Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
h a l f b a k e r y
Like gliding backwards through porridge.

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(Quite small) roller-coaster in your kitchen

In this case, in your microwave oven.
  [vote for,

The device is a set of roller-coaster tracks, and a small set of roller-coaster cars.

If I have to type roller-coaster one more time, I will scream, so let's just settle on RC, I thank you for your understanding, in advance.

Anyway, the first RC car has a small high-temperature plastic tank of water, that exits through a thin pipe. Whence the microwave is activated, the steam jet propels the RC around the bringing a modicum of delight to children of all ages.

The worst thing about this idea is.... it might actually work.

not_morrison_rm, May 07 2018

Israel necromancy http://nocamels.com...s-even-after-death/
...with (on?) mice [not_morrison_rm, May 07 2018]

flatworms maze memory https://www.google....eid=chrome&ie=UTF-8
Google search results. [Skewed, May 08 2018]

Breakfast Convoy Breakfast_20Convoy
[Voice, May 10 2018]

Snails are at it now. http://www.bbc.co.u...nvironment-44111476
More mollusk memory transfer (off topic, sorry). [Skewed, May 25 2018]


       [+] for the concept of a microwave-powered steam engine.
MaxwellBuchanan, May 07 2018

       Caractacus Potts has a similar system employed for the conveyance of breakfast platters. No loops or rolls though (breakfast cereals and continental breakfasts wouldn't have set Grandpa off well for the long voyage to 'Inja') - but positive g manoeuvres would have been viable without spilling the beans, eggs, bacon or even the cup of tea if well designed.
TomP, May 07 2018

       // positive g manoeuvres would have been viable //   

       Just take care you don't pancake the landing ...
8th of 7, May 07 2018

       I think I just post-emted the EM drive, or possibly not?   

       [MB] have you clocked that Israel mouse necromancy shtuck? Linky
not_morrison_rm, May 07 2018

       //have you clocked that Israel mouse necromancy shtuck? Linky//   

       That sparks a memory.   

       I seem to remember experiments years ago with the training of flatworms on very simple "mazes" (well, a T- junction, turn left get shocked turn right don't) it was well before the internet was really a thing so don't expect me to go looking for links for you..   

       But anyway, they then fed the minced brains of the trained worms to worms that had never been trained on the "maze".   

       And the new worms then learned the maze faster (statistically significantly so) than the original worms (whose minced brains they'd been fed).   

       Later Edit: Huh! Googling [flatworms maze memory] produces this list, surprised it found anything relevant, first three look interesting, not read them yet.
Skewed, May 07 2018

       // minced brains //   

       Didn't they try that with cows, too ?
8th of 7, May 07 2018

       From the link: "They noticed that the same gene patterns reproduced themselves in different mice that had undergone the same experience."   

       So, these necromancers, they're bringing Lysenko back from the dead?   

       Or is storing memories in DNA rather than neural connections just normal epigenetics nowadays? Either I've missed some important science here, or the journalist in the link is quite sloppy. I'd quite like to know which.   

       [edit] I think I get it now; where it says "the same gene patterns reproduced themselves", it probably means something like "certain genes were expressed according to the same patterns", and not "the same patterns of genes occurred". ... right?
pertinax, May 08 2018

       Little faces, with developing brains, pressed up against the window to see the action.   

       //minced brains// Homeopathy for a gut guidance?
wjt, May 08 2018

       How exactly did necromancy and Israel get involved in this idea. Does it have to do with some kind of roller-coaster conspiracy?
pashute, May 08 2018

       ^I would be surprised if there was a market for microwave-powered RC for necromantic purposes in any country in the world.   

       Speaking of "minced brains of the trained worms to worms that had never been trained on the "maze"...   

       I can't help feeling that feeding bits of (recently deceased) Uncle Fred's brain to other people on the off- chance one of might have a vision of where he buried his stash of Krugerrands is something of long shot.
not_morrison_rm, May 08 2018

       I know, but the spiritualist we went to last week was no use at all & we're running short on ideas, combined barbecue & reading of the will this evening.
Skewed, May 08 2018

       Hmm, you could load the probability by having small circular pieces of gold-coloured card around, and a shovel placed nearby.   

       If one of the attendees gets a funny a look on their face, and they ask to borrow the shovel, that's the one to follow.
not_morrison_rm, May 09 2018

       Re: More mollusk memory transfer (link above) not mine.   

       Hmm, I'm guessing it's all the work of one scientist, and s/he is pissed off than no one ever remembers their birthday....
not_morrison_rm, May 26 2018

       Yeah ... that snail experiment: an alternative reading of the data is that you can traumatize a snail by giving it an electric shock, and you can also traumatize it with an unprovoked injection of RNA. In either case, the snail's response is "Fuck this; if anyone knocks, I'm staying in my shell."   

       I'm not sure how the observer infers from that a magical memory transfer.
pertinax, May 27 2018

       //not sure how the observer infers from that a magical memory transfer//   

       How? In the same way one might infer a crickets ears are in it's legs when it doesn't jump after you pull them off then bang the table next to it, by not thinking things through perhaps.   

       I wonder if they did a control sample as well, injecting "untrained" snail's RNA into other (also untrained) snails before molesting them (further)?
Skewed, May 27 2018

       // "untrained" snail's RNA into other (also untrained) snails //   

       The Job and Person specifications for the role of Snail Trainer would make interesting reading, as would the actual interview ...   

       Would it be a "no experience necessary" advert, or would "previous experience of electrocuting gastropods would be an advantge" form part of the text ? If the former, then applicants should beware the "training will be provided (by intravenous infusion)" clause.   

       No doubt there will be the usual proportion of handwritten CVs affirming "all i haeve evr winted to du syns i discovred bateriez iss gyiv bigg shoks tu snayls" with the inevitable "PS plis excuz thi gren craiyne thay donte lett uz harv sharpp oybjektys iin hiere".
8th of 7, May 27 2018

       Blimey, they let them have the green crayon?   

       We only get a crappy blue crayon once a week, if matron's feeling charitable.   

       NB Do use the shoulder-length rubber gloves, you really don't want to know how the letters get smuggled out....
not_morrison_rm, May 27 2018

       Having had not inconsiderable experience of M'lud Buchanan's extended (and occasionally contracted) family, we regret that we are under no illusions as to how such messages are transported, and invariably peruse them by means of a negative-pressure biohazard glovebox, a positive-pressure biohazard suit, and a very, very long set of disposable tweezers.
8th of 7, May 27 2018


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