Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Angel & Devil Headphones

Outsource your conscience
  (+10, -2)(+10, -2)
(+10, -2)
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When the world only had half a billion people, each one had an angel on one shoulder and a devil on the other. They would whisper into people's ears, making them do good and bad things.

But you know what? Angels and devils don't breed. So with six billion of us, there aren't enough entities to go round. Some balanced people have both of them, and get to live normal happy lives of mixed vice and virtue. But some people only have one or the other, and a few have neither.

I propose a real solution to this metaphysical problem. Angel and Devil headphones!

But this time, the whispering isn't random. Opposing companies, organizations, governments, etc get to compete for your ears. And they pay you for the privelidge.

You do get some choice in the matter, but only half a choice. You see, organizations get paired off in advance, so everybody hears both sides of the argument. If you choose a side you agree with, then you have to listen to the opposite view at the same time - or no money for you.

In one ear, you'd hear recent posts on Slashdot. In the other you'd get the voice of the RIAA (probably backed by Britney). Greenpeace would compete with Nike adverts. Richard Dawkins and Daniel Dennet would compete with the American South. Durex would compete with the Pope. The rich west in one ear, the third world in the other.

(aside: what is it with me and headphone ideas starting with A?)

sadie, Aug 21 2002


       I'd much rather have a set of normal headphones with a cute little angel on the right side and a cute little devil on the left side. I don't care for the whispers, just the image. Besides, the different images would help easily distinguish one side from the other.
XSarenkaX, Aug 21 2002

       they only *do* titles, bliss.
po, Aug 21 2002

       waves white gloved hands over magic wand - abracadabra "conscience" abracadabra.   

       didn't work, sorry.   

       isn't the Id, the devil bit of your brain anyway?
po, Aug 21 2002

       CONSCIENCE. I think of it as con-science. :)
XSarenkaX, Aug 21 2002

       Oy. Can't you just keep replaying Hardball with Chris Matthews?   

       (For our viewers abroad, Chris Matthews is a kind of political attack dog, who delights in pitting himself against the very people described by sadie.)
DrCurry, Aug 21 2002

       CONSCIENCE. I think of it as co-nsci-enc-e.   

       I already have enough voices in my head, thanks.
waugsqueke, Aug 22 2002

       [Oops - I was wondering why I couldn't find it in Google...thanks!]
DrCurry, Aug 22 2002

       How about a system whereby the people who have the real deal and are heartily sick of them (real angels and devils) can trade them in to those who simply cannot live without the ongoing conflict?   

       "Hardball" is what is going to play on my headphones for all eternity in the afterlife if I live a mean, nasty, unregenerate life and ignore my angel.
banshee, Aug 22 2002

       Sorry. Spelling corrected.
sadie, Aug 22 2002

       Black Album in one ear, White Album in the other. It's all about balance, in everything you do.
polartomato, Aug 22 2002

       Did someone call?
angel, Aug 22 2002

       Mephista: You have four ears ? Who are you, Zaphod Beeblebrox or something ?
8th of 7, Aug 22 2002

       Ya mean Phil? ;)
XSarenkaX, Aug 22 2002

       "Well, he only had the two arms and the one head, and he called himself Phil, but ....."
8th of 7, Aug 22 2002


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