was the father of the woman from the store.

       We've been married for seventeen years now.   

LimpNotes, Sep 10 2017

       // birds will be singing and shit //   

       Actually, that's a fair representation of about half of what most birds do, the other half being eating and making more birds.
8th of 7, Sep 11 2017

       Yeah you'd think that Jesus would know how to spell Messiah.
RayfordSteele, Sep 11 2017

       And Elf.
MaxwellBuchanan, Sep 11 2017

       //We've been married for seventeen years now.// That's impressive, congratulations. I didn't even know you could keep a woman sedated for that length of time.
MaxwellBuchanan, Sep 11 2017

JesusHChrist, Sep 11 2017

       Note to the interested: There are things called cuddle parties, where people make out, but do not have sex. You can go to meetup.com search cuddle party and find one, perhaps in your city.
beanangel, Sep 11 2017


       sp: satisfied   

       // Note to the interested: There are things called cuddle parties //   

       We're not interested. The Collective is one huge, continuous cuddle party.
8th of 7, Sep 11 2017

       Unh unh
JesusHChrist, Sep 11 2017

       Now that just took a turn for the creepy...
RayfordSteele, Sep 12 2017


       Although... if the Borg are all connected and orgasm simultaneously the perhaps we can remodulate the forward full frontal array to cause a temporal-spatial anomaly inducing a multiple Borgasm lasting long enough to penetrate their shields captain!   

       //sp. accidently//   

       sp. inconsequentially unless cars, collisions or humorous falls are involved.
wjt, Sep 13 2017

       //keep a woman sedated//   

       Actually not that funny. Fishbone for that annotation, [MB].
pertinax, Sep 16 2017

       //I see many lonely good people who wallow here. //   

       That's a good point, [limpnotes]. I think there is a distinction between, on the one hand, taking action to become more attractive and, on the other hand, being manipulative, but it's a subtle one. For example, one person might bring flowers with the thought "if I were her, I might like to be brought flowers in this situation". Another might do so with the thought "If I bring flowers then that should induce a small oxytocin rush which will help me get into her knickers later." Objectively, the action is the same, but the latter case is manipulative, whereas the former is not.   

       I actually wrote a short book (many years ago now) to help precisely those lonely good people, but it always worried me that the same advice intended to help them could also empower stupid bad people.
pertinax, Sep 16 2017

       //but the latter case is manipulative, whereas the former is not.//

I disagree. I'd say they were both manipulative, but more on that later.

I can acknowledge that both men and women are motivated by sex based on physical attraction. And that they are also motivated by the idea of a relationship. And that these two desires sometimes coexist with a prospect and generate a concurrent interest, but not always. And that, being two separate desires, pursuing one of them does not necessitate pursuing the other. I will also go so far as to say that for men, the motive is primarily sex based and for women, primarily relationship based.

I'd say that prior to farting around each other, manipulation is an essential component for achieving these desires, but after farting, things are explicit enough to be about the relationship as you've described, one where truly selfless acts of endearment can actually exist.

There is a beautiful scene,a masterpiece of cinema really, in the movie Willow, where Madmartigan has disguised himself as a woman. A man, Llug, becomes smitten, and utters the completely explicit proposition: "Wanna breed?" A truly non-manipulative courtship.

The joke of course is that only a barbarian would be so bold, and while being bold works well enough, explicit proposals are lesser preferred to seduction. And so, when a man brings a woman flowers, he is not deviating from his primarily sexual motives. He is however, playing along with a seduction requirement that the woman has made (her own manipulation based primarily on a relationship motive or at least a desire to not be perceived as cheap and/or easy). In the end both parties compromise after the level of tension exceeds their better judgements. The man develops feelings and the woman consents.

In instances where women do not get what they want, it is because the tension is so powerful that relationship negotiations don't stand a chance or alternatively, the men do not play into the manipulation. We see this happen with bad boys, players, and men of great status and power.

In instances where the men don't get what they want, its because they are not attractive or seductive enough to build that tension to a tipping point or again, the women involved do not play into the manipulation. The infamous "friend-zone".
LimpNotes, Sep 17 2017

       // to help precisely those lonely good people, but it always worried me that the same advice intended to help them could also empower stupid bad people. //   

       The Law of Unintended Consequences strikes again ...   

       What about stupid good people, and lonely bad people ? Do they get a say ?   

       The cop who gives you a speeding ticket is the same cop who catches the guy who stole your car. The chemical that relives your dying parent's agonizing pain is the same one that kids abuse on the street. The high-speed datalink that keeps you in touch with your children also allows a predatory paedophile to target your niece ...   

       Everything has a downside. Everything is capable of being repurposed for evil.   

       Any suggestions as to how to fix this ?*   

       *This question is not rhetorical.
8th of 7, Sep 17 2017

       "Any suggestions as to how to fix this ?*"   

       Kind of, from the perspective of computers people move very very slowly. Having everything on video, and having robots completely "nannyize" humans could actually block all unintended effects. The Chinese with their "people score" linked to computers that read emotions, if not minds, could make all associations pleasant.   

       Another possibility is nanotechnology with 1 person 1 planet and robot girlfriends.
beanangel, Sep 17 2017

       Unh unh!
JesusHChrist, Sep 17 2017


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