Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Christmas gifts by democracy

A learning experience
  [vote for,

Historically, in Christian countries, children have been encouraged to write "letters to Santa Claus" expressing their desires for yuletide presents.

This is fine as far as it goes, but lacks that educational aspect beloved of the advocates of Social Engineering ... left-wing hand-wringing pinko liberal tree-hugging scum that they are.

To better inculcate a culture of bitterness, cynicism and paranoid distrust into the young and impressionable, BorgCo have developed a programme tailored to effectively promulgate disillusion and anger.

At school, each class is asked to create a collective list of what they want for Christmas.

They then vote in a secret ballot to rank the suggestions in order of preference. This information is disseminated to parents.

On Christmas day, every child receives the same third-rate tacky gift, which no-one asked for or wanted, resulting in huge disappointment and permanent psychological trauma. The justification is "economic necessity".

Thus they are prepared for later years when as adults they get to appoint elected representatives by secret ballot.

8th of 7, Nov 30 2016


       From the web site of BorgCo:   

       "About Borg Manufacturing   

       Borg Manufacturing is a leading Australian manufacturer of melamine panels and components for all joinery applications. Our manufactured products include a range of white melamine panels, decorative melamine board products; shelving; components; and Createc."   

       Sounds like a white melamine Christmas this year.
popbottle, Nov 30 2016

       //left-wing hand-wringing pinko liberal tree- hugging scum that they are.// - I am confused by the apparent inaccuracy of this description. A trivial gedankenexperiment will show that it's impossible to wring your hands while hugging a tree, unless it's a very slender tree but, if this special case is allowed, it's not accurate to describe this as a 'hug'; rather this would be more of an 'embrace', or simply 'wrapping your arms around the tree'. Even then this doesn't address the extent to which the hand-wringing tree-embracer would look ridiculous while simultaneously doing both these actions.
hippo, Dec 01 2016

       The tree-hugging and hand-wringing are not necessarily concurrent processes.   

       It cannot be discounted that one or both of the activities may be metaphorical rather than real, allowing greater scope for pinko liberal scum-ness in the perpetrator.
8th of 7, Dec 01 2016


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