Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
h a l f b a k e r y
Not just a think tank. An entire army of think.

idea: add, search, annotate, link, view, overview, recent, by name, random

meta: news, help, about, links, report a problem

account: browse anonymously, or get an account and write.



A (sur)real group of trained monkeys

Make the boss eat humble banana.
  (+2, -1)
(+2, -1)
  [vote for,

Anybody who's blood has boiled when their exasperated boss has claimed "I could train a team of monkeys to do your job better than you"* knows why this idea would work.

My team of monkeys would be trained in basic things, like eating with their mouths closed, and not pulling the ariels off cars, and then listed in Yellow pages.

Aggrieved workers, rather than consulting ACAS or going on strike, would simply employ my team of monkeys to spend 8 hours in their office, wreaking havoc and proving once and for all that a team of monkeys couldn't do their job.

Direct action and vengence all rolled into one. Yah - can't beat it. Big up the proletariat massive.

* uk middle management insult of choice. Is it used in US?

Fishrat, Sep 29 2003

Primate Programming http://www.newtechusa.com/PPI/main.asp
"Hominids will not share source code and can be very territorial when programming. For this reason we do not recommend Primate Programming for open source projects." [-alx, Oct 04 2004, last modified Oct 05 2004]


       fish, ra(n)t
po, Sep 29 2003

       It's more that I wanna see monkeys doing my job. Just one monkey then? Please? <butter wouldn't melt> Then I'd be nice to my boss, like, for ever. </butter> I'll even take back the vengance bit.
Fishrat, Sep 29 2003

       What if you bring them in and sit them down, and they write one of the works of Shakespeare?
krelnik, Sep 29 2003

       [kreInik] I would say that, if my job was to sell hamburgers, they'd be proving the point brilliantly.   

       BigMacBeth, anyone?
Fishrat, Sep 29 2003

       <aside>I worked for a verbally abusive boss once. I warned him repeatedly that his insults were unacceptable. The only job I've ever walked out on in my life. Quite satisfying, the walkout was. As it was only then that he showed any remorse, apparently he saw some value in my newly acquired skills of saying "I quit" and walking away.</aside>   

       Coincidentally, "trained monkeys" is a term I often use for the software I create to automate tedious, repetitive tasks that are better suited to computers than a humans.
half, Sep 29 2003

       [half] Did you build my football software, chimp-ionship manager? Sorry.   

       Maybe the trained monkey this oiginally comes from the PG Tips adverts?
Fishrat, Sep 29 2003


back: main index

business  computer  culture  fashion  food  halfbakery  home  other  product  public  science  sport  vehicle