Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Anti-crab marquee lights

  [vote for,

Asleep on the beach, I awoke to a stinging pain in my elbow. I jerked my head up and was horrified to see what looked like dozens of large spiders scurrying away. They were really crabs. Inch long black-brown ugly things. They had been watching me, and had decided I was dead. “Go away!” I shouted, throwing a spray of sand at them. They backed off, but waited there outside of throwing distance, waiting me out, waiting for me to be no longer non-dead. Snoozing was impossible.

So I tried different things. I made a beach towel with tiny whirligigs stuck all around it. Very festive. And it even worked until the breeze died down. But it was not rugged enough -- all the whirlies broke off in the wash.

Then I hit upon the marquee light idea. Filling a clear plastic tube with a stringer of LEDs, I rigged up a controller to blink them in sequence so that it looked like there was constant movement, like marquee lights. Making a circle of constant movement around my towel with it, I’ve created a crab-free zone. No worries now. But sometimes I think that they’re still out there, in their burrows, watching me, waiting for the batteries to die...
pluterday, Jun 27 2003

Crab Lights http://www.christma..._crab_lights_0.html
Be careful, it doesn't specify whether it repels or attracts them. [Amos Kito, Oct 05 2004, last modified Oct 21 2004]

Man, if you want to avoid crabs http://www.everybod...iles/pdfs/crabs.pdf
...you need to practice safe sex. [DrCurry, Oct 05 2004, last modified Oct 21 2004]

HB Film Festival at [Pluterday]'s house tonight! We'll be screening http://home.earthli...attackofthecrab.htm
the scariest crab movie ever! [snarfyguy, Oct 05 2004, last modified Oct 21 2004]

Ninjas Fight Pirates with Lasers http://www.realultimatepower.net/
only other place I've seen where pirates use lasers...see the story pages... [timpestuous, Oct 05 2004, last modified Oct 21 2004]

Chinese mitten crab http://www.nhm.ac.u...logy/crab/index.htm
[thumbwax, Oct 05 2004, last modified Oct 21 2004]

Crabs in London http://www.rathergood.com/london/
This is my favourite Website at the moment [gnomethang, Oct 05 2004, last modified Oct 21 2004]

[Dr Curry] This is just up your street http://www.rathergo...om/crabpalette.html
Still my favourite Website... [gnomethang, Oct 05 2004, last modified Oct 21 2004]

Crab Teasing http://www.rathergood.com/crabrude.htm
Your One-Stop-Shop for good and evil (crabs) [gnomethang, Oct 05 2004, last modified Oct 21 2004]

Great Crabs, Great Music and Britney! http://www.rathergood.com/vid/
Lonely child scared by crabs [gnomethang, Oct 05 2004, last modified Oct 21 2004]


       This calls for exploding, custard-filled pirates with lasers strapped to their heads.
phoenix, Jun 27 2003

       Good grief - where do you go to the beach? I've never seen anything like that any place I've been. (Southend may be pretty tame, but I've been up and down the East Coast and all round the Caribbean.)   

       (And my solution is killing the damn things. a) they'll get the message pretty quickly; b) any survivors will be too busy eating their squashed comrades.)
DrCurry, Jun 27 2003

       Kill them! I could never bring myself to do anything of the sort. I did try distracting them with Fritos, but this just attracted a bigger, angrier crowd. They were not particularly social, these crabs. A couple of them hogged the chips, rushing about with open claws to scare off the slightly smaller ones. And I pictured myself dead, the alpha crab sitting on my back, guarding his fantastic prize...
pluterday, Jun 27 2003

       Hey [pluterday], I just got Roger Corman's "Attack of the Crab Monsters" on DVD! [bliss] is bringing the popcorn! We'll be over at eight!
snarfyguy, Jun 27 2003

       <peering out between closed drapes> Ok snarf, but be careful. I don’t see anything now, but I’m sure they’re out there, just waiting...
pluterday, Jun 27 2003

       i think this is one of the main reasons for the lounge chair , raises you above the clawed masses without an extension cord
slapdash loser, Jun 27 2003

       pluterday - were they Chinese mitten crabs? If so, eradicate with extreme prejudice.
thumbwax, Jun 27 2003

       I think an extension cord is easier to carry than a lounge chair. Plus, I OWN an extension cord.
Overpanic, Jun 27 2003

       I think what you need is a dog to chase the crabs. Unless of course your dog falls asleep... Well, would still work as an early warning system "Yip" (the sound of a dog waking up in pain).
Worldgineer, Jun 27 2003

       [gnomethang] Your links, bravo! Esp. the lonely child link…ah, I died!

[thumb] No, they weren't Chinese mitten crabs. Thank God.

[slapdash loser] Lounge chairs are so….so escapist.
pluterday, Jun 27 2003

       I like catching crabs...they pinch pretty hard, though so you gotta get 'em just the right way! Quite amusing!
15420, May 26 2004


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