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Abnormal Cardiac Event Corrector

Heart Starter Kit - Peace of Mind for the Aged
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This is a last ditch life saving device for people who have a sudden electrophysiological disturbance in the rhythm of the heart. These people, who may be at risk of sudden cardiac arrest due to ventricular tachycardia etc, could use the device to reset the rhythm of the heart.

This short portable conducting apparatus would have specially designed prongs that would fit into an electrical plug socket. It may bear resemblance to a household fork to the uninitiated but it would be painted red and white with an “Emergency Heart Starter!” sticker. It would also come with a chain so people could hang it round their neck and stab it into the nearest electrical socket should they experience, or anticipate, a heart attack.

wongmeister, Apr 21 2006

Idiot's guideto defibrillators http://www.homehear...html/home_page.html
There is no excuse for your workplace not having one of these... [Fishrat, Apr 21 2006]


       //...anticipate, a heart attack.//   

       "Dinner tomorrow night? Let's see... nope, no good. I'm planning to have a real whopper of a heart attack at 7:30. I'm very excited about it, I just can't wait!How's about the day after?"
NotTheSharpestSpoon, Apr 21 2006

       Isn't the whole point about heart attacks that generally the heart goes into an irregular rhythm and needs to be stopped, rather than started, so that it has a chance to correct itself?   

       I understood that a defibrillator, sending a current across the heart, does exactly that. And, although you can't quite hang one around your neck yet, they're becoming much smaller, much cheaper, and they can automatically diagnose whether a shock should be applied or not.   

       On another point, I think that if I saw somebody stabbing a fork-shaped object into an electrical socket, I'd probably have a heart attack myself!
Fishrat, Apr 21 2006

       Portable and even implantable defibrulators exist and are actually rather common. The CheneyBot2005 has an implanted one, and most places where a large number of people gather will have one of the portable automated models.
Galbinus_Caeli, Apr 21 2006

       I think they call these pacemakers.
RayfordSteele, Apr 22 2006

       Its not like a pacemaker at all, these are desirable and cheap seniors' accessories - cheap as they are just ordinary table forks with some red tape wrapped around them and desirable because they suggest to a member of the opposite sex that you have the precautions at hand for revival in case of myocardial infarction during aged intercourse - effectively saying "park that walking frame and tell your great grandkids you are not coming home tonight, baby"
wongmeister, May 12 2006


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