Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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A Sad & Lonely Child Will Count Your Money

animatronic ATM
  (+15, -3)(+15, -3)
(+15, -3)
  [vote for,

A Sad & Lonely Child Will Count Your Money is an ATM featuring a small animatronic figure of a sad and lonely child. The figure is normally at rest leaning against a wall beside the machine, totally protected by armoured glass and cameras of course.

When you insert your card, the resting child figure awakens and via the wonders of automata (ie hidden cams and levers) and begins counting your money note by note from a large pile before extending it towards the despensing slot.

To take your money, you must pull it from the grasp of the extended gripping hand of the Sad & Lonely Child, which now emits a pair of tiny tears that roll down its cheeks.

Other animatronic ATM figures are available.There is:
The Overfed Child Surrounded By Empty Junk Food Wrappers
The Smart Three And A Half Legged Dog Who Can Count Money With His Stump
The Siamese Tortoise That Uses Both Heads To Grab Exact Amounts of Money In Its Mouths
Many more are naturally under development as are additional ATM ideas.

xenzag, Jan 07 2022

Similar https://gfycat.com/oddballskeletalanole
[tatterdemalion, Jan 09 2022]


       I want the classic "high roller" doing that thing where you shoot money off of one hand by doing that slapping thing with the other. Let me see if I can find a video...
doctorremulac3, Jan 07 2022

       What the hell is that called? You have a pile of money on say your left hand and you slide your right hand over the pile quickly so the bills fly forward?   

       You do it if you're stupid and just got a bunch of money and walk into a bar or strip club for instance.
doctorremulac3, Jan 07 2022

       cute, but sad. I prefer a gypsy with a magic ball like the games in an arcade. but you can have the child count this bun.
xandram, Jan 07 2022

       Completely possible, but there's not as much to think about when the figure is happy and jolly.
xenzag, Jan 07 2022

       you're trying to automate the gypsy business model?
theircompetitor, Jan 07 2022

       The figures should be live actors hired by the bank.
pocmloc, Jan 07 2022

       Is there a 'Make It Rain!' model, which scatters your bills up into the air?
RayfordSteele, Jan 07 2022

       A vaguely Italian-looking bloke in a suit slips you an un-marked envelope with your withdrawal. In fact, that would be big enough to be the whole ATM; "normal" position standing with his hand inside his jacket.
neutrinos_shadow, Jan 07 2022

       Can I have my payoff from a sleazy looking man in a business suit? He needs darting eyes and a sense of urgency.
Voice, Jan 07 2022

       Excellent idea. I would also be happy if any withdrawal was accompanied by an on-screen animation of a fat businessman in a stove-pipe hat, holding a huge, smoking cigar in one hand & wrestling the cash out of the hands of a small Dickensian orphan child with the other. Then pushing the cash roughly out through the ATM slot. To assist with this small bit of theatre, there should be some sort of device in the ATM that firstly ruffles up the cash before dispensing it and, secondly, pushes the money out through the slot in several untidy heaps.
DrBob, Jan 08 2022

       Disheveled poor woman coming to the door with a baby in one arm putting the money through the slot saying "Please, it's all I have!"?
doctorremulac3, Jan 08 2022

       Maybe the slot can be changed for a nondescript briefcase that slides out with your bills in a nice stack of $20's. With a tall, smoking, shadowy figure in a fedora and dark suit who says nothing but 'You don't need to count it.'
RayfordSteele, Jan 08 2022

       This bun is because I love the title, and the next one is for you.   

       This third bun is for sad, lonely, slighter older women, of which I have become.   

       And finally, this last bun is for greatness and the lateness of the night,   

       which you are welcome to steal from me, with hardly much of a fight.   

blissmiss, Jan 09 2022

       Well I for one don't want a sad and lonely child to hand me my money... I am the sad and lonely child handing me my money and that sad and lonely child pulled itself up by its own bootstraps and handed itself its own money and it doesn't need reminders of handing over what has rightfully been earned.   

       Perhaps Trudeau or Trump could hand me my money.   

       Or at least what's left of my money once I've earned it...   

       With a digital version you could select the cashier of choice.
xenzag, Jan 09 2022

       //This third bun is for sad, lonely, slighter older women, of which I have become.//   

       You're a wonderful person, are you interested in pursuing a partner? If that's too personal I understand, but they have apps to help you find people who you might like. If something's making you feel bad you fight back against it. There's plenty of lonely people out there that would love to spend time with you.
doctorremulac3, Jan 09 2022

       Blissy.... if you check, you'll find I replied to your email.
xenzag, Jan 09 2022

       Thank you, no I hadn't seen it. And thank you Doctor, but I fear my slightly older husband might find that troubling.
blissmiss, Jan 10 2022

       As a child permanently haunted by "The Little Match Girl", I think the girl should burn each bill until every light goes out...
4and20, Jan 11 2022

       How about for deposits?   

       Man pointing a gun at you
The tax collector
Drug dealer
Fast talking used car salesman
Voice, Jan 15 2022

       Yes... they're kept on the other side of the ATM. A grinning overweight sweating businessman in a crumpled beige suit with a gravy stain down its front reaches out a bloated hand to take your money. The back of this hand is covered with liver spots and grey hairs that look like singed pubes.
xenzag, Jan 15 2022

       A gaunt, sooty waif draped in moldy burlap wobbles on his one good leg while counting my phat stax, ahhh. Give me a moment while I unlock my breadbox and fetch you a delicious croissant.
luxlucet, Jan 16 2022

       Welcome back...... hope you start posting ideas again too.
xenzag, Jan 16 2022

       [+,-] Maybe a self inflicted, bloodied, chainsaw victim for the cycle of deposits and withdrawals.
wjt, Jan 19 2022


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