Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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100 feet platform shoes

And a drogue umbrella
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An exciting invention has just come to light in the recently discovered archive of the 5th Baron de Mibou-Langer who died an untimely death exactly one hundred and fifty years ago this week.

It seems that the Baron, a noted inventor, was attempting to devise a way of safely surviving a planned, although unwelcome, exit from a hot air balloon.

The Baron’s invention consisted of a pair of stout, leather shoes with soles approximately 100 feet high. The composition of the soles is somewhat of a mystery as no illustrations have survived. There is evidence however that the Baron’s links to the family publishing business allowed him to use tightly crumpled paper and cardboard.

The Baron calculated that a body falling at 50 metres per second (approximately 120 miles per hour) slowed at a constant rate to come to rest after 30 metres (approximately 100 feet) would experience a deceleration of 5 times the Earth’s gravitational attraction. The Baron’s reasoning was that this was eminently survivable.

The Baron’s records show several successes of gradually increasing ambitiousness. Indeed, he quickly learned to employ an umbrella to keep him upright during the descent to prevent the soles from wavering from vertical. Following some of the descents, the Baron noted that the shoes with compressed soles could still be used. It is ironic to note that the Baron probably missed inventing platform soles.

It was however on the last and most ambitious descent that the drogue umbrella was to be his undoing. Witnesses describe how the speed of descent was too great, the umbrella shattered, instability set in and the unfortunate Baron was propelled head first into soft ground with perhaps two thirds of the shoes protruding from the ground.

The finder of the archive, Mme Chopine, a descendent of the Baron, hopes that technologies today will enable a modern day inventor to develop the invention further and perhaps benefit mankind.
DenholmRicshaw, Feb 15 2005

Jan Jansen designs http://metropolis.co.jp/tokyo/526/art.asp
Very high fashion. [ConsulFlaminicus, Jul 23 2006]

Chopine http://www.metmuseu...hd/chop/hd_chop.htm
Noooooo [DenholmRicshaw, Oct 29 2006]


       Make them like accordians to play sole music.
FarmerJohn, Feb 15 2005

       An idea such as this truly seperates the uppers from the lowers.
normzone, Feb 16 2005

       So, not footwear for centipedes?
AbsintheWithoutLeave, Feb 16 2005

       Hold your tongue.
normzone, Jul 20 2006

       is that actully real? and for you people who dont know what mme means is means "mademmoiselle" which is mis in french
sockless, Jul 21 2006

       thanks [sock], that was a useful piece of trivia. this isn't real, it's a story. if it were real, it would be baked, and if it were baked, it wouldn't belong on the halfbakery.
tcarson, Jul 21 2006

       //what mme means is means "mademmoiselle" which is mis in french// "what "Mme" means is "mademoiselle", which is "Miss" in French".
coprocephalous, Jul 21 2006

       I think it's a good story. I also think an early parachute would have been more obvious once the Baron started to use an umbrella, so he missed the boat. The parachute eliminates usefulness for the idea today. The best that could be done with it would be development by a daredevil for a show. I don't think daredevils are particularly entertaining.
Corona, Jul 22 2006

       Hang on a minute - De Mibou-Langer   

       demi boulanger   

DenholmRicshaw, Sep 15 2006

       I'd suggest that Mme is actually "madame", which is "Mrs", mis en francais.
david_scothern, Oct 31 2006

       Exactly how does the Baron wear these 100 ft tall shoes when in the balloon's basket?
RayfordSteele, Feb 02 2022

       Dangles feet over side of course
pocmloc, Feb 02 2022

       When Demi Boulanger hangs out of her clothes, she becomes Demi Moore
4and20, Feb 02 2022


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