Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Anonymous Gift-Giving

Let's start a tradition of giving NOT to get something back.
  [vote for,

I know some of you out there really want a particular present for Christmas this year, or just want something good for whatever usual occasions that seem to necessitate gift-giving, but I've thought about what gift-giving has become of late and I don't like it.

What's happened to the art of gift-giving? Birthdays, weddings, and Christmas have become gimme-gimme fests. It's not only about feeling good about giving something nice to someone you like or love, but it's become about getting good gifts from people who feel obligated to get them, and it's also become a bit of an investment in future present receipts. This just ain't right, I say!

Gift-giving should be done only if one truly feels that he or she wants to give the recipient something that will make him or her genuinely happy. It should not be an obligation, with rules attached (like how much to spend, when to give, etc.). It should not be about a contest to receive the most highly valued collection of gifts without spending as much on others' gifts. It should not be about making sure the recipient never forgets the time you gave him or her something they liked and expecting payback in the future.

I'd like to revamp the gift-giving mentality and turn it into a tradition of giving freely, without obligation, and without getting credit. That's right, expect nothing at Christmas, birthdays, weddings, etc. And don't be expected to give anything if you really don't want to. If the desire to give a gift compels you, feel free to get something you consider appropriate, but leave your identity out of it. The joy of the gift recipient should be the only thanks you need.

What's more, I don't believe it's necessary to wait for holidays and special occasions for gift-giving, either. If you see something that's perfect for one of your loved ones, just get it for him/her. Again, leave your name out of it. If you don't happen get the perfect gift, it should be easier for the person to be honest about it.

XSarenkaX, Dec 13 2002

"Giftmas" http://www.google.c...s&ie=UTF-8&oe=UTF-8
Sadly, this is what Christmas has become, in my opinion. [XSarenkaX, Oct 04 2004, last modified Oct 05 2004]

Giving Anonymously http://givinganonymously.org
giving anonymously with money, not gifts unfortunately [nateritter, Apr 27 2007]


       Someday when I'm rich and famous I want to anonymously donate a few grand to some of my lesser fortunate relatives bank accounts, and am curious as to how to go about it without them finding out. Maybe an anonymous gift in the mail would do it.
RayfordSteele, Dec 13 2002

       Oooh, [XSX], the sentiment is sound but I think you're sailing close to a rant on this one.   

       I've often told members of my family not to bother buying me anything , usually because I know they won't be able to afford anything I really want, and I don't want them to give me things I don't want. They treat me like a killjoy, like I want to take something from their lives. From this I conclude that the joy of giving is not yet completely dead.   

       Also, they still give me stuff anyway!
egbert, Dec 13 2002

       Admittedly, this is close to a rant and a WIBNI as well, as my wish here is to change the world's way of thinking on this. It is semi-baked in that, yes, many people agree and do as I've outlined, but somehow, this message just isn't getting across on a more universal level. In order for this to work, it needs to be assumed as the new tradition. I thought I'd give it a shot.
XSarenkaX, Dec 13 2002

       This is eminently bakeable now, using the wish-list features at many shopping sites. If your gift target has their wish list published, many sites will let you buy something from the list and automatically ship it to them (without you even knowing their address) and also not list where it came from. I know you can do this with Amazon.
krelnik, Dec 13 2002

       I didn't read the idea- too long. If the gist of the idea was to give gifts and not want anything in return, I think it is pretty close to my idea, in antonymy, entitled "New Gifting Custom", in the same category. In my idea I propose to not give gifts and not expect anything in return.
ImBack, Dec 13 2002

       [RayfordSteele] a wire transfer can be done with relative anonymity. It won't withstand a criminal investigation, though.   

       Also, it is possible to pay off people's credit cards and certain loans anonymously. This can be quite satisfying.
bristolz, Dec 13 2002

       You want me to email the account #'s to you after I put a block on the cards?
thumbwax, Dec 13 2002

       [ImBack]: I can't seem to find "New Gifting Custom" in your listing of ideas. Has it been deleted for some reason?
XSarenkaX, Nov 24 2003

       I've given gifts to my friends anonymously before, but every time I do, the temptation to tell them (especially when they ask!) is overwhelming. And I can't resist telling them it was me (yes, it is fun when they are so thankful and think how sweet I am, and I know that's self-serving).   

       What bugs me more than gifts is gifts that are completely uncreative. Some people don't have any idea how to express gratification. They compute, in most primitive textbook fashion, "Oh In Return I Must Get This Person A Gift". Then they query their table of Nearby Stores and select Random Number (x) between 1 And 100, then assign Price equal to nonthinking societal norm, then buy a gift certificate in the midst of many other chores and errands, and then hand it to Friend.   

       Where a much smaller, but thought-about, gift would mean so much more to me.   

       P.S. [xSx] if you give someone "mirrings" or pretty hair products, they will know it is you!
phundug, Nov 24 2003

       Anything to put the Christ back into christmas, and not Xmas. He gave.   

       Wasn't santa clause, or saint nick, saint nicholas, a rich man who tried to, anonymously, give some father a bag of gold so that he would have to sell his daughter off? Something like that? I think I saw it on TV.
twitch, Apr 28 2007


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