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A Lobster with your name on it

Feeling down? Want revenge? Just go out for dinner and let the fun begin.
  (+11, -4)
(+11, -4)
  [vote for,

I saw the title Lobster with a side of Revenge (see link) and thought "now, there's an idea" - then I read the idea and found it wasn't at all what I was thinking. So, here's my idea, which sprung to mind after reading that title.

First of all, the whole idea of picking out your own lobster is rather bizarre. They generally look all more or less the same. Just these funny looking creatures in a fish tank.

So, why not add some fun to choosing your lobster.

Imagine. You've just broken up with your long time boyfriend who cheated on you. You're totally depressed. You're not eating right, just moping round the house all sad. You friends decide they need to take you out for a night on the town. So they force you into a shower and bundle you off to the Halfbakery restaurant. As you walk in the door, you notice the big fish tank with lobsters in it. They all have a little name tag attached to their little tails - and there - in black and white - is the name of your cheating-scum boyfriend. And on the little female lobster to his right - the name of the girl he cheated on you with! Now, you have the great pleasure of picking out that lobster, knowing that it's being boiled alive in the kitchen then eating the thing and enjoying every bite. First decent meal you've had since you broke up!

The perfect meal for those evenings when you come home stressed from work because of your $%^* boss and your &*%$ co-workers. A brilliant way to celebrate the divorce coming through. Great stress relief for PMS... the list goes on.

Heck, masochists could even get lobsters with their own names on them!

And how do the names appear on the lobsters? When you book, you simply let the restaurant know the names you'll need on your lobsters. They fish one out, put the name on the small plastic nametag with permanent marker and plop them back in the tank.

Of course, this also helps the restaurant because there's no more coming up to the fish tank and saying "I'll have that one - no, no, the one behind him..."

Now its: "I'll have Fred. Make sure he suffers!"

Flux, Jan 31 2005

(??) Lobster with a side of Revenge Lobster_20with_20a_20side_20of_20Revenge
[Flux, Jan 31 2005]


       The poor, poor lobsters. I really couldn't face walking into a restaurant and order the death of something so innocent, even if it does look evil.
david_scothern, Jan 31 2005

       Do lobsters have feelings?
The Kat, Feb 01 2005

       Not after they've been boiled.
wagster, Feb 01 2005

       I'm not sure about feelings, but I know that lobsters possess a chemical equivalent to mammalian Substance P, which is the pain-dependent neurotransmitter (and not originally named, at that)
shapu, Feb 01 2005

       [The Kat] the humane thing is to drop them into boiling water head first. Then supposedly they don't feel pain. But I never asked one what it was like. as I dredged his orange and white succulence through the molten butter. drool...
dentworth, Feb 02 2005

       [+] "the best revenge is living well" ... which may include eating lobster
sophocles, Feb 02 2005

       i don't think i could handle eating lobster every day of the year
benfrost, Feb 02 2005

       Salmon? I thought it was pies.
david_scothern, Feb 02 2005

       I can't manage pies with my dentures in.
AbsintheWithoutLeave, Feb 02 2005

       The Pope is sick!!! And you can think about revenge?? Anyway, I have little doubt that New England servants would have requested such. If some marine biologist out there can correct me, I'd really appreciated it.. but aren't we essentially talking about something closely related to undersea roaches here? Still hungry?
JungFrankenstein, Feb 02 2005

       Lobster used to be considered poor persons food.....until the well-to-do noticed how happy they were eating it.
normzone, Feb 02 2005

       awwwright, I've had a few beers too early in the afternoon. But it is Friday - or close enough. ...some undersea foodstuff that is biologically, anatomically, frightfully reminiscent of a roach?
JungFrankenstein, Feb 02 2005

       //carrion-eating omnivores//   

       "Judge not lest ye be judged..."
tiromancer, Feb 02 2005

       Lobsters are considerably less advanced than Roaches. Whether or not they are more or less intelligent is another question.
Madcat, Feb 03 2005

       [scout] Of course they are - roaches were bright enough to evolve into something less appetising.
AbsintheWithoutLeave, Feb 03 2005

       [scout] Sorry, I forgot to add a jokey, wink emoticon.
You're quite right, it is an interesting question.
AbsintheWithoutLeave, Feb 03 2005

       The sacrificial lobster?
PauloSargaco, Feb 04 2005

       I'm guessing right around the sophistication required to perpetuate the species ;)
FlyingToaster, Feb 02 2009


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