Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
h a l f b a k e r y
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A Long Cable, Redux

I just had this beautiful typically schizo dream last night. I wanted to share it with you all. :-)
  [vote for,

It's probably unbakable and too personal :-), but here we go.

Just span a gigantic cable from a mountain top somewhere to an ocean shore somewhere. (E.g. from the Himalayas to the Andaman Sea, or from Mount Kenya to the Indian Ocean).

Strap yourself to the cable and glide down. (Nothing new here).

Make sure everyone below takes a good but bizarre look at you (giving you something like "ok, yes, we see you" - rather dry, too dry a look: "we see you").

While you are gliding down for days on end, a repetitive voice accompanies you througout the trip (coming out of a speaker, attached to the cable, behind you somewhere).

The message goes like this: "Lance, please give me back the board. You know how much I like that board. It is very difficult to find one that good, I had it specially made. Now hand it over, Lance. -- Lance, please give me back the board..." etc...

All the while you are smiling and waving to the people down below, who are rather indifferent to what they're seeing.

Afar, you see the sun sink in the ocean, and the voice just keeps going "Lance, please give me back the board..."

django, Jun 30 2004


       The voice part is easy enough to do. Use a precisely textured rope that will vibrate your cable strap. Or a walkman.
Worldgineer, Jun 30 2004

       lovely dream, shorten the title and I'll bun it.
dentworth, Jun 30 2004

       Hahahahahaha! +
DesertFox, Jun 30 2004

       We had a zip line at camp that went across the lake. Enormous fun. Folks would naturally try to think up the funniest thing to yell while zipping along, before plummeting into the brine.   

       Assuming this won't be placed anywhere near the usual jet traffic ways, I'd bun it.
RayfordSteele, Jun 30 2004

       done and done.+
dentworth, Jun 30 2004

       [-] I personally wouldn't turn this down if given the opportunity, but I have a few reasons for the negative vote:   

       -I don't understand the point of the voice in your ear.   

       -Doing it for days on end? How about sleep, food?   

       Straighten these things out and I'll definitely switch to positive.
Pocketassreturn, Jul 01 2004

       It's a dream and there's not likely a rational point for the existence of the disembodied voice.   

       It's a dream and in dreams one can often go a long time without food and, as for sleep . . . well, it's a dream, you see.
bristolz, Jul 01 2004

       //well, it's a dream, you see.//   

       Ok, I understand it originated as a dream, but am I incorrect in saying that the point of the site is to come up with ideas for realistic inventions/services? I'm not over here posting about my dreams last night, am I? No. Because it's called the HALFBAKERY, not the HALFDREAMERY.   

       In that case, [marked–for–deletion]. Because I said so.
Pocketassreturn, Jul 01 2004

       Just because you're no fun doesn't mean everyone has to be no fun.
bristolz, Jul 01 2004

       //Just because you're no fun doesn't mean everyone has to be no fun.//   

       I don't even want to respond because I know I'll regret it.
Pocketassreturn, Jul 01 2004

       Hint: ...give the board back from whoever you borrowed it from. :-)
originalsen, Jul 01 2004

“Pardon me, I was looking for the dreamery.”
“The what you say?”
“The dreamery, the half-dreamery, actually.”
“Ah, the halfbakery you mean. It’s that way.” He points down into a tunnel.
Flames and smoke are pouring out. “Awful hot down there, sure you can take it?”
“Well, I’ve got this board I need to return—”
“A board...what’s your name?”
“Lance...it’s Lance.”
The man checks a list in his hand. “Sorry, you’ve been marked for deletion.”
“Are you sure?”
“Oh yes! The fish man came in here this morning, put the label on himself.”
“But why, why?”
“Don’t be sniveling now. It was because he said so...you understand.”
ldischler, Jul 01 2004

       Gawd, I love this stuff.
FarmerJohn, Jul 01 2004

       I presume there's a standing unspoken rule amongst the admins by now to totally ignore pocketass's mfds. Certainly should be.   

       // ... but am I incorrect in saying that the point of the site is ... //   

       Pocketass, in trying so hard to get the point, you clearly miss it.
waugsqueke, Jul 01 2004

       [pocketassreturn] I'm straithening things out, especially for you.   

       -although it was a dream, this is a very real and very feasible idea. (The cable is no prob, the voice is no prob either, the people down below will have an indifferent look on their face indeed, so no prob).   

       -it is the explicit purpose of this idea that you travel a few days on end, the cable covers a few hundred kilometres.   

       -it is also the explicit purpose of this idea to make sure that the user does NOT eat NOR drinks during the entire trip. This is clearly beneficial to augmenting the hallucinatory effect of the experience.   

       -as the user gets more and more exhausted (from starvation) towards the end of the trip, he will see the tropical sun set down one more time in the ocean, before he takes a deep plunge, and gets rescued by a professional team standing by. This team has been monitoring the vital signs of the user continuously, and the user is tracked via satelite, GPS basically. Of course all kinds of electronic sensors measure the tensions in the cable, and there's a meteorological service standing by to monitor the weather.   

       -now please give me a croissant, I'll eat it after the trip. thank you. :-)
django, Jul 01 2004


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