h a l f b a k e r y
It might be better to just get another gerbil.
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I think we all know about psychological warfare in its basic
forms, such as printed propaganda bombed on the enemy,
sound and music blared over loudspeakers.
Abstract Psychological Warfare takes this a step further by
not just delivering messages to the enemy, but making them
and disorienting ones.
Distributed through standard means, a new method to be
included are also "aural bombs" which consist of high fidelity
(with subwoofer) speaker systems with self-contained
messages, which repeat, designed to be dispersed deep into
enemy territory. Messages are translated into the
Possible messages would include:
"Would you like something to drink with that?"
"Don't go there."
"I'm over the hill!"
"Who made a poopie? You did!"
"Has anyone seen my keys? I could swear I left them on the
"Void where prohibited"
"You wanna see French Toast? I'll show you French Toast."
"I think Jill is going to pick us up around seven."
"Please pass the biscuits."
"I'm a lover, not a fighter."
"Is it better like this, or like this? Like this... or like this?"
"That's a stunning pagmina."
"Who did your hair?"
"I need your man-log deep inside me."
"Is Pakistan walking distance from here, or should we call a
And Richard Simmons exercise tapes.
||Just reading the possible messages list was enough to cause my mind to surrender...
||Wouldn't this be about the same as sitting in a busy restaurant?
||Why not the complete works of John Tesh and David Hasselhoff? As long as we arent fighting Germany, i guess...
||Why not just send random bits of this place? (but not this idea of course... that might let them figure it out)
||I surrender. This is a good idea.
||Perhaps we could send some of the ideas from Beanagel and Treant.
||Or some of my perfectly logical statements... "I saw the stripper because I wanted cans. I wanted the cans so I could make stoves." "Seven years bad luck... but also ample material for arrow heads!" "I made it by breaking glass!" etc.
||Or my old roommate... "Pockets!" "Red Skies at night, sailors delight. Red Skies at morning, Daryl Horning." "I'm Frothy Bunglepants." "Ooh! I'ma fuckit!" "Keegan, Yeah!" "I can't wait to fill your weiner with henies!" etc.
||Well... I just sort of turned that into a list. I hope it's of some use some day.