Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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This would work fine, except in terms of success.

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2-D glasses

Makes things 2-D so you can avoid... distractions
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So, this is an idea by my uncle, and I'd like to submit it

So we've got these (potential - here's hoping!) clients, they're husband/wife. The wife is, well, pretty well-endowed, and she wears kind of low-cut shirts, so my uncle complains it's distracting. He says he doesn't know where to look to try and be appropriate.

So he says someone should come up with 2-D glasses. Glasses that make the world seem 2-D. With everything flat, men could avoid such distractions.

EdwinBakery, Nov 04 2011

Now, in this picture, look at the man on the right. http://winelibrary.com/images/58378.jpg
See that thing he's holding under his nose? That may be the beginning of a solution to this problem. The one in the middle appears to be a thinly-disguised Stephen Fry. [pertinax, Nov 05 2011, last modified Nov 09 2011]


       So, like stereoscopic vision jammers?
swimswim, Nov 04 2011

       I think the simplest way is to have one lens black, and the other clear. One eye; hence not 3D. Or ask your Uncle to close one eye!
Ling, Nov 04 2011

       When posting an Idea here, one is supposed to try to show how it might be done. Anything less is known as a WIBNI ("wouldn't it be nice if"), and tends to receive the MFD tag.
Vernon, Nov 04 2011

       // ask your Uncle to close one eye!// That would be winking, no?
MaxwellBuchanan, Nov 04 2011

       Wouldn't that be called *double-D*?
xandram, Nov 04 2011

       Could be baked using lenses and prisms, a kind of cyclops visor, with one lens looking out, and splitting this into two viewpieces for the eyes. Or electronically with a cyclops-cam and two eye-screens.
pocmloc, Nov 04 2011

       Can you also make the DD glasses so that you can look at any flat girl (or guy) and see a large DD chest?
Grogster, Nov 04 2011

       It seems like the 3D to 2D trick hasn't been much of a stumbling block for one very profitable industry.
swimswim, Nov 04 2011

       // With everything flat, men could avoid such distractions //   

       Yeah, because no man has ever been interested in looking at a two-dimensional image of a woman with large breasts. I mean, if that sort of thing were popular, there'd be lots of magazines and pictures all over the internet...
Alterother, Nov 04 2011

       //// ask your Uncle to close one eye!// That would be winking, no?// Depends. Is Uncle's other eye open?
mouseposture, Nov 05 2011

       I like the prisms scheme. Prisms can help people with double vision so also should be able to reduce 3D ability.   

       But might I propose, Ed, that you obtain for your ink a rakish pirate patch. It cough be flat black, or perhaps be decorated with some glyph appropriate for his line of business. He could explain it as a consequence of extreme bumper pool.
bungston, Nov 05 2011

       I still fail to see how covering one eye is going to keep a horny old lech from staring at a woman's tits.
Alterother, Nov 05 2011

       Be fair, [Alterother] It would be effective with horny old one-eyed lechers.
mouseposture, Nov 05 2011

       Only if you put it over their remaining eye. And that's not fair at all, really... who are we to dictate that the stereoptically-challenged can't leer with the rest of us?
Alterother, Nov 05 2011

       Better to swivel the prisms so you can apparently look them in the eye, whilst ogling nonstop somewhat lower?
pocmloc, Nov 05 2011

       Bake it, [poc]. Bake it, and they will bun.
Alterother, Nov 05 2011


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